27. Cash
Cash
Evie never showed up at Jax’s home, because she never made it to the Crescent building.
That had to mean that Grant and his goons had caught her, and horror twisted in my already ruined guts about what that might mean.
I’d failed her. I hadn’t kept her safe. She was out there alone.
I had half a mind to ask Jax to send a party out looking for her, but then what? Grant was already knocking on his door.
I hadn’t caught the faintest whiff of Evie’s scent then, which had been something of a relief, but I had smelled Aleks.
His scent stuck out to me—amber and tobacco and warmth—and even if I’d been able to crawl out of bed then, I wouldn’t have done it. I shrank into my pillow and pressed my face into it. I’d have rolled over, but I couldn’t clench the muscles of my abdomen to make it happen.
I’d left him without a word, and for what? He had to be furious, and I’d failed.
At least with him there by Grant’s side, I knew there’d be someone to protect Evie. I just . . . I’d have smelled her, if they’d caught her, so where the hell was she?
Drifting in and out of consciousness, every cogent thought I had only made me feel worse.
When I dreamed, I heard Evie’s screams. I’d never been in the room when Reeve had taken Pa’s leg, but I imagined it now—a butcher’s knife, maybe, or just Reeve’s claws, my Pa gritting his teeth to keep from screaming.
It was all my fault.
I hadn’t gotten Evie away. I hadn’t saved Pa. I’d abandoned everyone I cared about.
If there was no place for me in the pack anymore, why was I holding onto it? I’d get better faster if I let it go, but my whole life was back there, and I couldn’t live with not knowing if the people I loved were all right.
For days, I stared at the ceiling. There was no fucking point to me, and no reason to do anything else.
Then, one late morning, someone came in and pulled back the curtains. Sunlight flooded the room and I squinted against the sudden brightness.
When my eyes adjusted, I found Maia standing at the end of the bed I was occupying, hands on her hips and a smile on her face. “Morning, sunshine.”
“Hi,” I mumbled.
“How do you feel about going for a walk?”
I grimaced.
When we were kids, I’d always liked Maia. We were closer in age than I was to Jax and Seth, but it was more than that. While she was every bit as bold and extroverted as Jax was, it came with a unique warmth that was all her own. She was kind.
I’d been glad when she left, because she deserved better than what she’d get with the Wildwood pack, but I’d missed her fiercely. Jax and the others? Thinking about them just made guilt swell in my stomach, but missing Maia was an ache.
She’d been a good spot in a very bleak place.
Her father had been one of those wolves who disappeared into the woods, so if Reeve had been inclined to punish him for Maia leaving, he never got the chance.
Janice must’ve told her what happened after they’d left, but there were no ghosts that I could see haunting Maia, no dark circles around her eyes, no hesitation.
Right then, sitting in bed already feeling like a failure, Maia’s glow only revealed what a broken mess I really was.
Maybe she could read my mind, but more likely, my scent had changed. Her dark eyebrows pulled down into concerned little curves. “I just thought—”
I met her understanding eyes, lit from within like a campfire, and she fell silent. She would’ve said that it’d be good for me to move a little. We both knew the reason I was still in bed wasn’t any wound I’d sustained or how I was healing.
No, I didn’t feel well. Most of the time, my body ached, and I still had no idea how it was in one piece when I very much felt as if Grant had ripped me apart right at the waist.
But I was healing. Dakota and Prudence had cast their magic, and they’d woven miracles around me to keep me alive. And for what?
Looking into Maia’s round, sweet face, I thought . . . maybe it was for something. Maybe if she could hold herself together, I could too, even when sometimes I didn’t want to and it was fucking hard to try.
Aleks was alive. He’d know where Evie was, and even if I could never go home, I could—I could apologize for leaving him. I could get word to Pa.
I could do more than lay there and rot, even if I wasn’t sure what yet.
With a heaving sigh, I shifted my legs and set my feet on the floor off the side of the bed. “No, you’re right. A walk would be good.”
So I held onto her arm as we shuffled slow circles around the biggest bedroom I’d ever slept in. It wasn’t much, but it was more than nothing, and to get back to the people I cared about, every step mattered.