Forty-Seven | Jo
Forty-Seven
Jo
I gently pushed the chair back and stood up, staring in disbelief as Kaitlyn slowly walked toward me. She looked from me to Dr. Easton, then back again as she tilted her head to the side.
“Hi,” I said quietly, unsure of what to say or do.
I never in a million years thought I would ever see my daughter again, and now she was standing in front of me as we processed what was happening.
“Is it really you?” she whispered, setting her purse down on the table while refusing to take her eyes off me.
“You know who I am?” I choked out, the pressure of the moment weighing on me.
This was the day I had dreamt about since the second I walked out the doors and never looked back.
She nodded and then looked to Dr. Easton as more tears filled her eyes.
I wiped my cheeks with the palms of my hands, clearing the tears.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know...” I looked at Dr. Easton, unsure of what to say.
“I adopted Kaitlyn when she was a baby and took care of her from the second I saw you walk out the door. But never once, in all those years, have I ever kept the truth from her. She knew that her mother wasn’t able to take care of her, and that’s why she left her here.
We’ve both prayed very hard over the years that someday her mama would come looking for her. ”
My bottom lip trembled as I looked at Kaitlyn, her beautiful face a mixture of hope and sadness that matched mine.
“I’ve never stopped thinking about you,” I said as a sob escaped. “I wanted you from the second I found out about you. I wanted to give you the best life, even if that wasn’t with me.”
Kaitlyn nodded and swallowed hard as tears fell down her face.
“Kaitlyn, why don’t you grab some cookies, and we’ll go to my office so the two of you can talk in private,” Dr. Easton said.
I looked down at Dom, feeling bad for leaving him, but he waved me off and kissed my hand.
“Take all the time you need,” he said. “We’re not in a hurry.”
Keith nodded when I looked at him and Ashley, wondering how I had gotten so lucky to have this kind of support.
I followed Dr. Easton and Kaitlyn to a room in the back of the clinic and sat in one of the plush chairs in the corner. Kaitlyn took the one beside me and set the cookies on the table between us.
“I’ll give you two some time,” Dr. Easton said. “Come find me if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” I replied, wondering why she trusted me so much to leave me alone with the child I had abandoned all those years ago.
Dr. Easton walked out, pulling the door closed behind her. We sat there in silence for a few seconds before Kaitlyn broke the ice by talking first.
“I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“I can’t believe it either,” I admitted. “I also can’t believe how grown up you are. I know how long it’s been, but I swear, it feels like just yesterday when I had you.”
Kaitlyn leaned forward and picked at her nails before looking at me.
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.
“Of course. Whatever you want to know.”
She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“What happened with my dad? I know that Mimi—I mean, Dr. Easton, said that you came in that night by yourself, but I’ve always wondered about my dad.”
I nodded slowly and leaned back in my seat.
“Your dad was one of the most incredible people I've ever known. We met in high school, became friends, and then started dating. I was convinced that he was the love of my life and that we were going to get married and have a dozen kids,” I replied, laughing as I remembered all of the diary entries where I wrote about it.
Kaitlyn smiled as she listened.
“Unfortunately, my dad died unexpectedly, and I was forced to move in with my uncle,” I continued, tugging at the bottom of my hoodie.
“I was forced to break up with your dad, and after I moved, I didn’t know how to get in contact with him.
My uncle wasn’t a nice man, so I didn’t have access to many of the things kids my age did.
A friend of mine looked your dad up on the drive out here, but there wasn’t much on him.
He’s still working on trying to locate him. ”
“Did my dad know you were pregnant?”
“No. I didn’t know I was pregnant until a few months after I moved in with my uncle.”
Her shoulders fell, and I knew that while it wasn’t the story she had wanted to hear, it was important for her to know the truth about where she came from.
“I wish that your dad could have been there because I know he would have been an amazing father. I always regretted not finding a way to tell him.”
“Did your uncle know you were pregnant?”
I shook my head, feeling like I was ruining any positive expectations she might have been holding onto about where she came from.
“No. No one knew. I kept it a secret from everyone because I knew that my uncle would force me to terminate the pregnancy. He didn’t want to take care of me to begin with, let alone a baby.”
“How did you know it would be safe to come here?”
“I didn’t,” I admitted. “I was so young that I didn’t know much about babies or pregnancy, but I knew that something was wrong when I kept getting stomach pain.
I didn’t want to risk having you and my uncle finding out, so I snuck out and got a ride with this elderly couple.
I didn’t care where they were going, as long as they took me with them.
This was the first town they stopped in, and thankfully, they dropped me off right in front of the clinic. ”
“Did you ever think about coming to find me after you left me?”
“Every single day.”
She nodded, letting the tears roll down her cheeks.
“My life hasn’t always been great,” I said softly.
“I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me over the years, and a lot of really bad people who have tried to hurt me.
I’ve stayed away from you because I didn’t want to risk anyone finding out about you.
If no one knew, no one could hurt you because of me.
It would have been far too dangerous to risk trying to find you. ”
“Are you safe now? Is that why you’re here?”
I pressed my lips together because I wanted to assure her that it was safe, but the problem was that it wasn’t. As long as Tray was alive, I would never be safe.
“I’m as safe as I can be,” I answered. “The friends who brought me here today are super protective and will do everything in their power to keep me safe.”
She looked around the room, then at me, her blue eyes the same color and shape as mine.
“What happens now?” she asked, an edge to her tone. “Now that you’ve found me, are you going to leave again?”
“I don’t know what happens now. Eventually, yes, I will have to leave and go home.”
Her head bounced up and down as she nodded, her jaw clenched as she looked away.
I leaned forward to look at her and gently placed my hand on her knee to get her attention.
“Just because I have to go home doesn’t mean I’m leaving you again, Kaitlyn. I am here and ready to be as big a part of your life as you’ll allow me to be. I don’t know what the future looks like, but I know that I will do whatever it takes to be part of yours.”