Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
Colt
Flying into one of the armpits of hell means a long, uncomfortable ride on a military cargo plane. It’s loud, cold, and…unyielding.
My thoughts are unyielding as well.
I broke my promise to the two girls I love most in the world.
Hell, I broke my promise to myself.
When I was in Siberia, I promised myself, fate, and all the gods in every religion that if I got out of there—if I got another chance to be with Briar—I would never leave her again. That my need for her far outweighs my need to right the wrongs in the world.
Yet here I am.
On this fucking plane heading to a remote outstation in the wilderness of Finland, where we can hike to where we believe they’re holding Igor.
If we’re wrong, and there’s a trap waiting for us, we’re all dead.
If we’re right and they outgun us, we’re all dead.
If we’re wrong and there's no one there, I’m going to wish I was dead because I know Igor can’t last much longer.
“You okay?” Landon “Grim” Grimshaw studies my face carefully.
We served together when I was first deployed.
He was my commanding officer then, a big, stand-up guy with a moral code that matches my own and fighting skills like no one I’ve ever seen.
Not even me. When people joke about being able to kill someone twenty-seven ways with one hand tied behind their back? That’s Grim.
He’s six feet four inches of solid muscle, with a short, scruffy beard and piercing dark eyes. Men give him a wide berth, women swarm to him like bees to honey, and bad guys are terrified.
He’s out of the military, working private security for a firm in Vegas, but if anyone could help me get Igor out, it’s Grim.
And just like Dash has always been my sidekick, Elliott “Rage” Rageis is his. I don’t know exactly how long they’ve been friends but even though I’d never met him until today, Grim talked about him enough to make me feel like we’re already friends. Kind of the way I talked about my brothers.
Rage doesn’t truly know me either, but he came because Grim asked. So, I have mad respect for him. I’m also aware of his martial arts training. He’s not a killer so much as a fighter. I watched a video of an MMA fight where he fought and he’s beautiful to watch.
And now the three of us, along with a small group of Navy SEALs, are going in to get Igor.
“Colt?” Grim is still staring at me. “You are definitely not in a good head space. What’s going on?”
“Sorry. I left things a mess back home.”
“How come?”
“I finally got my girl back, found out we had a kid while I was in training, and just bought a ring. I promised her I was done.”
“She understands this is a one-off, doesn’t she?”
“I don’t…” I shake my head. “She does but I promised her I’d never leave her and Frankie again. And yet, I just did.”
There’s a strange, momentary haunted look in Grim’s eyes, as if he’s experienced something similar. Then it’s gone, and he shrugs. “If there’s something more important than this mission, why are you here?”
“I owe him my life. If he hadn’t risked his to get me out of that prison, I’d be dead and I wouldn’t have gotten back to my girl and my kid.”
“That’s fair, but you have to get your head in the game or you’re no good to any of us. Igor needs you focused, and so do the rest of us. You’re the team leader here, Colt. You have to lead.”
“I will!” I snap. Then I close my eyes and take a breath. “Sorry. But I’ve got this. I just—the look in her eyes when I left. She said she wouldn’t give me a third chance. And if I ruined things with us over this, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You’ll figure it out. Lots of people co-parent without being together.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then tell me.”
“She’s my life—my family. Her and Frankie and the boys.”
“You’re talking about Dash and the guys you went to college with.”
“Yeah. And that includes Igor. I mean, he wasn’t as close to us as the others—he barely spoke English then, or at least, he pretended not to. But I recognized a fellow soldier, so I knew there was more to him than met the eye. Now I owe him my life.”
“You don’t,” he says quietly, waiting until I meet his gaze to continue. “He didn’t rescue you in Siberia because he expected some kind of debt of honor. He rescued you because it was the right thing to do and he was in a position to do so. Maybe you’re not in that position this time.”
“I am,” I say firmly. “Because if I don’t, and he dies, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“You can win your girl back if we get Igor out. You can’t replace him if we don’t.”
I nod.
“So, if you want to do that, without getting yourself killed, you need to be all in. This job can’t be done with one foot out the door. You listening to me, marine?”
It’s been a long time since anyone called me that.
“Yes, sir.” I momentarily fall back into the command structure.
But he’s reminded me that I will get myself—and the rest of the team—killed if I don’t focus.
I’m sorry, baby.
I’ll be home soon.
I promise.
“Let’s do this,” I say quietly.
Igor’s body is limp, lifeless, as we load him onto the plane a day later.
But he’s alive.
Barely.
And it’s going to take a lot of medical attention to help him but he’s alive.
Fuck.
I don’t know how anyone could take so much and still survive, but Igor’s one of the toughest men I’ve ever known. Both on and off the ice. As tough as Grim, as deadly as Rage, as sneaky and stealthy as me. He’s the whole damn package.
He mumbles groggily. It’s in Russian but I get the gist of it.
“You’re a crazy motherfucker.”
“Oh, because you were completely sane when you got me out of Siberia?”
“At least you could walk.” His voice is thready, like it’s taking a lot out of him to talk.
“Just rest, buddy. We’ll be at Ramstein in a few hours, and you’ll get help.” We’re not too far from the air base in Germany.
“There better be pretty nurses.” He says that in English and all of us chuckle.
“I’ll try to arrange that.”
One of the SEALs is a medic, so Igor has an IV of antibiotics going, while we try to get him to drink a little water. He smells vile, and I’ve never seen anyone quite so filthy, but he gets a pass. Hopefully, there will be a pretty nurse to give him a sponge bath or five. He deserves that much.
Now that it’s over, I try not to dwell on how close it was.
How they were in the process of moving him, which made it easy to free him but a lot more dangerous.
How they were somehow expecting us and if not for the skills of the SEALs this could have gone very, very wrong.
How doing the right thing was somehow tempered by the danger. By the knowledge that I have someone—multiple people—to go home to, so the risk is no longer worth the reward.
They chose the guy with no family to speak of—at least, not from where they were sitting.
Four guys I went to college with and the sister of one of them don’t count as a “family.” Not to alphabet soup government agencies. But to me, they’re everything. Worth everything. And my last debt is paid. There’s nothing else for me to prove.
I’m going home to my family—and I will beg and grovel until Briar forgives me.
I have pictures of Igor, in case she needs a little nudge in the direction of compassion, because she has that in spades. She’ll be mad for a while, but it’s only been six days. I can’t believe she’d write me off that quickly.
“You’ve got that same pensive scowl on your face you had on the way to Finland," Grim says, kicking my boot.
I chuckle, shaking my head at him.
He took the biggest hit on the team, going toe to toe with the man in charge.
They went over the side of a cliff, rolling and tumbling down hundreds of feet, kicking and fighting.
The other douchebag broke his neck. Grim wound up with a few broken ribs—but he still helped carry Igor through the woods and to the plane.
Still fought off the last two guys who followed us, with a little help from Rage, who ended them with two spectacularly aimed head shots from a gun in each hand.
The exhilaration and adrenaline rush that comes from the danger and excitement is still there, but it’s no longer something I crave. It was there and gone before I had time to enjoy it. Because Igor could still die. Because I don’t know if Briar is going to forgive me.
It wasn’t even a full week.
“Your girl’s going to be pissed, huh?”
“Yeah, but I already bought the ring. She’s going to say yes.”
“The ladies always do fall for your charm,” he says wryly.
“It’s a gift.” I pause. “What about you? You have anyone back home?”
“No time for that,” he grumbles. “My sister has a kid, so I’ll go stay with her while these ribs heal, help with the baby, have a little family time.”
“I’m sure she’s great, but what about your own needs?”
“Sex is easy.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about, dickhead.”
“Grim doesn’t believe in love,” Rage says, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, and you do?” Grim asks him.
Rage shrugs. “Under the right circumstances, sure. I just haven’t met her yet. When I do, I’ll be ready.”
“When you meet the right one, you just know,” I tell Grim.
“Trust me on this. You think that’s some romantic nonsense but it’s true.
I always knew with Briar, but she was initially too young.
Then there was the whole issue of her brother losing his mind at the idea of his sister falling in love. It was always there, though.”
Grim shudders slightly. “Fuck that. Relationships are way too much of a distraction.”
Rage and I laugh.
“It’s not like you’re dating anyone for more than a night or two at a time,” Grim says to Rage.
They go back and forth for a while, but I just close my eyes, letting my thoughts drift away. Drift…home.
It’s Saturday, so I probably won’t get home until tomorrow since we have to stop in Germany first. But then I’ll either catch a military flight heading west or get on a commercial plane because no matter what I have to do, I’m going to be there for Sunday dinner.