Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
I wouldn’t call it a clearing, so much as slightly flattened ground with no sudden death drops in the immediate vicinity. I spin around, rolling my shoulders. I’m far too tense, like a too-tightly-wound string instrument.
Riley isn’t far behind and is removing his leathers and tunic, revealing his bare chest. An unnecessary distraction that I cannot fully appreciate. But I do catch a glimpse of his scars, and my heart and stomach temporarily swap places. This enrages me further, and I’m vibrating with the fury I need to unleash.
The rest of the group has taken up positions among the trees to spectate. Beans is standing on the edge of the clearing with his arms crossed, possibly ready to step in if it gets too violent or out of control. To be fair, he did just learn that I’m the Silent Assassin. Fuck.
Not giving Riley any more time to undress, I launch myself at him with the frenzied wrath I wish I could aim at Jaena.
Jaena. The lying, betraying, deceiving, cozen piece of Gifted shit.
I swing a fist, but he blocks, trying to land an uppercut in my stomach before I parry out of the way. Riley cracks his neck and then begins to cautiously walk toward me, fists up.
Spinning with a jump, I connect my heel to the back of his head before he has a chance to deflect.I’m a fraction too slow and cop his fist to the side of my face. He’s tempering his blows which only makes my rage soar.
“Fight me properly!” I scream.
The fight is similar to the night he was unwell in Nemoris and we fought blow for blow, yet where that was about movement, this is about violence.
They know I am the Silent Assassin.
My reputation is known across the world.
I’ve had people spit at me when they put a face to the name.
He lands another tempered blow, a kick to my thigh, and I scream with all the rage in my chest. A flurry of my punches and kicks land before his elbow smashes squarely into my top lip. I spin and kick him again, hard , and he stumbles into a tree.
Revs. Revolutions, I have accepted being the hated one, the feared one. A cautionary tale for some, and a novelty to others. I haven’t fucked anyone since my coming-of-age, and I moved into my own apartment. After the second time a man announced while doing his trousers back up, that his friends won’t believe he bedded the Silent Assassin, I was done. They stopped trying after it got around I cut off someone’s balls. It didn’t happen. I started that rumor myself.
Tasting blood, I launch myself in the air to use the trunk of the tree as a springboard. Kicking off and reaching for the lowest hanging branch, I swing myself onto his shoulders. Cutting off his air with my legs while still gripping the branch, Riley becomes a deadweight too heavy for me. Unable to unwind myself fast enough, I land on the ground with him.
A group of three men were stupid enough to think they should “teach me a lesson” a couple of revolutions before I spread the rumor. I let them get close enough that they thought they had me, my wrists held behind my back by two of them. I could’ve gotten away from them easily, long before then, and not let it get to that point…I didn’t need to resort to the measures I took.
But I wanted them to try.
As the man who wasn’t holding me unbuckled his pants, I attacked. It wasn’t slow enough to be wholly cruel, but I made sure they knew their painful deaths were coming. And that I had planned it all along. Three murders that wouldn’t be linked to the Silent Assassin.
Riley punches me in the ribs as I try to roll away from him quickly, the full force knocking the air out of me but giving me momentum to wrap my legs around his arm. I pull tightly, knowing this will be the end because his arm will break if he doesn’t concede. He taps my leg with his hand calling his defeat.
I release Riley’s arm but we both don’t move from our tangled position. His arm is still resting between my legs, while my left leg is draped over his chest. He starts to shake. Worried I’ve hit him in the head too hard and he’s seizing, I scramble to sit up over him.
He’s laughing. A breathless, throaty laugh with a sparkle in his forest green eyes. I’m still hovering over him, kneeling on one side of his ribs while crouched on my foot on the other. His laughter has me mesmerized until a drop of blood from my lip or nose splashes onto his cheek and surprises us both.
He thumbs my blood off his skin in a sweep and then reaches up to my face to wipe it gently onto my cheek. His warm hand brushes my ear as he lingers, one finger tracing over the shell of my ear.
“You can have that back, Firecat,” he whispers, looking at me with something I don’t understand. It looks affectionate. His touch feels affectionate.
I’m not falling for this again. I stand abruptly, growling. I spin around to stalk off, nearly running into the other three.
“All good?” Beans asks with raised eyebrows and concern crinkling around his eyes.
“I’m going down to the water,” is all I manage to croak out, before taking off at a sprint in the direction of the creek.
I’m crashing through the trees and uneven ground, picking up pace. I’m trying to outrun the cacophony of sound in my chest, and I need to go faster to do that. I’m launching myself over the giant cracks in the earth and dead trees felled by the constantly shifting ground.
It only takes one careless foot placement, and I’m thrown sideways, my hip smashing into a log as I tip over it. My body flips and I land on my back with one leg hanging over the log, reminding me of how it hung over Riley’s chest only moments before.
I’m heaving, trying to catch my breath, but it’s proving impossible. Especially as angry tears sting my eyes. I’m gulping in air trying to stop myself—I will not let the first time I cry in almost two decades be because of this.
“If you can hear me, Bitty. Please don’t say anything. I’m fine. Just let me be,” I choke out between gasping, tearful breaths.
Fairly sure that I’m no longer going to cry, I drape my arm over my eyes and lay there, the creek forgotten. I’ve never let anyone get under my skin the way I’ve let this group. The way I’ve let Riley. Yet I’m constantly surprised by it. A sure sign of insanity.
I hate him .
I’m going over every meaningful interaction I’ve had with the four of them, needing to reanalyze it with the new knowledge that they had no idea who I really was. My rage thunders in my chest all the way down to my stomach, making me nauseous. Every secret they trusted me with, every moment of laughter and affection, all based on the wrong truth. I didn’t lie, but rage gets stuck in my throat as if I did.
“Are you dead?” Tovi asks in her typical disinterested voice. I didn’t even hear her approach—she sure is light on her feet for a woman of six-foot.
“Napping,” I reply curtly as I shift my arm so I can make out her leaning against a tree by my leg. She plonks herself heavily onto the log my other leg is resting over, leaning back against the tree again.
She’s looking out toward the direction of the water, her beautiful violet eyes scanning the horizon. Her face is calm, not as rigid and harsh as when I first met her. A slight softness in her features contrasts with her disinterested tone. “That was quite a show. The outburst, not the fight.”
“I’m here for your entertainment, Tovi.”
“At least your sarcasm isn’t broken. Your face might be, though.”
We sit in silence for a couple of minutes. Is she making sure I don’t run away?
“So, you really thought we knew?” she asks, to which I gesture with my free hand to indicate I know I’m an idiot. “You should get laid,” she adds.
I lift my arm completely away from my face and push myself up, so I can glare at her. “What, and why?”
“Releases tension, and you are… tense .”
“Thanks for the advice. I’ll make sure to ask one of the many suitors lining up.”
“I’d suggest Riley, he’s usually good for a quick release . But he seems to have gone off sex,” she says, frowning in what looks like confusion.
I squint at her, not sure if this is a game or if she’s actually trying to make me feel better. Did Riley tell her what happened between us? Maybe she picked up on it. I groan internally at the thought. “I wouldn’t sleep with him anyway.” I plop back down and cover my eyes with my arm again.
“I’ll ask him for you!” she chirps as she jumps up, kicks my foot so my leg falls heavily off the log, and starts trotting away.
Sitting up so quickly that my head spins, I yell after her. “Don’t you fucking dare, Tovi!”
“Daddy Beans then, Firecat?” she sing-songs as she spins and takes off running back toward camp.
“Bitch better not,” I grumble to myself.
Since I’m already sitting up, I get all the way up and head for the water. Hoping I’m not going to have another surprise visitor, I strip off completely and get in. The creek is shallow, but I can almost submerge my whole body if I crouch.
I didn’t exactly plan this, so I wash as best I can without soap. I spot a small tree of ritha nuts not far on the other side of the creek. Deciding it’s worth the naked dash, I retrieve a couple, along with a large kakahu leaf I spot on the way back. As I get back to the water, I hear a twig snap. I crouch down into the water.
“Tovi?” I call out.
There is no answer and no further noises, so I assume it was an animal. I create some soapy suds with my ritha nuts and use the kakahu leaf as a cloth. I wash my hair too, even though I only washed it last night. The ritha nuts leave me smelling like the forest—nutty, citrusy, and with a hint of honey sweetness .
Satisfied I’m no longer filthy and splattered with blood, I get out. Of course, it’s not until now that I realize I have nothing clean to dry myself with. I use my shirt to dry off as best I can and don’t bother putting it back on, the leathers will cover enough.
I get back as the sun sets after collecting more of the ritha nuts. Bitty, Tovi and Beans, are all laying on their bedrolls. Riley must be on watch. A plate of food has been left for me, but I can’t stomach a meal right now. I hang my wet shirt over a branch to dry. Digging in my pack, I pull out my little black bag with my sneak stuff in it; a staggering reminder of my legacy and who I am.
Once an assassin, always an assassin.
Digging further, I find a dry tunic and my thinner travel pants to wear, as it’s far too warm tonight for much else. The sun sets so late in Erdu that I’d forgotten it’s probably well into the evening by now. I settle into my bedroll.
Bitty is already asleep. Beans and Tovi are still awake, both on their backs with one arm under their heads and staring up at the sky. Knowing I’m on last watch tonight, I’m eager to get as much sleep as possible. I close my eyes. And lie there. Awake. I hear the soft snores of Tovi as she also succumbs to sleep. While I remain awake.
I sit up, opting to stretch a bit to see if that helps. Beans’ violet eyes catch mine as he also lays awake. “You okay, Mika?”
“I’m sorry, Beans. I thought you knew.”
“Why are you sorry? Seems to me like we got ourselves a better deal than we realized.” I open my mouth to protest, a frown pulling at my brow, but he continues in his hushed voice. “Mika, if it wasn’t for you, those skin traders would have been a lot more difficult to dispatch. Bitty wouldn’t be nearly as good at fighting as they are now. Riley would still be drinking. Tovi…well, Tovi would be ex actly the same.” He laughs softly at his own joke, sitting up.
“That’s not?—”
“And,” he interrupts, “we would have food poisoning or have starved.”
“But—”
“And.” His knowing smirk lifts his mustache. “I would miss you.”
We sit in silence for a second, as I move tentatively to speak, unsure if he will cut me off again. “You wouldn’t miss me. You wouldn’t have known me.” I deflect the kind words but cannot help the warmth that thaws my cold bones.
“Not a single one of us would have it any other way. You’re one of us. Now stop stretching and go to sleep, little one.”
A smirk lifts my lips. “Yes, Daddy Beans.” His responding snort fills me with satisfaction.
I wake with a gulp of air as someone touches my shoulder. Riley is kneeling beside me. The moon has barely moved across the sky; I haven’t been asleep long.
“You were moaning and thrashing about. Good dream?” Riley flirts.
“No.”
The tumble of memories from the dream slowly dissipates like fog in the morning sun, but enough remains for me to know it wasn’t a good dream. My full bladder makes its presence known, and I tell Riley I’m going to go relieve myself. I don’t bother putting my boots on, I’m not going far.
The ground is still warm from the day’s sun, the sandy earth squishing between my toes along with leaf litter and small twigs. I meander a little further than I intended, finding a tree to do my business behind while listening to the soft trickle of the creek nearby.
The creek, which is only about two feet wide and ankle deep in this part, is calming. Moonlight bounces off the tiny ripples as the water cascades over rocks and stones. I crouch to wash my hands and take a few big draughts from my cupped hands.
The ground crunches behind me as I stand up. I whip around toward the noise as a shocking pain explodes at the base of my skull. My body crumbles as I see the feet of at least four men before I hit the ground and darkness closes in.