Chapter 23 #3
Oh, this is a dangerous game where my heart is concerned, but I’m too far gone to care at this point.
Not even the great Hex Alverra can feign all of this admiration he’s showing me, and there’s no one to pretend for in this dark and empty office.
So there has to be some part of his feelings that is real, and I’m going to cling to that part for as long as I can.
I’ll deal with the aftermath of my broken heart later if things between us don’t go the way I’d like.
“We get some sleep first,” I say again and roll my eyes when the prince gives me a ridiculous puppy-dog look, like he’s only ever wanted a chance to tell the world how much he adores me and I won’t let him do it.
“I’ll reach out to Callum and see how tightly his hands are tied or if he has anything on Crowell that could help.
Crowell was a lot more talkative than Blackmere, so I think he’s our best way in.
If we can figure out where he might be, then—”
“Then we can figure out who he reports to and who needs to see us as a united front now,” he finishes with a nod.
“Brilliant.”
He snorts a laugh. “Sometimes I have something to offer.”
“All the time,” I argue and shiver when he returns my comment with a dark and heated look.
Clearly the prince doesn’t get enough praise if those three words earned me a look like that.
And whether it’s a good idea or simply a response to his expression, I say my next words without thinking.
“As for now, maybe we can give our friend outside a bit of a show.”
Making a sort of choking sound, he looks at the window, though I doubt he can see anything from where he’s standing. “A show. Meaning?”
My stomach flips, but I can’t back down now. I’m pushing things when it comes to our partnership, but anything we do going forward needs to feel as natural as possible. The more practice we can get…
I swallow a sudden wave of nerves and give him my best cheeky smile. “Would you relax? I mean we can use the shadow to our advantage. Make it look like you’ve just dropped me off at work.”
“As a good paramour should,” he says in a husky tone that elicits another shiver.
“Not the word I would use, Prince.”
He leans in, using his hold on my hand to keep me from leaning away. Not that I would have, given how completely he commands my attention with his vividly blue eyes. “I thought it might be better than ‘lover.’”
I curse under my breath and can barely get the words out as I say, “Boyfriend didn’t come to mind?”
How is he getting even closer? This was not what I meant when I suggested a show; the man outside can’t even see us.
“It felt inadequate,” he murmurs, his breath tickling the hair near my ear.
Before I’ve really had a chance to process his nearness, he pulls back and exhales slowly.
“Right,” he says, almost like he’s saying it to himself. “I can give him a show.”
“I certainly hope so after that.” The words slip off my tongue unbidden, but I stand by them.
Hex smiles and runs his thumb along mine again. “You set the pace,” he says. “Tell me exactly what you want me to do.”
“I want you to kiss me.”
His eyes go wide, his mouth slipping open. “Oh.”
Sensing his distress, I quickly backtrack. “If you’re comfortable with that. If not, then—”
“I can kiss you, Astrid.” His face blossoms with red, and he clenches his jaw as the rest of his body goes rigid. “If you want me to.”
If only he knew just how long I’ve wanted him to.
Instead of answering, since I’m not sure I can find the right words, I grip his hand tight and pull him to the door and outside.
I close the door again with trembling fingers, something I know the prince notices because he tightens his hold on my other hand, and I’m pretty sure this is the worst idea I’ve ever had.
But then he spins me around and uses his body to press me up against the door, his mouth close to mine. “Are you sure?” he asks on a whisper.
I’ve never been more sure of something in my life. I nod, and his nose brushes mine as he moves in at an achingly slow pace. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he wants to savor this moment.
Blinding headlights flood the street as a car turns the corner, and Hex freezes. He pulls back, a sort of haunted expression on his face as he tracks the vehicle’s progress. The sound of his phone buzzing in his pocket makes him flinch, and he separates his body from mine.
“I should go,” he says, a wrinkle forming between his brows as he looks down at the screen. “Was that enough?”
For me? Hardly. But for the purposes of our watching friend? “Yes.” Disappointment fills the word because I can’t hide it when I feel it in every inch of my body. And yet, in the strangest way, I’m almost relieved too, though I don’t have the capacity to understand why.
Wincing, he moves in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “We need to get some rest,” he says, like it wasn’t my idea in the first place. “Let me know as soon as you have a plan, yeah?”
Before I can even attempt an argument to keep him here a little longer, he strides away at a fast clip, apparently determined to walk all the way to the castle.
I should stop him and offer my motorbike, but my voice sticks in my throat.
All I can do is watch him go until he disappears into the darkness.