TWENTY-FIVE
HONOLULU.
Gorgeous, glamorous, bustling. They’d spent little time in the city on their stopover on the way to Dyce’s island. And although they arrived in the afternoon that day, their itinerary didn’t allow much wiggle room for sightseeing.
Dinner was next, and she’d just got out of the shower when knocking on her door diverted her from the lotion bottle.
It would be Alessia. Everyone had been given their own room. Great for privacy, not so great for security. Wasn’t it easier to keep everyone safe if the group were watching over each other too?
Tucking in her towel, she opened the door, smiling. Except, surprise, Roxie was the one waiting there.
“Rox,” she said and backed off to let her in. “Where were you? We didn’t see you on the plane.”
“I flew in this morning, I had a thing.”
The woman went over to the window to admire the view, though hers couldn’t be much different… unless they weren’t in the same hotel.
“Are you eating dinner with us? I have to get changed.”
Roxie circled her wrist above her shoulder in an absent wave. “Carry on, carry on.”
She rushed back into the bathroom to finish with the lotion and switched out the towel for the complimentary robe.
“You look amazing,” she said, dragging out her makeup case to dump it by the mirror. “Do you have a squad of people who—”
“If I want to,” Roxie said on a laugh, spinning around to perch against the windowsill. “How was Dyce last night?”
Oh, unexpected. She paused in her makeup for a second before meeting Roxie’s eye. “He takes it all on, you know? He’s really this laid-back, easygoing guy, and this is high stress.”
“You’d think the multibillion-dollar empire would get a guy used to that.”
Although Roxie was teasing, she saw a flash of what she’d seen in Zane too. That guilt and concern couldn’t be for Roman, surely.
“You can’t be a stranger to stress either.”
“I don’t feel stress,” Roxie said, folding her arms. “Not since Zairn, he deals with all that serious stuff, I just look pretty for him.”
“There’s something on your mind though.” She tossed her eyeliner back into the case. “Is it about last night?”
Roxie sighed. “We’re only here because I demanded Zairn take me on a rehearsal honeymoon.”
“You feel guilty? You could never have foreseen—”
“It’s not guilt…” Roxie didn’t sound guilty, it was more like subdued impatience. “He’s a good guy, my guy. A lot of people don’t think that, and the media sometimes has a skewed view, but he really does have a good heart.”
“I believe you.”
Everything she’d seen of him suggested that was true.
“And he loves his friends, just like I love my girls, we’d do anything for any of them. Be anywhere, support anywhere, love anywhere.”
“Except Roman isn’t his friend.”
“No,” Roxie said with a single head shake. “But he loves Dyce, and Rourke, he likes Struan, and Tripp damn well lives in Crimson Palace back in New York.”
She smiled. “That’s a great name.”
“I know,” Roxie said with a faux hair toss. “We’re part of this network, this unseen something that draws us all together. The world doesn’t see it, the people around who read about us and talk about us, they don’t see that we’re real people. Or how close we are.”
“You’re aspirational. They want to be you, live your lives, spend your money. And, you know, the way you’ve described your network to me, and when I hear you talk about it… it’s aspirational too. Not a lot of people have unconditional love in their lives.”
Boosting off the windowsill, Roxie’s hands rose, palms toward the ceiling, fingers slightly curled. “I want to do more for him. Be more for him. He doesn’t understand how he’s just everything to everyone. All the time, he’s there, no questions asked. He’s run after me as I’ve run after my girls, he’s always there. Always supporting me!”
She didn’t get it. “And you’d rather he didn’t?”
Her friend grew solemn. “He takes it all on. All of it. Everyone else’s—and part of that’s my fault and—God, Thea, it’s like I can’t love him enough.”
“You adore him, that’s obvious to anyone who sees you together.”
In private anyway. If they fed the press stories, presenting themselves as chum to cover others upset, the public may see them in a different light. She’d only known the couple a short time, and already she aspired to be part of something so consuming.
“We don’t doubt our love for each other, that would be insane after all we’ve been through, that’s not what I mean.”
“So what do you mean?”
Roxie thought about it for a second before talking. “Even if I give him my all, even if every person on this whole planet was to give him their all, it wouldn’t be enough. I love him so damn much that he’s in my DNA, he’s all of me, every part of me, and fuck it hurts to love him with every atom. He deserves the universe.”
Her friend wasn’t sad or scared or angry, Roxie just couldn’t hold it all in.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” she said, subduing a smile. “But he feels the same way about you.”
“I know.” Roxie rolled her eyes and came over to pick up the eyeliner again. “The idiot. Close your eyes.” She sat down and did as ask, allowing Roxie to do her makeup. “We just had an anniversary, maybe it’s making me sentimental. I just want to tell the people I can tell that he’s secretly divine.”
“Noted,” she said, touched by the woman’s need to praise her man.
“You snuck Dyce away quick last night. Horny?”
The tease curved her lips for a flash. “We do have a lot of sex.”
“Preach it, sister. These men are overachievers in all kinds of imaginative ways. Sometimes you have to release the parking brake and just let them at it.”
She laughed. “I hear that.” An exhale came while watching Roxie pick out some shadow. “Last night was… I just couldn’t see him like that anymore. He wants to help, he wants to fix things—”
“Another thing our men have in common. All of them are fixers. Even when we want to vent and—you know what, I’ll let Jane have that discussion with you.”
She closed her eyes and Roxie continued with the makeup. “Zane’s tired. The island is supposed to be his sanctuary, a safe space away from the real world. You know, he doesn’t really like Roman that much.”
“No one likes Roman that much. No one who actually knows him.”
And in talking it out, she garnered new understanding of Roxie’s meaning about Zairn. “Like you said, Zane deserves the universe. I want to support him, to hold up, and care for him the way that he cares for me. Roman’s a burden for him, he’d never say it, but that’s what he is. I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t want him worrying about me, I want to take care of him.”
“Sometimes we’re the only ones they’ll listen to.”
“Zane and I haven’t been together that long, but I’m not sure anyone else could’ve stolen him away like I did last night.”
“We have to be the ones who say no. Set those boundaries for them when they can’t set them themselves. Z’s big on boundaries.”
“I noticed Zane was frayed and didn’t want him to feel that way. It’s not fair all this, he’s neglecting his own needs.”
“We have to be more subtle in our care sometimes, you did good.”
“But it’s only temporary, sex is only a temporary distraction.” Which Roman liked to shatter as often as possible. “Is it just me or does it feel like a no-win situation?”
“With Roman? More like a no-hope situation. I’m all for people kicking their habits and starting anew. Addiction is a disease, yes, and people need support, they deserve respect and understanding…”
“Yeah, but with Roman…”
“I get the feeling he’s just an ass. No amount of rehab will cure that.”
“Was he drunk yesterday?”
“I don’t know,” Roxie said, blowing away excess powder. “I try not to get that close to him.”
“If he thinks pills are the only problem… Do you know any doctors? Anyone who could give sound, educated advice on this?”
“I know someone who knows a lot of doctors,” Roxie said. “Do you want to go above and beyond for Roman?”
Her eyes opened to Roxie’s. A beat passed. Roman didn’t deserve their mercy, he didn’t deserve them using their connections and resources to protect and help him. If he wanted to embrace those things and change for real, great, maybe it would be a different issue. But he didn’t; he wanted to drag everyone else down to his level.
“I feel sorry for Struan,” she admitted. “He drove me to the house from the resort last night.”
“And he asked you to feel sorry for him?”
“No! I felt sorry for him before that.”
“Growing up with Roman couldn’t have been easy,” Roxie agreed, carrying on. “And growing up wearing his face…”
“But that’s the thing, it’s not his face. I mean it is, but… Struan’s whole sense of identity is tied into Roman’s. How does the guy know what he wants anymore? Like last night, you and Zairn came to,” what was supposed to be, “the cookout. Tripp, me and Zane, we can relax and be ourselves. Imagine knowing—”
“Everyone wants to watch, and maybe pounce on, you because they believe you’re your brother.”
“Does he date?”
Roxie drew back. “Are you interested?”
“Oh my God, no!” She laughed. “You’re crazy woman! It’s curiosity…”
“Like a freakshow exhibit.” Roxie’s head relaxed to the side. “That’s a good point, how does the man get laid? Does every woman think he’s his brother? Maybe he’s gay. Still, guys might think he’s his brother too.” She sucked in a breath through her teeth. “Only one way to solve this.”
The brush went back into the bag and she handed over the mascara tube before flouncing to her purse at the window.
“What are you doing?”
Roxie dug around for a second and pulled something out, triumphant, a phone, only to immediately deflate. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” Roxie declared and dropped the phone back into her purse before floating to the phone by the bedside to pick up the receiver. “If anyone asks, you’re having a torrid affair with Zairn.”
The woman said the oddest things. And though her brows went up, Roxie didn’t notice. Her friend was busy tapping digits. She paused, hit speaker, then hung up and sat on the bed. Ringing echoed between them.
“Who are we calling?”
Just having the option to call was a novelty. One she’d considered embracing for a brief spell, then remembered she was way behind in her project so didn’t want to speak to her boss.
“This is an unknown number,” a male voice interrupted the ringing. “Juni? May? Is that April?”
“Do you have a woman for every month of the year, Skippy?”
“And day of the week too,” he said. “Tibbs will fit you in.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. Don’t you need a headshot? Naked pictures or…?”
“Ah, I’m not that picky, sweetheart. Have you seen the Empress?”
“Funny, funny, guy,” Roxie said, twirling the phone cord around her finger. “You know what will be really funny? Watching you try to suck your own cock. Mm, yeah, I think I’ll get the camera out for that one. Host a special edition of my stream.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve shared us with the world.”
“What we are is not their business.”
Silence descended. Not awkward or uncomfortable, profound, intimate.
“I love you, Scroogey.”
“I know, Lola Bunny,” he said and quickly changed tack. “Now what do you want?”
“Is Struan seeing anyone?” The quiet that followed stretched so long, even Roxie jerked. “Casanova?”
“This is how these things start, with questions like that one.”
“These things?” Roxie scoffed. “What things? There are no things. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, yes, you do, Little Miss Meddler.”
“I’m not meddling in anything. We were just wondering.”
“We? Who’s we? No, let me guess, you’re with Thea.”
She licked her lips when Roxie turned to gesture at the phone. “Hi, Zairn.”
“See, you and your girls. Always you and your girls.”
A gasp of excitement thrust Roxie’s shoulders back. “Oh, oooh! This could be another threesome opportunity!”
“He’s not gay,” Zairn said. How did he know what Roxie meant? She could’ve meant the two of them and the hot, sculpted, stunt guy. Although, hold up, they’d had a threesome before? “And, yes, I am sure.”
“Fun sucker,” Roxie mumbled at the phone. “Does he use the Roman thing? Maybe it’s not just money he gets out of the deal. Might help him pick up women.”
“Could do,” Zairn said. “Though he wouldn’t. Struan? Not in a million years. Commit sexual fraud like that?”
“Ah, yes, of course, we have to call Gauge for advice on that.”
“You know him and Rainie are together now. Happy. That’s all forgotten.”
Roxie bowed closer to the phone and tapped her temple. “Not all forgotten, it still lives in here.”
“Uh,” she said, rising. “He can’t see you.”
“Mm hmm,” Zairn agreed, kind of smug. “You want to know why I can’t see you?”
“Because I’m not naked and you don’t like video calls unless my breasts are exposed?”
Zairn hmmed. “That, yes, and because I will bet every cent I have that your cellphone isn’t charged.”
She tsked, her head rolling on her shoulders. “Well that’s not a surprise. No points, no prizes, Caller. You have met me before.”
“I’m calling Astrid.”
“You could do that, Skippy, but by the time she got here, I’d be somewhere else.”
“Planes can go in all different directions, baby. The pilot just presses some buttons, and the stick moves—”
“Yes, thank you, my big, handsome, mansplaining billionaire. Like you know anything about flying a plane. We should invite Struan to New York for a while.”
And Zairn accepted the conversation shift without missing a beat.
“Okay. Don’t know how that will work with the show being shot in LA. He spends a lot of time in New York. He stays with Tripp when he’s there.”
Roxie slanted her way. “Which, translated, means he spends a lot of time living with us. Life at Crimson Palace is a never-ending slumber party.”
“You complaining? You were just saying to invite the guy—”
“I think everyone should live with us always.”
“Yeah, damn our friends for having their own lives.”
“How does Struan get laid?” Roxie asked, just tossing the question in there like it was nothing.
Zairn’s inhale was audible. “I guess the same way other guys get laid. You know when I give you one of our special, special hugs—”
“You don’t hug me during sex, are you kidding? You’re too busy getting your kicks.”
“What else are you for, dear?”
“That special edition stream is looking more and more likely, Scroogey.”
A quiet laugh warmed the line. “Look, it’s no major secret Roman’s a twin. They don’t crow about it, but Struan doesn’t remain in hiding like a monster in the attic or under the bed. It’s been a few years since he and I were picking up women at the same time, but from memory…”
“From memory, what?” Roxie asked, barely giving the guy the time to draw breath.
“He tells them.”
Simple three word answer. Spoken kind of like they were idiots and, uh, okay, maybe they were a little.
“If I was Roman, I’d be more likely to tell people I was Struan.”
Roxie laughed. “Woman’s got a point. I know which guy I’d rather ride.”
“That’s touching, Lola. We should write it in this year’s Christmas card.”
Roxie gasped, suddenly pouncing to the edge of the bed. “We’ll send joint Christmas cards! Like the President and First Lady.”
“Yeah, because they’re the only other couple to send joint Christmas cards.”
“You’re snarky today, Casanova. Someone miss their early morning wakeup call?” Another knock on her door. “We’ve got to go, baby. We’re popular over here. Love you!” Without giving him time to respond, she hung up. “Want me to answer the door?”