11. Cash
Cash
Aleks and Leo returned, and the whole pack was buzzing.
They had brought their brother home, and I didn’t realize until I saw the man, who looked an awful lot like Leo but carried himself like a soldier, that I hadn’t actually thought this was real.
I hadn’t been there when Grant had gone to Russia to bring Katya and Aleks back, so maybe it was just the impossible concept of someone from half a world away stepping into the hovel that was our pack land, and not turning around and leaving again immediately.
For me, just moving a couple hours toward civilization for my apprenticeship had been a culture shock.
Or maybe it was seeing them from the edge of the crowd that’d gathered to look at the new wolf and recognizing Viktor as so familiar but so alien at the same time.
The way he stood, he wasn’t as big as Aleks, but it was so rigid and imposing that I thought Viktor might be the more intimidating of the two.
Then there was Leo, who yes, looked a lot like his brother except for the hair and the stature. Leo was taller than either of his brothers, but he was pure light and Viktor was something else.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t trusted what Aleks said—that they were bringing him home. The reality of it just hadn’t clicked as a possibility for me until it happened.
And then the whole pack had wanted a piece of the three of them. They had so many questions, and it was clear even from a distance that Aleks and Leo were exhausted.
The pack even got between Katya and her sons, not thinking about the reuniting family that needed time and space.
The afternoon they returned, I meant to give them all the space they needed, so I was surprised when there was a knock late that evening.
It was quiet but confident, and it was just Pa and me in the little room that served as both his kitchen and dining area.
He didn’t have a proper living room, but there was an old couch we’d found and cleaned against the wall.
Sometimes he’d sit there while it was light out and read.
Most of the pack ignored him as an oddity.
Most of the pack blamed me for why.
Most days, I did too.
I opened the door on Aleks standing there, and I hadn’t been mistaken, thinking he looked tired. There were faint circles around his eyes that rarely appeared on werewolves, and he looked rumpled from traveling.
I’d never been on a plane myself, but they sounded terrible.
He’d been stuck on them for days.
“Hey,” he said to me with a soft smile, like just seeing me was a relief.
My heart thumped hard when my pa’s chair scratched across the floor and he stood up. I turned to see him nodding seriously at Aleks—the kind of nod a man shared with another when he was impressed by him. “Glad to see you got your brother home safe, Aleks.”
“Thank you,” Aleks said to Pa.
I stared up at him, impressed too. Impressed and confused, because he ought to be sleeping, not standing at my door.
My father’s uneven gait headed toward his bedroom, and I realized he meant to give us at least the illusion of privacy. I should invite Aleks in, not make him stand outside like he was unwelcome.
I stepped back from the doorframe. “Do you want to come inside?”
Short and sharp, Aleks nodded.
He walked around me, and I shut the door. When I turned to him again, he took a breath so deep it lifted his shoulders. The next thing I knew, he’d stepped forward, into my space, and both his hands were on my cheeks.
It was intimate. Close. I felt the heat rush under my skin, pooling beneath his surprisingly soft hands.
“You are well?” he asked, frowning. “No trouble?”
I let out an awkward laugh. “No, no trouble. Your mother was nice enough to keep bringing lunch while you were gone, and Evie was my helper. Things were slower while you were away but”—I reached up and squeezed his forearm—“everything’s all right?
Viktor’s safe? You and Leo didn’t have any problems? ”
He shook his head. “No problems.”
His eyes darted toward my father’s closed door. As much as Pa had wanted to provide some privacy, that didn’t really exist among werewolves, and we were both all too aware of that.
Hell, our closest neighbors could probably hear us.
And I—I didn’t know what this was, but there was something swimming in Aleks’s eyes that was too confusing for me to parse in that moment.
It was longing, but also regret, and I didn’t know what to make of it, especially when he dropped his hands and stepped away from me.
“I’m glad,” I said anyway, hoping that the tightness in my voice read as sincerity and not the ache of him pulling away.
He ought to pull away. Ought to keep his distance entirely, really.
So why did it hurt?
I was just lonely. I liked the feel of his hands, soft like any calluses he had were new and he took care of himself.
Most werewolves were prone to physical touch, I just wasn’t used to it because I’d been around humans during my apprenticeship.
Even here, among pack, I wasn’t—well, I wasn’t close to the others like that.
Aleks touching my face . . . it didn’t mean anything.
“Yes, I—” Aleks frowned at me, shifted his weight uncomfortably.
He didn’t go on. Didn’t say anything else.
I couldn’t imagine what there was to say, really.
“You should rest,” I offered. “It’s been a trying few days, but I’m . . . really glad you checked in. And I’m glad your brother is safe. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell me the whole story in the next few days, but you look exhausted.”
Aleks sighed, raking his hand through his hair. “Yes.”
He slumped his shoulders, and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing when I wanted to fix it.
I took a deep breath. “I, uh, missed you . . . ” I swallowed. That felt like too much of a confession. “At—at the site. I . . . um, really am glad you’re home. Really.”
“Yes,” Aleks said, looking at me very seriously. “I am very glad to be home also. Good night, Cash.”
He left, and I didn’t know if he heard my croaked, “Good night.”
I also didn’t know if I’d just given myself fully away.
I didn’t find out the next day, because Aleks wasn’t with Leo at the job site. Instead, Leo had brought his brother.
He was grinning, which was a stark contrast to the blank mask Viktor wore.
“Hey, Cash, this is Viktor. Grant needed Aleks today, and we thought it’d be a good idea for Viktor to get used to the pack, ah, slowly. Gradually? Yes. So since we are over here where Grant is not, it is a good place for Viktor.”
For the first time, I stepped up to Aleks’s other brother and stuck out my hand. It took every ounce of courage I had to hold his eye, but I did. “It’s nice to meet you, Viktor. I appreciate the help.”
Even if his frame was more compact than Aleks’s, he looked plenty strong for the kind of work we had to do. If I could manage, he definitely could.
Viktor stared at me for a moment, so long that I doubted he was going to shake my hand.
But then he reached out. He didn’t shake, just squeezed, and he held my eye with an intensity that didn’t seem unkind, but was staggering nonetheless.
“Great!” Leo announced. “This will be good. Viktor will be a great help, and Cash, you tell us what to do, yes? Just like before.”
Exactly like before, except that Aleks wasn’t there, and something about the idea of him at Grant’s side twisted my guts into knots.