Chapter 6 #2
But what other choice did she have but to trust these people?
So far, they hadn't done a single thing to hurt her. Maybe they were playing mind games, and they’d punish her the second she gave in, but that seemed like an elaborate way to hurt her when she was already at their mercy.
If they wanted to rape her, nothing was stopping them, certainly not her.
If they wanted to hurt her, or cut her, or wrap their hands around her neck and squeeze until she passed out, they could.
One thing Maya knew for certain was that she wasn't ready to confront her past yet. Loving her family didn't mean she was ready to see them again. If she’d been found earlier, when she was still a kid, then all she would have wanted was to be back in her parents’ arms. But a lot of time had passed since then.
Not only was she not the same person they had once known, but she had long ago made her peace with never seeing them again.
Perhaps that was one wound that shouldn’t be reopened.
The four women all gave her encouraging smiles, and they seemed nice. More than that, they seemed confident. They weren't afraid of these men, that much was sure, and from what Thunder had told her, they were actually dating them.
Surely, if nothing else, she could trust these women.
They wouldn't lead her into a trap, at least she prayed they wouldn't. Only her mind could conjure up a million scenarios where it would be in their best interest to side with captors over her. After all, she’d spent many years not just wondering if the worst was going to happen, but having the worst happen time and time again, getting even worse each time.
If she just stood there, she was going to spiral again.
Plummet back inside the safety of her mind, and the little world in there that she’d created.
For once, that didn't hold quite the same appeal as it used to.
What if they were all telling the truth?
What if she really was safe now?
What if she had control again?
Before she could second-guess herself, Maya took a quick step toward the women.
Almost immediately, she wanted to take her choice back. Stepping away from Thunder, out of his hold, made her feel like she’d left behind her only lifeline, and now she was adrift alone in a vast ocean.
When had he become a lifeline?
Was it when he carried her out of her cage?
Was it when he gave her the first gentle touches she’d experienced since she’d been taken?
Was it when he saved her life by following her over the edge of that cliff?
Was it when he was there every time she opened her eyes, offering her promises of safety and reassurances that no one would hurt her?
Looking over her shoulder at him, she found him smiling. “You did good, babydoll.”
The nickname almost made her smile, but it seemed her face wasn't quite ready to do that yet. Instead she just gave him another single nod.
“What would you like to do?” Rose asked, and the question only intensified that feeling of being adrift.
What did she want to do?
How was she supposed to know? No one had given her any options in years, and she wasn't sure she knew how to make decisions anymore.
Even if she could decide, how was she supposed to communicate it?
For some reason, the thought of speaking left her in a panic. Her voice was the last thing she’d had control over, and she’d clung to that. Refusing to scream, to cry, to beg or plead, for so long now that she wasn't actually sure she remembered how to talk.
“Are you mute by choice, or is it a physical issue?” Thunder asked gently, and a fresh wave of tears stung her eyes.
Giving a shake of her head, Maya hoped he understood she meant she was capable of speaking if she could get her mind to cooperate.
“Okay then, babydoll. You’ll speak when you're ready, and we can make do until then,” Thunder told her.
“How about we go to your room,” Cassandra suggested.
“It’s quieter in there, and you can take a bath.
We made sure it was stocked with all sorts of snacks, so you can eat something, and we can open a window for fresh air if you want, maybe do a manicure.
Anything at all you want, we can make happen. ”
“But we can start small,” Whitney added, understanding in her blue eyes that told Maya the younger woman got what it was like to be suddenly overwhelmed by choices.
“Off you go,” Thunder encouraged, giving her a small prod in the direction of the women. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”
When he brushed past her, she almost reached out and grabbed his shirt, keeping him close by. Whether it made sense or not, he was the first person to show her kindness, and she suddenly felt attached to him.
Instead, she let him leave, and when the women turned and began to confidently walk through the halls, Maya drew in a deep breath and followed.
If she was making a mistake, then she was making a mistake.
In the end, she didn't really think she could make her situation worse by trusting them.
If they were going to hurt her, nothing would stop them.
“So, these guys work for a company called Prey Security,” Rose told her as they wound their way through the corridors. “Have you heard of Prey?”
Maya vaguely recalled hearing of the security company, which was run by billionaire siblings, so she gave a nod. Everything she heard was another mark in the column for trusting these people and believing them, so why was it so difficult to commit to that?
Would she ever stop expecting something awful to happen at any second?
“Everything Thunder said earlier about what my brother did to them is true,” Rose continued. “He’s a sadistic psychopath, and I can't wait for him to suffer and die.”
There was so much rage in the other woman’s voice that it actually went a long way toward convincing her that they were all on the same side. If they truly hated Master, they were all on the same side.
Maybe she really was safe.
Back in the room she’d fled earlier, Cassandra left the door open, and that small thing made her feel so much better. Made her feel less trapped.
“Bath or shower?” Indigo asked.
Being forced with a small choice rather than a big one really did help, and glancing into the bathroom, she lifted a hand and pointed at the bath. It would be nice to just lie in the hot water, soak without having to worry about doing anything else.
“Perfect, how about I go and run a bath, and you can go through the wardrobe, choose something to wear,” Cassandra suggested.
“We made sure it’s well stocked,” Rose added.
“Sweet or salty?” Whitney asked from over by the dresser that was still covered with an array of snacks.
That was an easy choice. Maya had always been a sweet tooth.
Pointing to the chocolate bars, she softly padded across the room to the closet.
When she opened it, she was surprised to see it full of a wide array of clothing choices.
Almost too many. She’d become used to being naked, not okay with it per se, but certainly used to it, and the option of being able to choose her own clothes was so overwhelming it was depressing.
It felt like she would never be able to learn to be a normal person again.
Too much had happened, too many years had passed. She could never go back to the old version of herself, and she didn't know if the new version would ever be able to figure out how to navigate the world.
“Small things,” Whitney reminded her. “You don’t have to solve all your problems this second. All you have to do right now is choose something to wear, then sit in a bubble bath and eat chocolate.”
“Slowly, things will get easier,” Indigo said, and Maya wished she believed that.
But maybe they were right. Maybe for now, she didn't have to figure out her entire life and what that was going to look like. Maybe all she had to do was exactly what they said, eat chocolate in a bubble bath, and then put on clothing she chose for herself.
Whatever happened after that was going to happen whether she stressed herself out about it or not. And if the worst happened and she’d made a mistake in trusting these people, then she could always find her way back to that place in her mind that she’d created to hide in.
So long as she didn't lose her way there, she would always have a safe place to fall back on.