51. Christian
FIFTY-ONE
CHRISTIAN
“The police have arrested Eda Mikael, former CEO of Starlight and Daniel Hayes, former CEO of Moonshine, under the speculation of working together with Starlight’s shareholder group to hide their sexual violence assaults against newly hired interns under the ruse of climbing up the social ladder. Starlight’s shareholder’s will be put on trial this afternoon for their actions. Eda Mikael is proven guilty of embezzling company money and first-degree murder. Due to this, Adelaide Mikael’s name has been cleared of all charges and is proven innocent. Congratulations to her recent marriage and the public collectively apologies for their misconduct towards the empress.”
Why the fuck wasn’t I satisfied? They were in jail, every last bit of them.
Probably because your wife wants a divorce.
Osama turned the radio off and put the car in park. “Are you sure you want to talk to him?”
Beyond the grey stone wall, my dad shared a cell with other criminals. Here I was, about to talk to him after four fucking years.
“Wait out here,” I slammed the door shut and headed inside.
Typical fucking procedures of filling out paperwork.
They led me into a room where visitors spoke to inmates. A clear window dividing the space between them, and their conversation carried through a telephone hung on the privacy wall.
Five minutes later, dad walked in through the doors. He paused the second he saw me.
A quivering smile broke on his face. He took the phone as he sat, urging me to do the same.
“Christian,” he spoke.
Intense visions of him chasing me around with a hose, letting me lay on his lap when we looked up at the sky, and letting me sleep with him when Eomma went through her first surgery all rushed towards my soul.\
I couldn’t forgive him as my mother’s son.
But perhaps I could forgive him as a person.
“Why’d you cheat on Eomma?” The question fucking pressured my insides, squeezing and pinching until it finally released.
Dad’s smile dropped. “I regret it a lot.”
“I’m not asking if you regret it, I’m asking why you did it.”
A couple of deep exhales. “Before your mother died, I was lost. I roamed around New York, called doctors all over the world to cure her—they couldn’t. One reckless night, I was drunk, and it happened. It kept happening. With her, my sorrows disappeared.”
“Do you love her?”
“No,” he responded quickly. “The only woman I’ve ever loved is your mother.”
“You don’t cheat on the people you love, father .”
He flinched at the word. “She told me your mother gave her approval before she died.”
A humourless chuckle. “And you believed her?”
He shook his head. “You left me, and she held on. It’s the worst excuse, son. But I needed consolation and I had no one.”
The jarring jab of a thousand splinters in my stomach, collectively ached at once. From the moment Eomma passed and I caught them in bed together, I fucking thought they were the bad guys—they were the villains.
Not once had I fucking thought that my dad, the man my mother loved, was eating himself on the inside—struggling to survive. He wanted the comfort of his family, but we left him.
I left him.
“When you distanced yourself from me, I thought you needed the space. When you asked for Moonshine, I gave it to you because I thought you needed it more than I did,” he continued. A single tear fell from his tired eyes. I fisted my hands on my lap.
“You still helped Eda in her scheme, dad.”
He stumbled over the croak. “It was the only way to feel connected to you.”
Stupefied, I asked. “What?”
“Eda knew you were looking into her secrets, but she thought she was smarter than you which is why she didn’t pay much attention. But I knew if I helped her, I’d be speaking to you in some messed up way.”
My chest constricted. “You couldn’t have talked to me?”
“I was embarrassed—I will be ashamed for the rest of my life.”
“You should be,” I snarled. “She was taking advantage of young interns, letting men touch them and you did nothing.”
“I don’t regret falling into her scheme,” he said quietly. “Because through this, I got to see you again.”
“This is the last time you’ll ever see me,” I responded. “For the rest of your life, you’ll live with the reminder of what you did to your family, to those interns, and to yourself .”
A broken nod. “If this is the last time, I’ll ever see you then can I say something?”
I waited.
“I love you, son. I never stopped and I never will. I’m not a good man, I wasn’t a great father, but I love you.”
Tears burned my eyes.
Without another word, I slammed the phone back in place and left.
As I walked back to the car, each remnant of a cry washed away the past behind me.
I’d had enough focusing on the past.
It was time for a happy fucking future.
After I won back my wife .