Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
VIX - TWO MONTHS AFTER THE ACCIDENT
I take the last drag of my cigarette, inhaling the toxic chemicals that fill my lungs with smoke.
I exhale and crush the bud into the curb outside of Booths.
The alcohol coursing through my system has my entire world turning on its axis.
Will that stop me from having another drink?
Not a fucking chance. I feel a chill course through my body, and I welcome the sensation.
It’s been over two months since I’ve felt anything but pain and sadness.
One day, I woke up, and everything just became…
numb. No more feeling, no more hurting, no more anger.
Just nothing. I’ve started smoking, I consume more liquor than I do food, and I alienate myself from everyone around me.
I’m still here, though. Unfortunately, I’m here, and Aussy is gone.
“We can’t just leave her alone here,” Leah mumbles near the entrance to Booths. “She’s going to end up shit faced in a back alley somewhere,” she exaggerates.
“I know we can’t leave her alone, that’s why I called you here. This is the third night this week I’ve found her like this. I thought you could help me get her out of here. She won’t listen to a word I say,” Kash replies. I roll my eyes and sigh.
“I can hear you, guys. Don’t act like I’m not right here. I’m just having fun. Do you remember what that is? F-U-N?” I scowl, still sitting on the curb, flicking the lighter over and over again.
“Well then, if you can hear us, let’s get your ass up off this curb and get you home before someone thinks you’ve had too much fun tonight and gets the wrong idea about you out here alone,” Kash demands.
“I can take care of myself, Kash. You’re the one who said I should get out more. You’re the one who said I couldn’t live my life hiding away in the shadows while the rest of the world goes on. Remember? So leave me alone.” I brush him off, stumbling to my feet, poorly trying to find my bearings.
“Vix, just come back to the rooms with us, please! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” Leah pleads. The pain on her face from seeing me in this state would have had the girl I was two months ago apologizing for scaring my friends. But that girl died with Austin.
“Don’t you worry your—hiccup—pretty little face,” I tell her as I brush my fingers down her cheek, a smile on my face that doesn’t even come close to meeting my eyes.
I turn to go back inside and grab the door handle.
“One of these guys will get me home just fine!” I try gesturing towards the crowd of men ogling some women at the bar, but lose my footing in my intoxicated state and see the pavement moving towards my face.
Just before I make impact, Kash catches me from behind my arms, hoisting me back up into a standing position. I giggle, turning around to throw my arms around Kash’s neck.
“My hero!” Kash scowls, and his eyes flicker from concern to pure rage.
“Fuck this shit,” he growls and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder.
“HEY, put me down, Kashhole!” I shout and then giggle to myself at his new nickname. Kash grips my legs tighter and shushes me.
“I’m taking her home. Sleep in my room tonight.
I’m going to make sure she fucking sleeps, and I’ll call you in the morning,” he says to Leah.
I can’t see her face from this angle, but I can hear her mumble her goodbyes.
I lift my body from Kash’s back to look in Leah’s direction and give her a small wave with a smile on my face.
She shakes her head in disappointment and walks back into the pub.
KASH
I lower Vix onto her bed, gently laying her head down on her pillow.
At some point on our walk from the pub to the dorms, she fell asleep while I carried her strung out over my shoulder.
She keeps doing this, drinking herself stupid, getting high, sleeping all day and skipping her classes.
I haven’t seen her eat anything I’ve brought to her room, and I know she doesn’t leave unless she has no choice.
Losing Austin was the worst thing to ever happen to her.
It’s like a part of herself died along with Austin, and we’ve been fighting to get her back ever since.
I sit on the side of her bed, watching her breathe softly as she sleeps.
I sweep a stray strand of hair that has fallen over her brow, and she stirs slightly at my touch, leaning her face into my hand. I freeze, not wanting to wake her.
My feelings, while they’ve always been there, are something I’ve always pushed down deep inside.
Aus confronted me about it, but I told him I would never act on it and that the feelings would pass.
For a moment, I thought we could be something, even when Austin was here.
We would make it work, the two of us, safeguarding a piece of her heart.
But I know now more than ever that her heart belonged to him.
He was my best friend, and I could never compete with what they had.
I pull the covers over her slumbering body. I will never give up on her, and I will fight like hell to save her from herself. He wouldn’t want her going on like this. I have to get through to her.
I decide then and there that I’ll stop at nothing to bring her back to us. If not just for my stubborn little Gremlin, then for Austin.