Chapter 1 #2
Since so many years had passed, Maya was no longer sure how much of what she remembered was true and how much she’d simply made up along the way.
If you’d asked her at fourteen whether it was possible to forget her mom and dad, her big brother and little brother, her best friend who lived next door and was more like a sister, her school, and the house she lived in, she would have given an emphatic no.
Then again, how could she ever have foreseen her life would turn out like this?
One moment of distraction while out at the mall with her friend, and her life was effectively over.
Maybe her body was still alive, but her mind was long since fractured.
Broken into a million pieces, all of them too small to put back together. Even if it were possible to put them back together, they wouldn't make the same picture they used to.
How could they?
No longer was she a sweet fourteen-year-old child with big dreams about what her life was going to look like.
She would marry the boy in her class she’d had a crush on since they were nine, and they’d have two children, a boy and a girl.
She was going to be an architect and an artist, that way she could use both her skills, her ability to draw, and her mathematical mind, and she’d live happily ever after.
Reality was nothing like those long-ago dreams.
Faraway sounds caught her attention, but they quickly faded.
Noises held no interest for her. She didn't care what was happening around her so long as she clung to enough consciousness to follow the rules.
Rules were important.
Rules kept you alive.
Obeying them anyway.
Disobeying them led to punishments that were nothing like the ones her parents would give to her and her brothers the few times they acted up.
Being grounded, or having her phone taken away, missing out on dessert, or having to go to bed early, those things were nothing, they were easy, not painful in the least.
The punishments she’d been given after were the things of nightmares.
Things her fourteen-year-old self hadn’t even been able to fathom.
Things of agonizing pain and humiliating degradation.
Now Maya did whatever was asked of her. It was just easier that way. Maybe she hated herself a little each time she complied so easily, but it was better to hate herself than endure more pain and suffering.
If she could avoid that, why shouldn’t she?
It wasn’t like she hadn't already suffered more than she could have imagined when she was first taken. Now she didn't care about surviving, didn't care about escaping, didn't care about anything other than avoiding pain.
Well as much of it as she could.
Her master hadn’t bought her to spoil her with pretty clothes, expensive jewelry, and all her favorite foods.
Nope.
He’d bought her to use as he saw fit. Unfortunately for her, that meant she was kept in a cage as little more than a pet, although not one of those spoiled ones like their poodle her mom had treated almost like another child.
She was the kind of pet that was constantly caged, dragged around on a leash whenever she was let out, fed something she wasn't quite sure wasn't dog food, and if it wasn't, it was only one step up.
She had been taught several “tricks” that she was expected to perform on command.
More noise flitted through her mind, but she was already sinking deeper into her little mental haven.
Although her room was dark, with no lights, no windows, and only one door, inside her mind, lights began to flicker on.
Pretty sparkly fairy lights that she’d strung up as a reminder that even if there was no light in her real life, no one but her had control of what happened inside her mind.
It was the only thing she had left that was hers. Her body had long been stripped of its autonomy, but nobody could take her mind, so she protected it with a ruthlessness she was surprised she was still capable of.
A pretty pink unicorn came trotting toward her.
It was her entrance to the deepest recesses of the world she’d created for herself.
Once she climbed on its back, allowed it to carry her into her little oasis, she would basically check out of her surroundings.
Her cage would fade away, a pretty tropical jungle taking its place, and her single mattress became a huge bed in a cute little cabin that was all hers.
All her favorite foods would spread out before her, and she could still remember what each one tasted like even if all she ever ate these days was slop in a bowl.
Stepping into this world literally felt like she was leaving her body and reality behind.
Maya hadn't just found a place to hide when her circumstances became too bad to handle, she had found a place to live, to be free. It didn't matter that it wasn't real, that it was nothing more than delusions she conjured up to replace a life she didn't want to live anymore.
After all, who got to decide what was real and what wasn't?
Were her imaginings any less real to her than the torture she endured daily?
Just as she was climbing onto her unicorn’s back, she heard more noises.
Closer noises.
It sounded like they were coming from Master’s room.
Was he still up? He’d already been to see her tonight.
At least she was pretty sure it had been tonight, but she didn't really have any way to tell time.
Not even her meals were delivered regularly.
Sometimes she was barely hungry again, other times it felt like her stomach was trying to eat itself before another bowl of slop was brought to her cage.
Master never came back once he’d finished with her for the night and gone to bed, and he’d already played with her, then she’d heard him take his shower.
Master liked that his bathroom was right beside her room because he knew she could hear him in there, enjoyed taunting her with his long showers when she hadn't cleaned herself in …
Years maybe?
Even though she was sure she was safe for the night, she could hear movement in the other room, and that meant only one thing.
With a deep, heavy sigh, Maya smoothed a hand down the silky, soft fur of her unicorn and turned her back on it. As badly as she wanted to disappear for a while, she wouldn't make a mistake.
Couldn’t.
If Master was coming, she needed to be prepared for him.
If he came in and she wasn't prepared … there would be hell to pay.
Slowly, the bright lights of her special little world dimmed as she walked away from it.
The darkness of her room filtered back into her consciousness.
The large metal cage was in the center of the room, and various toys—well, Master called them toys but to her they were more objects of torture—lined the walls.
Inside her cage was nothing but a mattress and a cat litter tray that served as her bathroom.
Tears had long since disappeared from her life, she knew how pointless they were, but there was still a heavy blanket of sadness that coated her soul as she shifted so she lay on her back in the middle of her mattress.
No matter how far she roamed into the recesses of her mind, how distant her past and the girl she had once been seemed to be, echoes of that past still existed, and she would never not be sad for the girl whose entire future was stolen.
The sounds in the other room grew louder, and she quickly bent her knees and spread her legs as far as they would go. Master liked a good view of his hole when he came to her, and if she didn't give it to him, he’d make her suffer.
Suffer.
That was all her life consisted of, and she’d learned not to expect any differently.