-23-
Jayasvi looked blankly at her book. Sitting in the balcony, she thought to read a random history book.
It was difficult to concentrate at the moment after her meeting with Dhara in the morning.
Her mind was too lost. Her eyes fell on her ring, tracing the diamond softly before placing a soft kiss on it. She stared at it affectionately.
Now, I know how people cannot see the difference between right and wrong when they are in love. She mumbled to herself.
Damn, I sound so psychotic. She whispered shaking her head.
She closed her book putting it aside moving towards the balcony railing looking at the tree in front of her. She just wanted a distraction at the moment. Feeling the cold breeze hitting her face, she decided to go out for a run.
She was trying to concentrate more on her physical fitness at the moment. She told her mother about her going out for a walk.
She was first going to connect her headphones but thought otherwise wanting to have some time to think. She just wanted to clear her mind. She was thankful that she wore a white- oversized sweater with the loose red pyjamas, her hair in a tight braid.
She looked around her surrounding as she observed the greenery running fast. She could feel her breathing getting faster but her main concentration was on her life at the moment. She went to the city park towards the gym area.
Jayasvi saw Ankita entering in the park lost in her own world with the headphones on her ears. Once she noticed Jayasvi, she passed a smile to her.
"I never saw you here before", Ankita spoke moving towards one of the gym apparatus.
"I just thought to workout a bit", Jayasvi spoke concentrating on her work at the moment.
As they continued their workout, Jayasvi found a sense of temporary relief in the physical exertion. The rhythmic movements and the fresh air helped clear her mind, if only for a while. After a while, they decided to take a break and sat on a bench, enjoying the serene morning atmosphere.
"I hope everything is right?", Ankita asked looking at Jayasvi who was looking lost. Jayasvi smiled softly at her nodding her head.
"How is your hand", Ankita asked looking at the scars on her hand which were healing slowly.
"It's fine", Jayasvi uttered checking the time on her phone. It's been an hour since she was out. She thought to return back home saying a bye to Ankita.
She reached home ready to take a shower getting all sweaty. She hated to smell bad.
"How was your walk?", her mother spoke as Jayasvi took her towel out of her cupboard along with some fresh clothes.
"It was good. I met Ankita there", Jayasvi responded getting her pin to tie her hair in a bun.
"Good. Achha Jayasvi, I was thinking your birthday is approaching. What if we do a jagran that day? We can take gods blessings for your bright future", her mother proposed looking at her daughter.
"Why not? But did you ask papa? I don't think he'll agree and how will everything be done in such a short notice. It's just few days left", Jayasvi spoke looking at her mother.
"Everything will be done. You always think about the negative side. I talk to your father. He isn't happy but we should do this I think", Anjali spoke moving out of the room to talk to her mother-in-law. Jayasvi sighed before going to take a bath.
The day of the jagran came by faster than Jayasvi expected. It was the day before her birthday.
Jayasvi was dressed in a camel colour warm Anarkali suit. All the preparations were done as Jayasvi was welcoming the guests while doing the little work.
?
"Jayu, they are asking for Kumkum", Ankita spoke. Jayasvi nodded moving upstairs to get the kumkum and Roli at once along with some rice. So they can take whatever was needed accordingly.
"Jayu", she heard somebody call as she moved towards them.
"She is Anjali's daughter. She is beautiful, right", a lady she didn't really know was introducing her to an elderly couple. Jayasvi smiled politely joining her hands.
"Namaste", she said softly.
"You really grew up so much. You were so small when we last saw you", another woman spoke pulling her cheeks lightly. Jayasvi smiled. I will not remain small my whole life. What kind of statement is this? She thought in her mind, her smile turning sweeter.
"I think mumma must be looking for me. Aap Bethiye na", Jayasvi spoke politely leaving before they could even say anything. (You sit please)
She was moving to get some sugar when she heard another familiar voice.
"Bhabhi", she turned to look at Dhara who was running behind her.
"You walk so fast", Dhara spoke taking deep breaths. She was dressed in a white Lucknowi suit with a peach pashmina shawl on it.
"I thought you'll not be able to come", Jayasvi spoke as Dhara hugged her.
"Papa-Maa would've come as well but papa had a rally in Bihar so he had to leave there. Than we came along with Dadi", Dhara explained smiling brightly at Jayasvi.
"We?", Jayasvi questioned her lips parting. That means he was here as well.
"Yes, me, Karan, dadi", Dhara spoke which made Jayasvi sigh sadly. She knew he'll not come.
"And your dear Raghav", Dhara teased pulling Jayasvi's cheek at the sudden disappointment on her face which soon turned into blush.
"You just say anything", Jayasvi spoke moving to welcome everyone forgetting about the sugar.
As she reached there, her eyes met with Karan's who smiled softly at her waving in her direction.
He was standing beside Raghav's dadi. He was dressed in a white kurta pajama with a blue coat over it.
She knew he would have many oglers tonight.
"Ye lijiye hamari bachhi bhi aa gai", Gauri Hooda spoke touching Jayasvi's cheek affectionately as she reached them. She was dressed in a heavy peach suit. Jayasvi was about to bow down to touch her feet when Gauri stopped her. (See, our daughter is also here)
"Na, meri bachhi. Tu toh gale lag", Gauri spoke hugging her close to her. (No, my daughter. You just hug me)
"Thank you for coming, dadi", Jayasvi spoke softly.
"Your papa-ma would've come as well but they were busy", Gauri spoke. Jayasvi nodded. She felt it so weird to see how time passes. Once upon a time, her only wish to meet her Gajraaj sir once in her life and now to hear him as her father, it felt like a dream.
"Kitni pyaari lag Rahi hai meri bachhi. Bhagwaan ise saari buri nazar se bachae", Gauri spoke tracing her eyes to get her Kajal and put it behind Jayasvi's ear before kissing her forehead. (How beautiful my daughter is looking. God protect her from evil eyes)
Jayasvi felt so overwhelmed at the love Gauri was showering on her.
"See, even Raghav is here," Gauri spoke, which made Jayasvi's heartbeat fast. She looked up to find him in a white silk kurta pajama clinging to his muscular body.
She felt her throat getting dry just by looking at him.
He was just so handsome. The shawl over his shoulder to keep him warm was actually making him look more muscular at the moment.
The thick gold chain he was wearing was slightly visible.
She gulped down in nervousness. How could somebody be this hot?
She felt like her heart skipped a beat looking at his appearance.
She had never noticed his curly hair, which looked carelessly combed with fingers, adding to his rugged charm.
Jayasvi tried to tear her gaze away but found it nearly impossible.
His presence seemed to command the entire place as she saw girls glancing at him now and than, and she here felt a mix of nervousness and excitement bubbling within her.
His eyes met hers, and for a moment, the noise of the gathering faded into the background.
She could see a hint of a smirk playing on his lips, as if he knew the effect he was having on her.
Gauri, oblivious to the silent exchange, continued to chatter happily beside her.
Jayasvi nodded along, her mind only half registering what was being said.
She was acutely aware of every movement Raghav made, every shift of his body, and every time he glanced in her direction.
The golden light from the oil lamps flickered, casting a warm glow on his face and highlighting his sharp features.
"Jayu, are you even listening?" Gauri nudged her playfully.
"Uh, yes, yes I am," Jayasvi stammered, trying to focus. She forced herself to look away from Raghav, but her mind kept drifting back to him. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, if he felt the same magnetic pull she did.
"He's quite the catch, isn't he?" Gauri whispered conspiratorially, her eyes twinkling.
Jayasvi blushed furiously, unable to respond. She felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, her emotions swirling in a mix of anticipation and nervousness. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, but the fluttering in her stomach refused to settle.
Raghav touch her mother's feet as he approached them. Jayasvi's mother was ecstatic to see her dear son-in-law who was more like a son to her.
"Dadi, I'll get a chair for you", Jayasvi spoke moving to pick up a heavy chair to help her sit comfortably as the function already started. The music was loud as the bhajans were sang.
"Beta, it's heavy", dadi spoke but Jayasvi smiled at her. She was used to doing her things on her own. She placed the chair at the front. She could feel eyes on her. She couldn't see the guards today. Maybe, they were dressed normally.
"Thank you", Gauri spoke as she settled down.
Raghav and Karan were standing talking about something while Dhara sat down beside dadi when Rishabh approached Jayasvi.
"Bua is asking me to get some things. I'll come in a bit", he announced before leaving. This didn't go well with Jayasvi as she moved towards her mother who was busy with the guests. She excused her from them before taking her aside.
"Mumma, it's a function in our house. Why is Rishabh doing all the work", Jayasvi spoke looking at her mother, her voice sharp.
"Jayu, behave yourself. Who else would do the work?", Anjali spoke looking angrily at Jayasvi.
"Mumma, I don't like to be a burden on anyone. You know that", Jayasvi argued.
"Jayu, he is a boy. There are certain things only he can do. Have you seen the time?", Anjali spoke talking about how it was late and only he knew how to drive.
"So what. Even Nidhi acts like it's an occasion at their place", Jayasvi spoke looking at Nidhi who was attending every guest. It felt like it was her family event which wasn't going well with Jayasvi.
"Why do you always have problems with them?
After your marriage, they'll be the people who'll take care of us when needed.
If you are born as a son nothing such would have happened.
You would've been doing all these works", Anjali told her, her voice higher but due to the loud bhajans nobody noticed.
"So this is it, right? They always matter more to you.
It isn't my choice that I was born a girl.
But you know what when you are so ready to just make your niece- nephew your real child, I won't say anything about it.
I always came second to them nevertheless", Jayasvi spoke, her voice sharp and her eyes getting teary.
"Come on, Jayu—", Anjali couldn't complete her words as Jayasvi moved away from her. Jayasvi took deep breaths to calm herself. She passed fake smiles to the people around her before moving to her flat. She ran upstairs unlocking the door quickly as tears passed down her cheeks.
She herself didn't know why she always felt so competitive towards Nidhi and Rishabh.
They were her mother's real brother kids and Ankita and Nayan were her mother's cousin brother's kids.
She grew up hearing how things would've been different if her parents would've had a son instead of her making her feel worse.
She wiped her tears as she got inside sobbing throwing away her dupatta. She was never anyone's choice neither she will ever be. She didn't know why she has to suffer so much. Why couldn't someone understand her? Or maybe she was overreacting but that was also because she was tired.
She sat down on the floor pulling her knees to her chest sobbing pulling out the rings he gave to her throwing them away. She felt like her heart would burst out someday. She remembered what she heard Karan and Raghav conversing when she went to call them.
"I am glad you are getting over Aneri. Bhabhi is a great girl", Karan spoke putting his palm on Raghav's shoulder.
"See the place before opening your mouth", Raghav responded pushing Karan's hand away going to talk to his security head who was dressed as a person coming to attend the jaagran.
Jayasvi tried her level best to think of other possibilities but she couldn't. She tried to think maybe Jayasvi is his cousin but she knew she met all of his cousins and no one was Aneri in them.
She hit her head on the wall in frustration. Her body was at fire at the moment. She'll go crazy like this. She knew this. She sobbed loudly hiding her face on her knees.
Just then she heard the bell ring. She got up slipping clumsily before wiping her tears carelessly picking up her dupatta. She opened the door after taking a deep breaths when the bell rang continuously.
She opened the door to find Raghav standing there with his eyes on the floor. He looked up when he found the door open looking straight at her.
"What are you doing here?", he questioned her as he got inside looking around her house.
"I should ask you the same. Raghav, I am not up for any argument right now", she mumbled tiredly. He bend down picking up her engagement ring from the ground looking at her with raised eyebrows.
"Where is the other one?", he questioned pushing her to the main door successfully closing it. She gasped at the sudden contact.
"Go ask your Aneri, she'll know", Jayasvi hissed at him. His eyes turned sharp with an evil glint visible in them.
"If I was you, I won't have said that", he stated, his voice harsh.
"If you would've been me, you would hate yourself", she hissed at him before pushing him away from her but her body was too weak to even hold herself. She ended up resting her palm on his chest as fat tears cascaded down her cheeks.
"Please chale jaiye aap yaha se, Raghav. I don't want you to hate me more than you already do", she sobbed leaning on the door trying to maintain distance between them. (Please leave, Raghav)
"Not before you wear this", he spoke harshly pushing the engagement ring harshly in her finger.
She hissed feeling pain as he roughly pushed the finger in her ring.
She remembered the day when he was so gentle with her and now.
Maybe he always loved Aneri. She looked at him with tear filled eyes cupping his face softly which was something which was shocking for him.
"Pata hai Raghav mujhe laga tha I am the only one who is suffering with this whole arrangement", she mumbled smiling softly feeling his beard tickling her palm. (You know Raghav, I thought I am the only one who is suffering with this whole arrangement)
"Par ab sochu to mujhse zyada to aapke saath galat hua hai.
Aapne kitna kuch socha hoga na Apne future ke bare mein.
I know I am nowhere near to it. Aapko to koi bhi mil jaati, any famous actress, any girl who is having a strong economic background but aap yaha mere saath fas gae", Jayasvi mumbled as tears continued falling down her eyes.
Her heart was hurting as she let out those words.
(But now that I think of it, you were wronged more than me.
You must have thought so much about your future.
I know I am nowhere near to it. You could be gotten anyone, any famous actress, any girl who is having a strong economic background but you got stuck with me)
"What kind of stupidity is this?", he growled angrily pushing her to the door more making her hiss as his hands clutched her wrist above her head.
"Who is Aneri?", she questioned softly looking the other way not able to look at him. She could feel his hold tightening around her wrist with the question.