1
Bevin
“So likeeeee,” I hedged as I glanced around. “What do we dooooo?”
“I don’t actually know,” Nigel admitted awkwardly. We’d met when he’d protected me from some assholes in our Physical Training I class while the teacher and his lackeys just watched what was going on. He was popular in our grade for being nice and helpful to everyone.
And being handsome.
Nigel was definitely handsome with his dirty blond hair, green eyes, and he was scary but in a sexy way. If that made sense? He was shy but didn’t take shit and a lot of women liked that.
I liked that, even if I wanted us to be only friends while everyone else acted like him being one of the points of my star was a done deal.
He cleared his throat. “Do you want to dance?”
“I don’t really know how to dance,” I admitted. “Do you?”
“No, I just thought women liked to dance,” he mumbled.
I snorted. “My sisters are graceful and learned. I look like a broken robot, and for once my family weren’t being mean to say that. I have seen myself in the mirror. It’s accurate.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“No, it is.” I sighed. “It really is. I mean, I guess I could be taught—not the point.”
“I wouldn’t really want to do it here with people who would judge either,” he said under his breath and leaned in more. “Plus, it’s weird that the dance floor is the hallway, right?”
“I have no idea,” I grumbled. “So do we like get a drink?”
“I don’t drink,” he admitted. “I mean we have water.”
And I had only really drank alcohol once. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with open cups on a table filled with whatever when I didn’t know how to use the right magic to test what was in them.
Something to add to the never-ending list to learn.
“We should learn how to test if drinks are safe,” Nigel mumbled, reading my mind once again.
Actually, that was probably just a smart thing to think of and most freshmen would consider that after their first college party. Right?
I let out another heavy sigh. “We are such dorks. Seriously.”
He didn’t respond for a moment and then leaned in even more, his breath tickling my ear. “Are we though? I mean… Is this really supposed to be fun?”
I glanced around the dorm party to celebrate midterms being over and honestly wasn’t sure. Morrigan University wasn’t like in the movies or what I’d seen in shows—and, by extension, its dorms or parties. Then again… They needed more room for angles and whatever.
This was just too many people cramped into rooms, dancing in the too-small hallway, calling it a party. Each room had a different drink you were supposed to try. Maybe?
Oh, and apparently when they said to bring something, it was booze. They didn’t say that, but the “hosts” looked at us weird when we came overloaded with a bunch of food.
How could a party not have food? I brought a lot of party food.
And yet, it was gone. All eaten.
So I was weird for having brought it, but it was devoured within a half an hour and… Righhhhhhhht.
“We didn’t even get any of the food you brought, we’re drinking the bottled water we had to go buy from vending machines ourselves, and no one has even like tried to talk to us,” Nigel whispered in my ear. “I really don’t think it’s us.”
I snorted. “They’ve tried to talk to you a lot, but look the other way when they see me. I’m the problem.”
“No, you’re not,” he argued. His tone was clear though that there was a problem.
And he currently thought it was Winter, my boyfriend—publicly, and we were together even if I had something more with a few men. One? Sergey only really?
I didn’t know most days what I was doing.
I didn’t know if Nigel was right or wrong. Honestly, I thought both.
Winter and I had gotten into a fight after my “stunt” going to the cafeteria in a bikini. A… Well, I wasn’t sure if it was a big fight or not. I had no idea what really made up the levels of fighting in relationships. My parents didn’t fight.
My father exploded and my mother cowered.
And TV, movies, and the internet weren’t really what someone should ever trust. Ever.
Which made me clueless.
Which led to me wanting to blow off steam and feel normal.
Which was how I actually accepted one of the flyers people were passing out about the freshman dorm party. And that led to me asking Nigel to come with me because I was too chicken to go by myself.
Which ended up with us in this comically, not really funny situation of being two dorks leaning against the wall sipping water while everyone else seemed to have fun. Like they knew the secret of how to… Life and we were missing out.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“Hey, come on, don’t say that,” he murmured as he leaned in more. “This just isn’t our scene.” He bumped my shoulder when I simply nodded. “Now we know, okay? Maybe other parties will be fun but not freshman dorm ones.”
That actually made me feel better and I took in a slow, deep breath to shield up my emotional armor a bit.
But still came up with nothing. “So now what?”
He frowned and that actually made me chuckle and then he smiled. “Let’s go find our thing and something else for college break?”
“Sounds good, but I have no idea what that is.”
His face lit up and he turned to me. “I got an idea.”
Good, because my ideas had been striking out left and right lately and I was feeling a bit defeated about that.
We left and Nigel whispered off to the side with one of my security asking them to help us out. I was curious but left it alone when clearly he wanted it more as a surprise. It amused the two guys who heard him, so at least I knew it was fun?
Or amusing.
That was better than the party at least.
I was curious when we ended up at a grocery store and wanted to check it all out. He gave me a funny look and told me to hurry up.
“Oh, sorry,” I whispered and jogged over to him.
He did a double take and actually slid his arm around me in a way that was more than friendly. He leaned his forehead down to mine. “No, I am. I wasn’t thinking of—is this your first time at a grocery store?”
I didn’t want to answer. I knew how crazy that would sound. I couldn’t answer that. “What are we here for?”
“Something I love, but we’ll come back and check out every aisle another time, okay? All of the grocery stores even,” he promised. “Just us.”
“And my security,” I drawled.
“I don’t even notice them anymore,” he fibbed, kissing my forehead.
I swallowed a flinch, wondering if Nigel thought this was like a date since I’d asked him to go to a party with me. Was it?
Did I hate that idea?
Is that cheating on Winter to not even discuss it with him?
Oh good, another reason for him to be mad at me, and this time he would absolutely be valid.
I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t see what was going on until he had what looked like a wine bottle in his hand. I was going to remind him we weren’t old enough to drink, but then I saw the label.
Sparkling grape juice? That was a thing?
Apparently, it was, and they had all sorts of flavors on the display.
“It’s a thing popular for humans to drink around the holidays,” he told me quietly.
“I don’t really know why. Maybe for the ones who don’t drink alcohol to still feel festive?
I don’t really care because it’s really good and now they have more kinds.
I had an apple cranberry last year that I want to find again. ”
“That does sound good,” I agreed, looking at the shelf. There was actually one left that I couldn’t reach, hurrying to point it out to him.
He was so cute when excited and quickly grabbed it. Then he patiently showed me how to do the self-checkout. Nigel tried to pay but didn’t make a big deal when I did instead.
Next, we went for fried chicken.
Sparkling fruit juice, fried chicken, and potato wedges…. Sounded much better than a lame college dorm party actually.
He chuckled deeply when I had my first bite and moaned. “I know, right? This was one of my favorite things to do with one of my… Friends.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “I thought you never dated?”
Nigel did a double take with a bit too much hope in his eyes that I ignored.
No, I wasn’t jealous. I just didn’t like people who changed their stories, so it would be an issue to me if he’d lied. I think he realized that because he focused back on his own food.
“He was—it’s complicated. We’re friends, but he wasn’t someone who should have been around the orphanage.
Bad influence and all of that.” He snorted and took too big of a bite of his food.
“Yeah, the good influences in that place were shit, so give me all the bad ones.” He let out a harsh breath and shook it off.
“What was that place like?” I asked, curious. It was a few weeks before he’d even told me his last name was Jones.
“Another night,” he brushed off. “But we—he’s more like an older cousin. That’s the hesitation. I miss him. Getting to see him all of the time, but you have to do school.” He shrugged and his shoulders were tense.
So clearly, let it go.
Nigel really was a tightly closed book which made me feel awkward at times because he knew so much about me. Like everything was unbalanced?
Then again, what did I know?
Right then, I was just going to take the win that he’d let me in enough to share this part of him. To share his favorite memory even and fun with me.
I figured that was how to be a patient friend—a good friend to someone who had been a good friend to me.
“Thanks for not pushing,” he said when we were done eating. “It’s hard to know—I don’t know how—I’ve never had someone to—”
“Me too,” I offered when it was clear he was struggling. “It’s just…”
“What? Please tell me,” he pushed.
So I did. I told him that our knowledge of each other being so unbalanced left me a bit unbalanced with him. But I valued him and he’d been a really good friend to me.
“Friend, yeah,” he whispered, bobbing his head.
I swallowed loudly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply this was a date. I thought we were—I’m sorry.”
“No, that was me,” he admitted after a moment. “Maybe if you were single, asking me to a dorm party could be a date, but you would never ask another guy out after fighting with your boyfriend after just announcing you were dating. You would never.”
“Not intentionally,” I grumbled. “I am sorry.”
He smiled at me, something twinkling in his eyes. “It’s okay, Bev, really.”
I stared at him several moments and huffed, gesturing towards him. “I don’t get what’s going on here. Why are you smiling if you didn’t get what you want?”
“Oh, he got what he wanted,” one of the guards drawled.
“Hey, silent and unseen,” Nigel snapped, chilling when the guy held up his hands.
But I was definitely asking that guard later what he meant because Nigel ducked my question.
After we ate, we walked around campus just being curious since we never had much time to just check things out. It was always looking at where we needed to go or learning what we would need later.
We would probably forget it all, but it was peaceful since a lot of people were already gone for break.
“Are you going—we have to leave the dorms for the week, right?” I asked, feeling bad I hadn’t checked before.
“Yeah, I have somewhere to go,” he mumbled. He grabbed my hand and pulled me along to show me something he’d heard from someone else in the cafeteria and I was very, very sure it was a distraction so I didn’t ask where.
Or anything more about him.
Which made me feel weird. How could I get closer to him—even as a friend—if he kept me so shut out?
I guess it was a test of my patience?
One of the guards suggested an ice cream shop, making it clear he was craving it too. I understood when I dug into one of the best sundaes of my life.
“I really feel bad for humans that are lactose intolerant,” Nigel said with a moan.
I frowned as I took my next bite. “I thought that was only elderly humans? I saw that in a movie.”
His eyes flashed shock and he shook his head. “No, it’s people of all ages. Babies, it’s rare, but it’s all ages. As they get older, their bodies break down and then it’s super common in elderly humans.”
That was mind-boggling but also… “How do you know so much about humans? Weren’t you at an orphanage for witches and warlocks?”
He flinched. Not very noticeably, but I was watching, so I saw it. He’d flinched. “Yeah, I was. Warlock only, but people I was around—they knew it was important to understand the world wasn’t just us.” He slowly gazed at me with a look that screamed it was maybe too much to say.
I gave a half shrug and focused on my sundae. “You’re right. It is important. I wish I knew more. I should know more.”
“Our whole society should,” the other guard who hadn’t said anything yet muttered quietly. “The wake-up call we got was—we’re in trouble if we don’t pull our heads out of our asses. Seriously.”
I nodded that I heard him and ignored the look Nigel gave him. He didn’t like my guards interjecting. He thought it made it more difficult for me to have guards and then have to listen to them.
He wasn’t wrong. I’d also voiced that I was tired of people giving me too much advice or always judging what I was doing.
Maybe it was time to have a conversation with Tracey and Taylor about some better guidelines for having guards? That was smart and I actually felt good about the idea. I needed to have more of a say.
If I just grew a spine and did so.
Or figured out what I wanted to say more often.
Fun.
Oh, but I did at least ask the one guard what he’d meant that Nigel got what he’d wanted after Nigel dropped me off at the dorm. The two men shared a look and the first sighed, scrubbing the back of his neck.
“You responded to him like a woman, Bevin,” he said gently. “You blushed, and I could practically hear your heart race when he pulled you closer. That’s not just being a friend. You felt something.”
“Nigel learned he affects you as a man. He has a chance,” the other added. “That’s better than a first date to some lame dorm party neither of you enjoyed.” He snorted. “I hated that shit in the barracks too. It’s not you but the scene.”
I glanced between them. “So he learned we just need to find a better scene for a date because he will probably get one now?”
“Yes,” they both instantly answered.
Well… Shit.