38
Jayasvi looked at him, clearly confused yet agitated by the sheer audacity of the sudden promise he had just thrown in her face.
She felt nothing but raw surprise at his boldness, entirely unsure as to what she owed it.
He hadn't been anything but cruel to her in the past. Just because he was choosing to be sweet today, how dare he expect her to suddenly turn forgiving toward him?
She wasn't some Hindi serial heroine who lived as an epitome of endless goodness, and her past pain was absolutely no joke.
She wasn't about to make any such promise, nor would she showcase false happiness for a marriage she only felt deep dread about.
Even though his gesture today was undeniably heartwarming, did it actually mean he had won her trust?
Not at all. It was nice, cute, and loving, definitely, but it was nowhere near enough to make her forget her past sufferings.
She looked up at him for a moment before letting out a long breath; the surrounding air suddenly felt too chilling and uncomfortable for her to bear.
"Raghav, I don't know if this is just another game for you or if you have actually changed.
But I can't trust you. Not yet. And I hope I don't have to explain to you why you don't have my trust any longer," Jayasvi spoke with a striking calmness in her voice, a composure that surprised even herself.
Raghav blinked a few times, clearly unable to believe her words.
He felt he had done everything possible to win her over, but it was as if she was simply not ready to let anything reach her heart.
Had her heart turned completely cold to him?
But she had claimed to love him once, didn't she?
He had to find a way to warm her heart yet again. He absolutely had to.
Taking a deep breath, he nodded his head, truly seeing her situation clearly for what felt like the first time in his life. She had suffered far worse than this. It was his own fault to expect her to just forget everything so suddenly.
"I know, Jayasvi..." he spoke, deep in his thoughts, before looking directly into her eyes.
"You think I don't have a heart. And I don't even blame you for that.
I understand now that winning your trust is not about saying a few sentences the proper way.
If I have broken your heart, it becomes my sole responsibility to tend to it as well.
It's my responsibility to make you feel safe enough to trust me again. "
Jayasvi looked into his eyes for a fleeting second before twisting her lips into a sharp nod.
"Go on, if you want. Try as much as you want.
Par pata hai meri maa kya kehti hai?
Vo kehti hai bharosa ek dhaage ki tarah hota hai jo ek baar tut jae to vo kabhi judta nahi, aur jude bhi to ek gaath beech mein hamesha reh jaati hai," she spoke, looking past his shoulder at the tree behind him before giving him a tight-lipped smile.
Without waiting for a response, she walked back to the room to get changed.
(But do you know what my mother says?
She says trust is like a thread. Once it breaks, it can never truly be joined back together, and even if you do tie it back, a knot always remains in the middle.)
To Raghav, it felt as though Jayasvi didn't care for his feelings any longer.
Par Jayasvi ke liye baat ab mohabbat ki nahi reh gayi thi.
Mohabbat mein ek baar khud ko tabah kar chuki thi vo.
Ab use mohabbat ka dar nahi tha. Ek baar apne atmasamman ko bhi uske liye tabah kara tha usne.
Ab ye ladai uski Raghav se nahi thi, ab ye ladai uski khud se thi—apni nazron mein uthne ki, jisme vo bohot neeche gir chuki thi jab usne khud ko Raghav ki mohabbat mein itna neeche giraya tha.
(But for Jayasvi, it wasn't just a matter of love anymore.
She had already destroyed herself once in the name of love, and she no longer feared it.
She had even annihilated her own self-respect for him back then.
Now, this fight wasn't against Raghav; this fight was with herself—to rise back up in her own estimation, where she had fallen so incredibly low when she degraded herself for Raghav's love.)
She didn't turn around even once when he walked past her this time. Her mind was entirely clear for once. Even though her heart ached to turn back just once—only once to look at him—she knew it wasn't the right time.
She quickly changed back into her loose, comfortable clothes from earlier, keeping the heavy saree and jewelry neatly organized. Coming out of the room, she carried all the expensive items and handed them straight back to him.
"You can check if everything is there. I might have dropped something inside. Though I checked again myself, it's still better to be sure just in case," Jayasvi spoke softly for once.
He raised an eyebrow, clearly displeased by her words. Why on earth would he check it? It wasn't as if he doubted her or expected her to steal anything. As if reading the dark thoughts crossing his mind, she shook her head quickly to dismiss them.
"See, Raghav, there were other people in that room as well.
And it's just better to check. What if something dropped onto the floor?
It would be found right now. This isn't about you doubting me.
It's about doing the right thing. This jewelry is incredibly expensive, so I want you to check everything before we leave," she explained, her voice low yet tinged with a slight frustration because she couldn't understand why he wouldn't grasp this simple piece of information.
Why was he acting so stubborn all of a sudden?
He let out a long, tired sigh before finally checking through the items.
Soon after, a deep frown formed on his face right in the middle of inspecting the pieces. She peeked at the articles to see what was causing his sudden shift in mood.
He pulled out the pearl ring he had gifted her previously, which she had taken off while removing all the other heavy jewelry.
Realization hit her face instantly, her mouth opening in a wide 'O' as she reached out to take the ring back from him.
Instead, he pushed her hands away, fisting his fingers tightly around the band.
Don't tell me he is going to pick a fight because of this, she wondered, only for him to grab her hand the very next moment and slide the ring back onto her finger himself.
"When we get married, Jayasvi, make sure to wear the engagement ring as well.
The wedding will take place under high security, so your family won't have to worry about safety any longer.
It will be my worry from then on," he asserted, though it sounded entirely like an order.
Some people never forget their old habits, Jayasvi thought bitterly to herself.
"And about you refusing to promise me earlier.
.. the very next day after our marriage, we have to come back here as per the family traditions.
Whether you accept it or not, it doesn't change a single thing," he continued, stepping forward to open the passenger seat door for her.
She narrowed her eyes at him in response.
How could she have forgotten? Even when he was acting like a total gentleman, he still possessed the uncanny ability to make her blood boil with his dominant, possessive words.
He desperately needed to understand that even if he married her, he did not own her in any manner.
She was her own person, and she demanded her freedom.
Even though he was the one who had planted the seeds of this marriage and orchestrated every detail, a marriage still required two people.
For once, he needed to accept that this wasn't a solo game anymore.
He needed to earn her trust, and if he continued acting like a scumbag, she could easily see him failing miserably in the process. He might succeed in marrying her and claiming her to the world, but her heart would never belong to him.
She sat down silently, pulling her brown hair into a neat braid while he started the engine, driving back toward the capital with the usual security convoy trailing closely behind.
For once, she was incredibly glad he hadn't forced a kiss out of her here.
Perhaps he had simply resolved to behave himself in front of his kuldevi for a change.
Her phone pinged again with a message from Aahan. She didn't move to check the screen this time, knowing very well that doing so would only trigger another massive fight with Raghav. She was simply far too exhausted at the moment to deal with another argument.
"My mother was thinking of taking you shopping for the wedding jewelry," Raghav finally broke the long silence, reaching over to turn on some soft, romantic music in the background.
"It depends on my family. And anyways, she can choose whatever she wants.
It doesn't make a difference to me. I have absolutely no knowledge about jewelry to actually give my input.
Whatever she chooses will be perfect. The jewelry that came for the engagement was out of this world anyway, so I trust her choice completely," she responded, leaning back into her seat, only to catch the corner of his lips curving upward into a smirk. A distinctly victorious smirk.
"What is it now?" she questioned, thoroughly irritated by his sudden change in expression.
"Well, it was actually me who selected that engagement jewelry," he confirmed, validating her suspicious mind, though he didn't even move his eyes from the road to look in her direction.
"Of course. I mean, why wouldn't it be?... But why would you even do that?" Jayasvi questioned, genuinely struggling to believe his words for a second.
"Keep believing whatever lets you sleep at night," he responded, shrugging his shoulders almost innocently. Her frown deepened at his deflective words, but she didn't push further for information, turning instead to look out at the passing scenery, even though there wasn't much to see in the dark.
When he finally dropped her off at her place, he raised her hand to his lips, kissing every single one of her fingers.
She didn't offer much of a reaction, even though her cheeks flushed a slight pink.
Hurrying out of the vehicle, she exited quickly.
He waited steadfastly until she safely entered her home before driving away.
Her breathing was fast. She peeked out the window just in time to watch his car disappear down the road.
Stepping further inside, she found her mother standing in the living room with her arms crossed, a deeply disappointed expression plastered across her face, with her dadi sitting right beside her.
Jayasvi knew instantly that this silent confrontation was about her going out with Raghav.
But since it had been her dadi's ultimate decision and not her own choice to make, she wasn't going to let herself get dragged into an argument.
She went inside silently after offering them a quiet greeting, closing her bedroom door firmly behind her.
Changing into her pajamas at last, she finally picked up her phone to find a text from Raghav letting her know he had reached home safely.
She practically rolled her eyes at the notification.
After a beat of hesitation, she sent him a simple thumbs-up emoji before flipping over to check the unread messages from Aahan.
She thought about it for a tense moment before deciding to give him a call this time.
"Oh god, Jayasvi, I thought you were never going to talk to me again. I don't know what I did to make you so upset, but please understand that I never had any bad intentions toward you," Aahan rushed out in one continuous breath, not even waiting for her to say hello.
"Aahan, listen to me. I am officially engaged.
I am getting married in two months. I really don't want any drama or trouble during all of this.
It's just better if we don't have any contact from now on," Jayasvi spoke, keeping her tone exceptionally soft this time, trying her best to make him understand her boundary without actively hurting his feelings.
"I know, Jayasvi, but did I ever ask for too much from you?
It's your decision at the end of the day.
I just really don't want to lose a friend like you," his voice cracked slightly near the end, causing Jayasvi to freeze completely.
Was he actually crying? Just because she wasn't talking to him?
She had never intended to cause him this much pain.
"Aahan, please don't react this way. I never meant to hurt you, truly.
I just don't want any problems to arise out of this situation.
I don't want you to end up developing deep feelings for me and getting hurt because of it," Jayasvi tried her absolute best to explain her stance.
She hated the idea of hurting anyone—least of all the person who had patiently listened to her rants for months, being her solid friend long before Raghav had ever disrupted her life.
"I am perfectly happy just being your friend, Jayasvi.
I just want a place in your life. I don't know if that's asking for too much, but I want to be a part of the happy moments you experience.
I'm not asking you to return or even acknowledge my feelings.
I just don't want us to break this bond so abruptly," Aahan's voice carried a genuine yearning, pleading for her to trust him just this once.
"Fine. But only because you have been a truly great friend to me.
I am making it entirely clear right now, though—I do not have any romantic feelings for you," she stated firmly after a long, heavy pause.
If she was being completely honest with herself, she wasn't ready to let go of his companionship either.
With all the absolute chaos turning her life upside down, she desperately needed a friend, even if she couldn't share the messy details of her reality with him.