11
Bevin
No.
That was what I kept coming back to. No, he’d been honest with me just like I’d been with him.
“I’d rather you tell me and we can always talk about these things even if it’s among fish talking about pooping on each other,” I whispered, glad I said it when he chuckled.
“I can’t ever think of a world where I’d ever ask that, Winter.
I really can’t.” I met his gaze. “But if I ever do, hear me now—choose Teddy. Always protect your gift from the gods.”
“But you’re one too?” he whispered.
I smiled at him and raised one of his hands to my lips.
“You’re Sir Winter. I think you can take care of us both if that’s what you want.
I really do.” My smile turned sad. “This really isn’t about me versus Teddy.
I promise. It’s about you getting more from Teddy versus not being selfish. With me. With…”
I sighed and then pulled my hands away and he let me so I could scrub my face.
“It’s finite? It’s not like a power you just used?”
“I don’t know. We don’t know. I don’t know anything. That’s why I told Wyatt to go talk with Quinn. I can’t think it will last long and…” I caved, this dancing around not telling him just fucking with me more. “There were apples.”
“Apples? Sitting by the rewards for Taylor and Nina?”
“Kinda?”
“I seriously need to fucking drink more,” he grumbled and then groaned as he stretched out his back.
“Okay, so magical apples. Not from an evil queen?” He groaned again and then scrubbed his face this time.
“Cool. And Derek ate one, could hear Quinn, but you didn’t know that’s what would happen because you experienced something different. ”
I nodded and just told him.
He blinked at me and sighed again. “So it’s something to help you, which you seriously fucking need with all you’re constantly giving or something every person in our world would like give a nut for?”
“The women don’t have that, and I’m not sure the men would depending on how long it lasts,” I mumbled.
Winter snorted. “Even if it’s a day, I would.
” He nodded. “To talk to Teddy? Yeah, Bev. I’d give one for that.
Twenty-four hours to talk to him for real?
About everything we’ve been through and hear him for real?
One nut? Take it.” He did a double take and winced, reaching for my face and wiping my cheek. “Sorry.”
I sniffled and looked down as I saw the tear on his thumb. “Now you get it.”
“Yeah, that’s… They’re really fucking with you. Gift, my ass.”
I snorted and then finally said what had been weighing on me. “Nina really scared me.”
“I know.”
“I’m scared that’s in Sergey too.”
“That’s fair.”
I looked at him. “Is it?”
He let out a heavy breath and rubbed my hands.
“Yeah, because it is in him. It’s in all of us.
It’s in me.” He nodded when I flinched. “It’s in you too, Bev.
Maybe buried deep down, but there’s something that could make you turn dark like that.
Not on someone who didn’t deserve it, but in that moment, Nina didn’t see you as Bev. She saw you as the enemy.”
I swallowed loudly and looked back down at our hands. “Like I started to see Link when—after what happened with Conrad Hanson. Worried he could be. Yeah, trauma does that.”
“Yeah.”
He pulled me closer and kissed my hair. “I’m not going to lie that I don’t want one of those apples, but I’m glad you and Derek put them in a time-out.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, absolutely. We’ve got piles of shit all over and they can wait.
Really, they can, Bev.” He kissed my temple this time.
“You give me—all of us so much just by telling us what they say and people are already being so selfish with you. Leave it alone for now. Use the ones you took to recharge you.”
“That’s me being selfish then.”
“Naw, not when you do so much for everyone else. It’s really not.
” He let out another heavy breath. “I know what it’s like to never really get sleep.
Always one eye open and never feel truly safe.
It took me years to finally feel like I caught up on my…
Sleep debt, I think they call it? Whatever it is, and I’m not sure I did with how hard school is. Sometimes I wonder if you can.”
“I wonder if the apples can give you that too if that’s what you’d need?” I muttered. “Maybe it’s more—”
“Nope, leave it alone, little sexy,” he chuckled and made us stand. “Today is about the fun.”
“It’s about the fun,” I agreed.
“I’m cute. Tell me I’m cute. More, more,” someone yelled, and I smothered a laugh in his chest.
“You are so, so cute,” I told the otter begging for attention. “The cutest there ever was. Clap for me, cutie.” I froze and so did everyone around us when he did.
“Wow, do they train these guys?” Winter asked as he joined me. “That’s wild! That’s gotta be a command? Clap cutie?”
“I guess,” I chuckled awkwardly as several other people did, but the otter just kept doing it and begging for more attention. “Or just good timing it seems.”
People laughed it off, but Winter guided me away, both of us smothering our reactions. Then I almost died when some of the puffins were calling the otter an “attention whore.” I told Winter and he leaned in closer.
“They’re not wrong.”
Yeah, I died.
The sea stars were exactly like in Finding Nemo. Not in what was said, but that they were mumbled when they were pressed against the glass. I told Winter that and he said we had to watch the movie that night while eating sushi and I died all over again. He was so funny.
“What’s wrong?” he asked when we stopped at another viewing area.
“The octopus is very flirty,” I mumbled.
“You are pretty, little sexy.”
I gave him a dry look. “You are her type, handsome.” I nodded when he raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah. She wants to wrap all around you and I need to get my ho ass away from you.”
He pressed his lips together and moved his arm over my shoulders. “Never a dull moment.”
We went for a bit longer, but then it was too overwhelming and Winter noticed before I could even say anything. He said he was starving and we should get going, checking out their annual passes or whatever. We reached the main atrium and he glanced around to see the restaurant they had.
“It really is a missed opportunity that they don’t have a sushi place here,” he said seriously.
I smothered a laugh at the dozens of people who gave him horrified looks, a few pulling their kids away from him. I gestured to those people. “Okay, that’s a bit much. There are seafood restaurants all along waterfronts after you go whale watching or snorkeling.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed. “You get me.”
“I do, Sir Winter.” I stood on my toes. “Let’s get you some sushi before you wither.”
He gave me a quick peck. “I did walk a lot of steps.” He looked happy with that comment when I snorted.
“I hope you can make it because I can’t carry you.” I won that round because he burst out laughing.
He brought me to the place he liked best and we ordered what was probably way too much, but Teddy was staying at my house anyways over break so he could have some treats.
Most of his friends’ large familiars were just because it was easier for them and they were mostly working for us over break anyways.
Plus, I loved having Teddy around. He was always amazing.
“I want to text Derek and ask how it’s going, but he doesn’t know I know,” Winter muttered while we waited for them to put together our huge order.
He did a double take at whatever was on my face.
“Not like—Bev, he might need to talk to someone. I’d kinda be like ready to explode.
Happy but like bursting? Having to keep things quiet is hard. ”
I raised an eyebrow that was dripping with sarcasm and he snorted. No kidding I understood that.
But he was right and I decided to text.
Me: Just checking in.
Me: Actually, I kinda told Winter. He kinda figured out some of it and I told him some of it and he was worried about you so he wanted to call and that made me think to check in.
Wyatt: Is he being pushy? Are you okay?
“Dumbass,” Winter grumbled from over my shoulder. “Doesn’t know how to let anyone worry about him.” He took my phone and typed out a message saying we were getting food and we were going to call him on speaker once we were home. And not to be stupid because Winter would never do that.
Me: For the record, that was Winter.
Wyatt: I figured.
He added an eye-rolling emoji that made me snicker.
It took both of us to carry the bags of food and then we went out to the glamping area but off to the side because some other people were there too. I texted that we were ready but reception might be spotty because of where we were.
He appeared and Winter looked like he should have expected it, but I froze, more worried about seeing Quinn and what to do.
“Bevin, Bevin, it’s been so much fun,” Quinn said excitedly. “And we’re still getting to talk. Isn’t that cool?”
“Yeah, glad you’re having fun,” I whispered, dread running over me. “And you’re appreciating the time you have to do it.”
He quickly nodded. “I am, but Derek and I talked and we realized that it’s better we can’t all of the time.”
“What?” I breathed, my heart beating too loudly.
“Yeah, because it would be dangerous for me,” he said firmly.
“Derek too. Look how everyone tries to hurt and take you, but part of what protects you is that you don’t have a familiar.
If you had one, they could use that familiar to hurt you.
I could be used to hurt Derek. Plus, then we would just talk to each other.
“I’ve had a lot of fun talking with other familiars because you encourage it.
That makes Derek stronger. I get to go to class now and that’s fun.
But we’d make a mistake. We would. And he wouldn’t go out with his friends as often and he needs that.
And you’ve even said we have a really strong relationship.