Chapter 7 #2
Which had almost been amusing, given the size of the six men who lived there.
They were all so tall, well over six feet, and pure muscle.
They could crush her like a bug if they wanted to, and yet they spoke in soft voices, moved slowly, and broadcast their intentions before doing anything.
They tried to make themselves smaller, kept conversation light, kept their partners between them and her most of the time, and tried to include her without making her feel obligated to participate.
Yet she had participated multiple times already.
After lunch with Thunder yesterday, she’d sat in a small living room for a while, mostly sitting staring out the window, although he’d told her that she was free to choose a book to read, watch TV, or browse the internet if she wanted.
Then she’d helped him cook dinner. It had been a long time since she’d had any choice in what she ate, and given that she’d only been fourteen when she was taken, she didn't really know how to cook much.
Not that it mattered, the girls joined her and Thunder, and she just followed whatever instructions she’d been given. Nobody pushed her to talk, but they also made sure to include her whenever they could.
It reinforced to her the fact that these were good people.
All of them. The guys and the girls. Thunder in particular.
Which was why this sudden rush of panic caught her by surprise.
One second, she was sitting in the conservatory, staring out at the wintry world around the house, Thunder stretched out on his back on a nearby couch, a book in his hands, the next, something somewhere went thump, and that was it.
Just like that, she was back in the cage.
A thump meant Master was coming.
If Master was coming, then she had to be prepared.
If she wasn't prepared, then she’d be punished. So she acted purely on instinct.
Without any conscious thought, Maya dropped to the floor, spread her legs, and tucked her feet up close to her backside. Just the way Master wanted her. If she was the way he liked her presented, he would just use her body, he wouldn't go out of his way to inflict pain on her.
Well, at least not too much pain.
“Babydoll, what’s happening?” someone asked, but she couldn’t remember who.
The voice was familiar, but it wasn't Master’s voice. Had he brought friends with him today? She hated it when he brought his friends, because it always meant that no matter how good she was, how compliant, she was going to walk away bleeding.
Inside her head a plea echoed, but she didn't bother verbalizing it.
Why would she?
Master didn't care if she was hurting, scared, or angry, she was a possession that belonged to him, that he was free to use however he chose.
“It’s okay, babydoll, you're safe here,” the voice insisted.
That voice didn't make her think of pain, it made her think of gentleness.
But that couldn’t be right. No one there was gentle. Everyone caused pain.
“What do you need from me, babydoll?”
The question sent her mind, already fracturing, into a tailspin.
What did she need? How was she supposed to answer that question? Maya had no idea what she needed. Or did she?
Hands skimmed down her sides, gently stroking her now-clean hair and touching her, but not her skin because she was wearing clothing. An oversized sweater swamped her petite frame, and the pair of leggings she wore beneath it bunched at the bottom because her legs were too short.
Master didn't give her clothes.
You're not with Master anymore. Thunder saved you.
Those words surged through her, giving her moments of clarity that helped her to claw her way back from the edge. She did know what she needed.
Since she was only fourteen when she was abducted, Maya had never learned to deal with problems like an adult.
She’d been a hormonal teen back then, and for the last thirteen years—because that’s how long it had been since she’d been kidnapped—she’d only had one example of what grown-ups did with their bodies.
Scrambling to her feet, she blinked, and the cage faded away, replaced with Thunder and the conservatory.
This was a safe place. Her head knew that, but her body didn't.
No one here had hurt her, everyone had gone out of their way to show her they weren't monsters, and she didn't have to fear them.
Maybe she didn't fully believe that yet, but she knew what she needed to calm down.
“You okay, babydoll?” Thunder asked, his worried eyes staring at her with an intensity that made her shudder.
She was about as far from okay as it was possible to be.
But she knew what she had to do. There was only one thing she was used to, one way she knew to force her mind to blank enough that she could find a way to calm herself.
Frantically, she reached for the waistband of Thunder’s sweatpants. Inside those pants was the answer to her problem.
“What are you doing, babydoll?” Thunder asked, his large hands circling her wrists, stilling her frenetic attempts to get into his pants.
Growling at him, well, attempting to, but it was really more of a snarl without any sound, she yanked her hands free.
Maya was aware enough to know the only way she got them free was because Thunder let her.
He was so much bigger than she was. Stronger.
But so far, he hadn't used that strength against her unless it was to restrain her so she didn't hurt herself or anyone else, and she trusted that would still hold.
Placing her palms against his chest, she pushed him backward, into the chair she’d been curled up on. It was getting harder to draw enough air into her lungs. It was like someone was draining the oxygen from the room, and she couldn’t stop it from happening.
Yes, you can. This will stop it.
That thought spurred her on, and she scrambled at his waistband, managing to shove it out of the way even though he was trying to stop her. Luckily, he was doing so while also trying not to hurt her. But she got what she wanted.
Grabbing his thick length, she palmed it, slid her hand up and down it, needing it hard so she could put it inside her.
This would calm her. This would make it so she could breathe again. So she could think.
“We can't do this, babydoll. You don’t know where you are, don’t know what you're doing. I won't be another man who hurts you like this,” Thunder said, and he meant it. Actually meant it.
If he thought she didn't know what she was doing, he was wrong. She knew, just like she knew it was the only thing that could calm her. It was all she knew. All she had been taught.
Tearing her gaze away from the answer to her problems, she let Thunder see her eyes, see that she was present enough to know what she needed.
Maintaining eye contact, Maya slowed her frantic strokes of Thunder’s penis.
It was already hard, but she couldn’t put it inside her if he didn't want it. She couldn’t become the same as the people he’d saved her from.
She’d rather be dead than be like Master.
“You need this?” he asked, and she nodded.
The motion seemed to dislodge tears she hadn't even known were falling. Reaching out, Thunder caught those tears on the pad of his thumb, brought that thumb to his lips, and sucked them off.
“It’s not about sex, that’s not what you want. You just want to sit on me?” he asked, somehow knowing what she needed even though she wasn't capable of putting that into words.
Nodding again, she silently pleaded with him not to deny her this.
When he leaned forward and brushed his lips to hers, she knew he wouldn't. “Okay, babydoll.”
Helping her shove her leggings and panties down her legs, and letting them fall on the floor at their feet, Thunder lifted her so she was straddling his legs, and guided his thick, hard erection to her entrance.
The burning sting as he slid inside her—she might want this to soothe her, but she wasn't wet, wasn't aroused, this wasn't about sex in her mind—grounded her in a way nothing else could, and as he filled her, she felt her lungs inflate, drawing in a ragged breath.
With him fully seated inside her, she sank down against his chest, needing to feel as much of his body as she could. Thunder wasn't like Master, his touch was always careful, possessive, but in a different way. It wasn’t ownership, it was more protective.
As she tucked her face against his neck, Thunder began to stroke a hand the length of her spine, and she felt her body grow heavy, the panic attack stealing her strength and making her sleepy.
“Rest, babydoll, I have you.”
Even though she knew it was too big of a risk to believe him, Maya couldn’t help it. Thunder had her, and that meant somehow everything was going to be okay.