Chapter Twenty-Three #2
“I’m sorry again about Darren.” She continues, shoving her hands into her pockets.
“About what he said. About what I said, with the teaching thing. I never meant for it to come out like that.” Her head drops against the pole behind her with a soft thud as her gaze drifts over the camp below.
“I just haven’t been sleeping well, and he’s the only thing I have right now.
I worry about him all the time, that it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens and he doesn’t come back. ”
“It's okay.” My throat tightens and I start picking at the loose wool around the cuffs of my sweater again, not sure if I should say the next thing. “I know you’re not sleeping well, that your dreams have gotten stronger.” She doesn’t look at me, but something in her face stills.
“And I can’t imagine what it feels like, deciding not to enter when some part of you already knows there’s a dragon out there waiting for you. ”
“You’re so brave,” she mumbles. “To enter tomorrow... I wish I could be more like that.”
I choke on a small laugh. “I’m not brave.
I’m terrified. I’ve never been so scared in my life.
The ceremony could go wrong in every possible way.
But with Ahria…” Swallowing, I fix my focus on the moon high above us.
“I don’t know. There are some things you can’t unknow once you’ve felt them, and if I didn’t enter because I was scared, I’d still have to wake up every day knowing I chose that.
Knowing I let fear decide who I am before she even got the chance to. ”
Beside me, Neeve takes a deep inhale, as though she’s about to respond, but then wood creaks beneath us and two recruits appear at the top of the ladder. We give them a quick nod as they climb onto the platform, and we swap out without another word.
“What are you doing here?” Neeve gasps as we drop from the bottom rung of the ladder to find Darren waiting below, his blonde hair bright in the moonlight.
“I thought you wouldn’t be back until morning.
” Her fingers start trailing over him as though she's checking for injuries.
“Did you fly straight here? Nex must be exhausted. You must be exhausted.”
“Nex is fine. I’m fine.” Darren smiles like that should settle it, then wraps his arms around her before she can ask anything else and pulls her close, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “I wanted to see you.”
Holding her there, Neeve’s hands finally settle as she folds into him for a few breaths, then with a slow exhale, she lets go.
“Lyra.” Darren tilts his head in acknowledgement as he turns to me.
“Darren.” I nod back.
“Good luck tomorrow,” he adds.
“Thanks?” I can’t tell if he’s being sincere or passive-aggressive, but whatever shows on my face makes his pale brows lift.
“No, honestly. I mean it.” His gaze flicks toward Ahria perched on the platform behind us, before returning to me.
“You’ve been a good friend to Neeve and the riders would be lucky to have you.
” He gives a small, awkward shrug. “It takes a certain kind of person to walk into Blood Moon knowing what might happen. I respect that.”
“A certain kind of person?” Neeve cuts in, her body going rigid. “Like Lyra but not me?” Creases form around her nose ring as her face twists and she takes a step away from him.
“No... That’s not what I meant.” Darren reaches for her waist.
“But it is.” She knocks his hand away, shaking her head, and I see it then, the hurt landing under her skin and turning into something fierce. “You can respect Lyra for entering. You can call Lyra brave. But when it’s me, suddenly it’s too dangerous. Suddenly I’m being stupid.”
“Neeve, you know why this is different.”
“Why?”
“Because!” His arms fly up to his wavy blonde hair, fingers raking hard through it. “Because I can’t lose you.”
“And yet you’re asking me to lose part of myself?” she fires back.
“What are you doing?” Darren's voice cracks as he watches her twist at the ring on her finger.
She works it free and my mouth falls open as she holds it out to him, the blue stone catching the moonlight between them.
“You can give it back to me tomorrow.” She swallows, squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin at him. “After Blood Moon. After I’m bonded.” Then she looks at me, and whatever she sees there steadies her. “After Lyra and I are riders.”
Glaring at it in disbelief, he doesn’t move, so she reaches for his hand, turns his palm upward, and drops the silver ring into it.
“Neeve,” he breathes. Trying to close the distance between them, he lifts a foot as if to take a step forward but Neeve retreats, raising her hand in a commanding stop, and he freezes in place, mouth parted, eyes wide and fixed on her.
Wind brushes my cheek as a flash of brown flicks through the corner of my vision, and I turn just as Nex glides over the platform.
She lands beside Ahria with a soft scrape of claws against wood, and for one stupid, aching second, fear tangles with the impossible joy that tomorrow, I could be bonded.
Then I turn back.
And the feeling drops out of me so fast my knees almost give.
Darren isn’t looking at Neeve anymore.
He’s staring at me.
Like I put the ring in his hand.
Like I led her here.
The panic remains, raw and wide in his eyes, but something darker has risen beneath it. Fury.
“You.” He seethes.
Oh, shit.