4 #2
“Yeah, but I need to be a little less impressive,” I whispered, looking away from her. “I need more normal. She says this is partially because my stress is too bad and then she sent me a whole list of how to de-stress.”
“And that stressed you out because you’re too overwhelmed and some of the stuff you don’t know how to do,” Clare surmised.
I was grateful she didn’t make me say it, so I simply nodded. I handed my phone over when she asked to see it.
She let out a slow breath after a moment.
“She’s right on your room here. We both need it actually, and I realized I’m not strong enough either.
So I’ll make you a deal: I’ll get us through it on the parts you don’t know if you help me stay strong to embrace having this new life.
You were prepared to do this. I wasn’t. I was prepared for the world outside of that house. ”
“And I wasn’t.”
“No, you weren’t, and it’s time you got to enjoy that more instead of being beaten up by that. I do agree with Kelton on that,” she said gently.
I blinked back tears as I met her gaze. “I don’t know where to start, and all I see is the pain I suffered in that house when I try. Even now that it’s all boxed up and my room is completely redone. I could only handle the boxes marked ‘clothes’ when Nigel helped me.”
It was actually so much more complicated than that.
Mother—no, Rebecca Shaw—had fucked with me one last time and I hadn’t even realized it because I’d left it all alone.
She’d had the council aides pack up at least twenty extra boxes of clothes that weren’t mine and she’d obviously just wanted to get rid of.
Some of them were probably old clothes of Bryan and Alex’s—most definitely Alex’s to emotionally scar me.
Nigel had opened that box and given me some strange looks before just asking.
That was when it had all made sense and I’d been numb, handling as much as I could that day, but then gone back to ignoring it again.
“I know. I feel the same. My condo is in storage and…” She was suddenly hugging me. “We can do this. We deserve to be free and do this. Let’s try. Today, let’s just get rid of some of the shit and free ourselves, okay? We can do that, eat too much, and we’ll try some new fun drinks.”
I clutched onto Clare and finally understood how people said having siblings was the best thing ever. I really did. “Thanks.”
“I got you. You saved me, and we’re working on leaving the past behind us. Now we’re going to be better and learn how to be what sisters should be.”
“I’d like that.”
“Me too,” she rasped. “I really want to know what having real family is.”
That sounded amazing. I had that with Tracey, but… I was greedy and wanted it with Clare too.
We started easy and toured our completely finished suites. Magic—and Clare—were amazing, so they were done. She’d confirmed the furniture I’d picked out, and it was ready to be delivered since she’d ordered through the right businesses. She’d just have to set it up through our guards.
I bobbed my head and let out a long breath. “Let’s do it. I’m too—sleeping on the couch is silly. We’ll cleanse the whole house of past memories from Grandfather that are weighing me down even.”
She swallowed loudly and rubbed my arm. “Yeah, I feel the same about Grandmother. She’s been calling me saying I’m being too sensitive about what happened and—yeah. It’s hard.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll go back and just take video because I know you want to know about the rest of those books.”
“Only if you can manage it,” I hedged. “It’s not worth your sanity, Clare.”
“No, but it’s worth a bit of discomfort to help you when you’re going to help me heal my relationship with my familiar,” she said after a moment, clearly wanting the topic dropped.
Fair enough and I appreciated it. Really, I did.
We ordered delivery from OhKDog which had amazing egg sandwiches which were popular in Korea for breakfast, and instead of corn dogs, they used like… French fries for potato dogs? Or you could get cheese inside.
It was genius. Fries and cheese on a stick?
Yes. Please.
We gobbled it all up with some cider drinks while we each tackled three of our packed boxes. The whole time we joked about who made us buy what or the horrible memory associated with something. It was beyond cathartic and nice to have someone who understood.
I noticed we both grabbed a couple more boxes and they were easier. Sure, we probably only did six each total, but that was double the plan and it didn’t seem like that.
It didn’t seem so daunting then.
The furniture was delivered and set up—hers already done earlier in the week. Then she did the “easy” stuff to her. She had them put the rug I’d picked how it should be. Stuff I didn’t really care about.
But she worked with me on the stuff I did care about like my work setup for toys. Most would have liked a chase or sofa or something fancy but… Actually, this was fancy. I’d seen the price tag.
Yeah, for that price, it was fancy and definitely an upgrade from the human dog bed in the corner vibe.
It was a huge oversized round chair that they actually had trouble getting through the door even when it was taken apart.
It could genuinely fit three people and I loved it.
I could imagine sitting there for hours just working on toys and feeling all the happy.
“I love it. The vibe in here is really perfect,” Clare praised, rubbing my arm. She frowned when I simply nodded. “You want advice?”
“As long as you’re not offended if I don’t take it,” I hedged.
“Not at all, but it’s not specific,” she said easily, waiting until I nodded.
“You can always change it, Bevin. I tell that to my clients all the time. Go with what makes you happy now. Knowing you, you’d want pictures of all your favorite familiars in this area and to just surround yourself with the reasons you put so much of yourself into what you’re doing. ”
I hugged her with all I had. That was actually the best idea ever. Like… Ever.
I was back to being excited, I really was.
We continued sorting through it all, people even bringing more from Clare’s storage for her to help. She was talking about selling some of it, but I hinted that maybe some of Taylor’s employees wouldn’t have access to dresses or suits in the price range she did.
Jasmine for sure, and she’d done a lot for Clare.
Clare gave me a smile. “You do better than you think. Bryan and I weren’t fair. I’m really sorry about that.”
It truly touched me to hear that, and I did my best to graciously accept it. “He’s still a condescending jackass.”
“Oh, completely. It was just easier to have an ally in that house instead of…”
What I’d had, which was no one.
Yeah, anything was better than that. I smiled and pulled out my phone.
No, I had someone. I had Clarence and my other animal friends.
And I knew the first picture I would frame and put up in my new room.
“Can you help me make this photo shine in that spot by my chair?” I asked Clare hesitantly, showing her.
She frowned. “One of the frogs from the arboretum?”
I swallowed loudly and decided to give her some faith. “You’ve heard a lot now, but have you had enough drinks to learn the truth? At least this part?”
She searched my eyes for a long time. “No, I don’t know there are ever going to be enough drinks for that, but I want to know you better. I want us to know each other better. So tell me, little sister.”
I did, and I was beyond shocked when Clare burst out crying and hugged me. Tracey came home to find us that way, and to say she was confused was an understatement.
But I was pretty sure Tracey forgave Clare a bit after she was filled in.
Yeah, me too.