NINETEEN
ONE STEP, two steps. This was so much easier with Jane and Toria at her side.
Not that she’d ever be without them. Jane’s solidarity was important too.
This was them, doing this huge life changing thing, together.
And Toria wasn’t being left behind, their confident friend was more than happy with her life and her freedom.
Married.
Shit, her heart was hopping. The three of them stood alone in the small, private foyer at the head of the aisle. Doors on all four walls, plenty of avenues for escape. Grand Hotel thought of everything.
The sound beyond the double doors up front signaled people. A lot of people. That didn’t scare her. He was in there. Her Casanova. Waiting for her. Something he was accustomed to maybe, but definitely not on this scale.
Was he thinking of their secret too? This was pantomime, theater for their egos and fans. They didn’t need to do this for them but owed it to… everyone.
Their relationship had been scrutinized and dissected on almost every platform, in every form of media. They belonged to the people they cared about, and the people who cared about them. And, yes, that included the Delights, the Crimsettes, and the Queens.
But they had a secret. One the world didn’t know. Their union, their marriage, was old news. Still, there was something exhilarating about performing under the big top.
Adrenaline rushed and Jane’s hand got clammy.
Standing up in front of thousands of people was something Roxie did practically every day.
Sure, most of them were numbers on a screen, but that didn’t diminish their importance or impact.
Jane, on the other hand, was less experienced with being visually consumed.
“You ready?” Toria asked.
Who? Her or Jane?
Everyone had to be on their game.
“Ready,” she said and they looked to Jane. “You’ve been ready for this since you were four years old. Just keep your eyes on Knox.”
“I can’t—I don’t—this is too much. What if it doesn’t work out?”
“It did work out, honey.” The back of her fingers skimmed down her cheek. “Just like we talked about on Crimson Isle. You thought it wouldn’t work out then, now look where we are.”
If only they’d known then what they knew now.
“Yeah,” Toria said. “You really did find love in paradise. You did it. You found him.”
“How you feeling?” she asked. “You ready?” Jane just nodded, still kind of glazed though it appeared more in wonder than in fright. “I’ll go first, soften up the crowd. Toria will go next with Ballard and Cam. They’re waiting with our dads… unless you need Toria to stay here with you.”
“No. No. No,” Jane said and swallowed. “That works.”
“Ready?” Toria asked again.
“Ready.”
“We’ll stand over here,” Toria said, leading Jane to the corner that would be behind the double doors when they were open.
On the other side of those doors was her father, waiting to hand her over to the guy she’d already married.
Yeah, there was some irony in her father giving permission after the fact.
Hell, since when had they been linear? Zairn would play along.
Oh, he was good at playing, with her, with the family, with absolutely everyone.
Her guy was always top of the league… many, many leagues, actually.
Where was she again? Ah, good. People. Married. She had this. No problem.
There had to be a camera somewhere because she’d been told to face the doors and just nod when ready. And there it was. She moistened her lips and straightened her posture.
Lead with the boobs.
The doors opened, the music started. Her father stepped to the center of the aisle, arm aloft, awaiting hers. This was madness. The people. The music. The flowers… that look on her dad’s face. How the hell did this happen? No… uh oh, oh no.
Shit.
She blanched and leaped aside, crowding behind the open door, hiding with her friends.
“What are you—you need to go down there,” Toria hissed.
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t, I can’t.”
“What? Why?” Jane asked, concern as genuine as ever. “You don’t want to marry Zairn?”
“Whiplash! We never saw this one coming,” Toria said. “Want me to call Dennis? What do we think about Acapulco?”
“Acapulco later…” The music faltered and stopped. Oh, God, her mouth, her chest, this was bad. Breathe. Calm. Breathe. “Shit…”
“Suddenly gone shy? Afraid of the people? Since when have you had stage fright?”
Not a chance of that, she commanded nightclubs full of people at a second’s notice these days.
“No, I…” Her heart raced. “Oh…”
“Rox—”
“Lola…” came the shouted drawl from beyond their shield. “Do I have to come get you?”
“Uh, no, dear,” she called back. “We’re good here. All good. I’ll be out in a minute, Casanova.”
God, she couldn’t even say that without the tightness in her chest growing. It was going to burst. She was going to burst.
“You’re going to break his heart?” Jane breathed, her own eyes tearing. “Oh, Roxie…”
“No,” she said, circling her lips to pant a little. “No broken hearts.” Deep breath. “I’ll get it together, just give me a minute.”
“That’s what the walk is for, to get it together. Just walk, that’s all you have to do.”
“I… I can’t right now.” Squeezing her lips together, her cheeks puffed before her admission came out in a long breath. “If I go out there now, like this…” Her volume dropped. “I’ll laugh! I can’t keep a straight face.”
“Oh my God,” Jane said.
Toria was less help because she did laugh. “I love it!”
“You can’t—I can’t… I can’t laugh. Stop. Curse you, champagne! Oh, I have to take this seriously. All those people want…”
Reverence. Awe. Dignity. Fuck, why was she her?
“You can do this…” Though it didn’t help much that Toria still struggled with her own amusement. “Take your own advice, just look at Zairn.”
She huffed. “Are you crazy? That’s not going to help.
If I look at him, I’ll laugh for sure. He’ll be up there, all somber, smooth operator, smoldering and respectable and…
I’ll be thinking of the last time I had his cock in my mouth.
” So inappropriate. Seriously. Seriously.
She could take this seriously. “Okay…” She rolled her shoulders and tipped her head side to side, limbering up for the prize fight.
“I can do this… Easy… Somber.” She cleared her throat and blanked her face. “Okay, good, I’m good. Take two.”
Jane fluffed at her hair a little. “You’ve got this.”
Roxie stepped out into view of the aisle again. “Okay,” she called. This time her father came to her, no chance of backing out again when he snagged her arm. “We’re good. Music, maestro.”
Cam and Ballard flanked the aisle, waiting to escort Toria. Judging by the looks on their faces, they’d heard some of her exchange with the girls. One smiled and the other scowled, enjoying her in their own ways.
After passing the duo, the room opened up. There were people. Many, many people. As she walked, the true grandeur hit home, it was humbling. That man up there, the one smirking at her—yes, he was smirking—he’d done this for her. This all existed because of them.
Did it matter he hadn’t made the calls or attended every planning session? No. The wedding was nothing compared to the life they shared, what they’d been through together, what they’d endured.
He’d done all this for her. Not the wedding, the relationship.
He was the reason they made it. Him. Every time he tolerated her flippancy, every time he was patient, he was kind, generous, willing to overlook her failings.
He could’ve walked away any time, could’ve done better than her for sure.
Not “better” per se but definitely easier.
On a different path, he could’ve been with a straightforward woman, someone like Kesley who’d be demure and sophisticated.
But no, he put up with her eavesdropping, with her meddling, he enabled her bad habits and her independence.
Gave her the latitude to prop up her girls, to fight for them, to win.
The guests smiled and whispered at her, but she didn’t acknowledge them, just kept on going, one foot in front of the other. She barely heard the music over the sound of his heart calling to hers.
His smirk faded to something much more profound as he stepped down from the elevated altar to meet them. Her father lifted her veil, it took her a real effort to tear her gaze from Zairn’s to accept her dad’s kiss. The men shook hands and shared a few words.
When her father went to his seat, Zairn ran the back of his finger down her cheek. “Nice to finally see you.” See? Yes, because they’d done feel and hear last night… taste too, mmm. “What was the delay?”
The ball of hilarity she’d squashed down into her gut still hopped and bounced. Man was playing with fire asking for an explanation. If he kept loosening that valve, laughter could explode out of her at any second.
“I was going to laugh. It just hit me, this urge to…” because being with him was filled with surreal moments like this. “I still might so, you know, brace yourself.”
His lips curled, lighting his eyes until his own laugh cascaded around her. The most incredible sound…
He cupped her face in both hands to angle her head back. “You want to laugh, Lola Bunny? Laugh,” he murmured against her mouth before joining them.
Mm, she could’ve used a taste of that tongue before her journey down the—
“Not yet!” Jane’s voice echoed from the foyer.
They couldn’t see her, maybe Jane had spies. How else would her friend know they were…? Maybe because the room was smiling and clapping. Well, hell, it wouldn’t be their wedding without a little drama, would it?
Jane was her own kind of wildcat and took this stuff seriously. Serious enough for all of them. They’d respect that. She really wanted to respect that.
Zairn linked their fingers and led her onto the altar to wait at the side as Toria took her trip down the aisle.
“How’s Jane doing?” Zairn murmured, still doing his duty of being focused on Toria though his hand slid down her back to stop just before the ample ruffled skirt.
“Maybe a seven on the Jane scale. Though that’s before she’s walked out to all these people.”
“You’re a vision, Roxanna. As stunning today as you were in your Lola pajamas the night we met. I’m one lucky sonofabitch.”
She rocked her hip against him. “Smooth talker.”
“You sure that thing doesn’t have quick access?”
Tipping her head, she met the mischief in his eye. “Get Tripp’s permission, did you?”
“No, I thought I’d take a swing at screwing you all by myself.”
“I’m a bride,” she said as the music changed to Jane’s fanfare. Good thing their friend was so eager to marry, she’d talked about her wedding so often that she and Toria knew the details by heart. “You don’t screw a bride.”
“Bang? Bone? Or am I sticking with the traditional and just fucking you senseless?”
And there was that urge to laugh again.
“You make sweet love to your bride,” she teased in a mock player voice. “If she lets you.”
“Mm? Bit late to play hard to get when you’re wearing the ring, the dress. I’m sure all these people are here for something. Any ideas what they’re waiting for?”
“Yes,” she said, her shoulders rising with her inhale. Breath held, she anticipated… “For her.”