Chapter Twenty
CHAPTER TWENTY
MAC
I ’m really looking forward to seeing Vivian tonight. After my conversation with Katie, I realize there’s so much I want to tell her—things I hadn’t fully processed until now. I also want to address the things Vivian heard me say at that Christmas party.
On top of that, my call with my agent has my mind spinning. The season hasn’t even started, and already I can see how packed my schedule is going to be. The offers are pouring in—endorsements and appearances in addition to my team commitments. I joked about it with Vivian earlier, but I am in high demand both individually and with the team. These opportunities come with the job, and a full schedule will make managing the distance even more challenging.
I’ve spent the entire afternoon trying to work through a solution to how this can work, assuming this is something Vivian and I both want to continue to pursue. The more I think about it, the clearer it becomes—this isn’t just some passing thing for me or a challenge to conquer like Kyle assumed. Vivian is someone I want in my life .
Of course, making it work won’t be easy. There are so many moving parts—schedules, obligations, expectations. But I’ve seen teammates manage relationships with similar circumstances, and I know it’s possible. The question is, how do we do it in a way that neither of us are abandoning the lives we’ve built for ourselves. I don’t have all the answers yet, which is why I want to talk to her.
Vivian is already seated at Casa when I arrive. The moment my eyes land on her, a surge of emotions rush through me—excitement and nervousness. She’s so pretty—I can’t help but stare for a few seconds.
She looks up as I approach, a smile forming on her lips.
“Hey,” I say, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. The scent of her perfume reaches my nose, and I breathe it in. “Thanks for meeting me tonight.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” she replies, folding her hands and placing them on the table.
The last time I saw Vivian here, I was with another woman, and I spent the entire evening thinking about her. I never imagined the next time I came to this restaurant, it would be together.
I slide into the bench across from her and let out a sigh. Just being here with her gives me a feeling of peace.
“How’s everything at work?”
“Fine. Busy as usual,” she says. “And then my day ended with a call from my sister, which is always fun. She wants to reschedule her meet and greet with this hockey star.
I grin. “Definitely. Set it up, and I’ll be there.”
She fiddles with the straw in her water, twisting it between her fingers. “Alright. And I did tell her we were…hanging out.”
Hanging out? The way she says it makes it sound so casual, like we’re just two old friends catching up over drinks. Is that what she thinks this is? Maybe she’s intentionally being cautious, and I can’t fault her for that.
“Oh?” I ask. “And what was her reaction?”
She shrugs. “Surprised…and probably a little jealous.”
I let out a low chuckle. “Jealous, huh?”
“Yeah. When she initially asked me about you, her two key points were that you were attractive and single.” she says. “I don’t think she expected us to?—”
I watch her carefully, waiting for her to continue. Instead, she changes the subject. “I sent Katie a text earlier. I’m wondering if she’s had a chance to talk to Kyle yet.”
I lean back in my chair, exhaling slowly. “I still haven’t heard from him, so I’m hoping not.”
Vivian gives me a reassuring smile. “It’ll all be okay. Katie will make sure of it.”
I wish I shared her confidence. I clear my throat, shifting in my seat. “Talking to Katie gave me a lot to think about. It really opened my eyes.”
She tilts her head slightly. “How so?”
“Well, like I told you, she had plenty of warnings for me,” I say. “She didn’t hold back and basically implied she’d disown me if I hurt you.”
Vivian nods slowly. I can tell she’s not the least bit surprised by this.
“She also brought up the fact that I’m leaving again once the season starts,” I continue carefully, watching her expression. “I know we’ve touched on it before, but it’s been weighing on my mind more than I expected.”
She presses her lips together, her gaze dropping for a moment. She doesn’t respond, so I keep talking.
“There’s still time before that happens,” I add. “But I think it’s better to talk about it now rather than wait. I don’t want to pretend this isn’t something we’ll have to face. And maybe…it’ll be easier if we go back to our friends with clarity instead of uncertainty when they ask questions.”
Vivian exhales softly and meets my eyes. “I agree.”
I lean forward slightly, lowering my voice. “The truth is, I enjoy spending time with you more than I ever expected. Every moment I’m with you, it gets more intense for me…and impossible to ignore.” I pause, letting the words settle. “Honestly, I don’t even want to think about leaving—but I have to.”
Her lips part as if she’s about to say something, but instead, she simply holds my gaze for a few seconds.
“Of course you do,” she replies, her voice steady but soft. “And avoiding the subject isn’t going to change it.”
I clear my throat. “Exactly.”
A strange distance has formed between us, one that seems to be growing by the second. It’s like we’re both putting up walls. The worst part—is I don’t want to have walls between us, but maybe it’s necessary. Maybe it’s the only way to stop us from getting in too deep, forgetting what’s ahead.
“Your focus needs to be on your career,” she says, her tone turning firmer. “You have a team—your family—who depend on you. The last thing I want is to interfere with that.”
I reach across the table, taking her hands in mine, holding on tighter than I probably should. “You wouldn’t be interfering. I don’t have to choose between hockey and…this.”
She doesn’t pull away, but I can almost see the wheels turning in her head. “I know—that’s why I’m choosing for you.”
Wait—what?
I blink as I try to process what she just said .
She exhales sharply and continues. “I know myself, Mac, and I know how this will end. It’s going to be too difficult watching you leave in a few months. And I don’t want to be the reason there’s a wedge between you and Kyle.” She pauses as if she’s trying to find strength. “So, it’s probably better if we’re just friends.”
Her words hit hard.
“Vivian—that’s not—” I stop myself because I can already see it in her expression. She’s made up her mind.
Maybe she’s trying to protect herself. And I can’t blame her. I’ve been struggling with the same thoughts—the uncertainty of distance, the demands of my career, the distractions. But that doesn’t mean I want this. Just friends? It sounds so final.
I swallow the lumps that’s formed in my throat.“I understand. And I respect you so much for being honest.”
She forces a smile, nodding as if she’s reassuring herself. “I’m glad we’ve been able to get to this point.”
She has no idea. That’s why I want to resist and fight her on this, but I hold back.
“So am I.” I look down, exhaling deeply before I continue. “You’re incredible, Vivian. And anyone who’s ever said differently is wrong.” I pause. “I’m so sorry about what I said at the Thomason’s Christmas party.”
Her eyes widen. “Did Katie?—”
I nod quickly. “I don’t remember everything I said to the guys that night, but I know it hurt you. And that’s all that matters. I’m truly sorry.”
Her expression softens, and her eyes have turned glossy. Ugh. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it if she cries.
“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot.”
The server appears at our table, but I wave him off, asking for a few more minutes .
Vivian fidgets with her napkin before lifting her gaze to meet mine. “Um, is it okay if we do this another night? I think I need some time to process.”
My stomach twists, but I manage a nod. “Of course. Don’t worry.”
She stands, and for a brief second I think she’s going to say something else—maybe she’s having second thoughts. But instead she just offers a small, sad smile.
“I’m really glad we’re friends, Mac.”
Friends.
The word feels like a punch to the gut. It’s not what I want. But it’s better than nothing, right?
I force myself to nod. “Me too.”
She hesitates for a second before turning to leave, and I watch her walk away. It’s taking all my strength not to chase after her and pull her into my arms, never letting go.
But I don’t.
Maybe things are happening the way they’re supposed to, and this is the only way to keep us both from getting hurt. As difficult as this is, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Otherwise I might never know how amazing she is and what I was missing without her in my life.
When I finally pull into the driveway, I sit in the car for a few minutes. I’d driven around aimlessly for a while, trying to clear my head, but all I did was replay the conversation Vivian and I had.
I sigh and then finally turn off the engine. Instead of going to the apartment, I head into the main house.
“Hey, guys,” I say, popping my head into the family room. My dad is in his chair watching a baseball game, and Mom is curled up on the couch with a book.
My mom looks up immediately, giving me a curious look. I can already feel her assessing me with her superhuman mom-vision.
I shift on my feet. “Um, I just saw Vivian, and we decided to just stay friends—you know, since I’m leaving. It would just be too hard.”
This gets my mother’s full attention. She exchanges a quick glance with my dad. They’ve gotten good at those silent parental conversations over the years.
Dad is the first to break the silence. “I’m sorry to hear that, kid.” His voice is steady and neutral.
Mom closes her book, her expression soft but knowing. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I hesitate then sigh and drop onto the couch next to her. “I don’t know.”
And that’s the truth. I don’t know how to explain what’s going on inside my head. I don’t know why I feel like I’m being pulled in two completely different directions—one that says this is the right choice and another that’s screaming at me to fight for her.
I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, rubbing a hand over my forehead. “She took the lead, and I felt like I should respect her decision. I don’t want to make things hard on her, and my career is a lot to deal with.”
Mom nods thoughtfully. “I’m sure she appreciated that.” She pauses and tilts her head. “But how do you feel about it?”
I clench my jaw.
“Disappointed,” I finally admit, my voice lower than before.
This feels like an understatement, but it’s the first word that popped into my head. I’m disappointed I didn’t have the right words to change her mind. And even more disappointed I let her walk out of the restaurant.
Mom places her hand on my arm, her touch is very comforting. “That’s understandable. You know the right thing and the easy thing are almost never the same.”
Dad nods in agreement. “And sometimes, the hardest decisions are the ones that make the most sense.”
I want to believe that. But this feels wrong even though I know time heals everything and—blah, blah.
“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what’s happening,” I tell them.
“We’re always here if you need us,” Mom reminds me.
“Thanks for listening,” I tell them.
My mom wraps her small arms tightly around me, and my dad holds up his hand to shake mine.
Talking to my parents makes me feel a bit better. I’m very lucky to have them.