Chapter Twenty Six
Istare at the spot where Desin disappeared, my heart pounding. I’m alone with Ray and Jamie now, expected to do the unthinkable.
Jamie steps closer, resting a hand on my arm. “Are you okay?”
“How can I be okay with this?” My shrill reply is too loud, but I’m freaking the fuck out.
I gesture at Ray’s unconscious form. He looks so helpless, unconscious and resting. The thought of touching him intimately makes my stomach churn. “Desin’s basically asking me to rape him.”
“I don’t think the Sinth see it that way.” Jamie frowns. “They believe mating will awaken his abilities and set him free. If it doesn’t work, you’re probably not true mates.”
“But he can’t consent!”
I pace the length of the room, anger and frustration bubbling up inside me.
I want Ray to be free. I want him to live and experience the world outside this lab. And yeah, I want to have sex with him. But not like this.
“Think of it as CPR,” Jamie suggests. “You’re trying to revive him.”
I whirl on her. “Don’t be ridiculous! This isn’t some lifesaving technique! It’s sex!”
She holds up her hands in surrender. “You’re right, I’m sorry. That was a terrible analogy.”
Jamie steps close again, her expression earnest. “I understand why you’re hesitating, but we don’t know how else to help him. The Sinth have more advanced knowledge about these things. Maybe we should trust their judgment?”
I stare at Ray again, torn. His dark skin seems lighter in the bright room, and I move to the nightstand, flicking on the light. Jamie switches off the overhead switch by the door as Iturn toface her.
Sinking onto the side of the bed, I rub my arms against the chill in the room. I want to believe the Sinth can be trusted. I want Ray to live more than anything.
But…this. Sex. And how would that even work?
With a fortifying breath, I make my decision.
“Get me some scissors. And a blanket,” I tell Jamie. “You know… something to cover the lower half of his body. I’m going to need some privacy.”
Jamie smiles, relieved, and hurries to comply. My stomach churns again, but I steel myself.
I’m doing this for Ray.
It’s the only way.
It takes a few minutes to cut off his shoes, and Jamie gets the blanket while I do. Then I cut up one leg before pausing where the jumpsuit meets his crotch. Letting the scissors drop on the bed, I stretch my fingers. “It’s almost like wire. Not thread.”
“Here,” Jamie scoops up the scissors. “I’ll take a turn.”
I watch as she uses two hands to cut up the other leg and then take over again cutting down from his neckline. “It’s weird there aren’t buttons. How did he get this on?”
“You’ll have to ask him when you wake him up.”
I try to smile at her, butit’s forced.Thisis so uncomfortable.
I wait until Jamie leaves, and then lock the door behind her. My steps echo loudly in the silence as I move back to stand beside Ray. His chest rises and falls steadily, but it’s the only sign of life in his motionless form.
I reach out with a trembling hand and brush the hair back from his forehead. His skin is warm but lacks the usual vitality I’ve come to associate with him. The thing is… it doesn’t matter if he hates me for this. At least he will be alive.
Awake.
So they think we could be mates? What does that matter? They can’t know everything. The Sinth are guessing…
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t know if you can even hear me, but... I’m doing this for you. To give you another chance at life, and freedom, and all the things you’ve been denied for so long.”
Of course, he doesn’t respond. I smooth the blanket over his lower body and take a deep breath.
I can do this.
Heart pounding, I remove my clothes and slip under the blanket beside him. The chill in the air raises goosebumps on my skin as I curl against his side, draping an arm over his chest.
“Wake up,” I plead softly, nuzzling my face into his neck. “Please, Ray. I need you.”
He remains still and unresponsive. Tears prick at my eyes and I blink them away angrily. I didn’t come this far to cry like a baby.
Leaning down, I brush my lips softly against his. I’ve never been one for fairytales, but I can’t help hoping a kiss will be enough to wake him. Too light, maybe?
I tilt my head and press my lips to his, pouring all my desperation and longing into the kiss. For one brief moment, I think I feel the barest twitch of his mouth under mine. When he remains unresponsive, I pull back with a sigh.
It’s only wishful thinking. Ray is as motionless as ever, and I’m alone, wondering if I’m just making a fool of myself.It’s just so…unconventional.
Steeling myself, I slide one hand down his chest and over the blanket covering his hips. His body is lax, but with some maneuvering, I’m able to position him so I can lift my leg over and straddle his waist, letting the blanket pool on his upper thighs behind us.
It feels wrong to ogle him. But he’s beautiful.As ripped as a football player and just as big as them.
As I start to move, tears well up, blurring my vision. “Come back to me,” I beg. “Please, Ray. I need you.”
I rock my hips slowly, grinding against him. With each pass, I can feel him hardening beneath me. It’s working.
I increase my pace, my breath coming faster. His body is responding on instinct, even if his mind remains trapped.
Every slide of my hips is a prayer for him to open his eyes, to look at me, and really see me. I cling to him, willing my body’s energy into his.
Tears well up, blurring my vision. “Come back to me,” I beg. “Please, Ray. I need you.”
I’m so focused on him that my arousal takes me by surprise. But I welcome it, let it build. I’m hoping our connection goes both ways.
I cling to him as I chase the building sensation. A sob escapes me as the pleasure crests, and in that moment, Ray sucks in a sharp breath.
I freeze in place, hardly daring to breathe. Did I imagine it?
No.
His chest rises and falls under my hands, and his heartbeat thrums steadily against my skin. “Ray?” I whisper, leaning over him and bracing my hands on the bed by his head.
Nothing. But he’s totally hard now. His cock lies ramrod straight between us, and I wiggle experimentally, somewhat embarrassed by how wet I am.
Gliding him between my folds, I hiss as I lift my weight, staring at where we’re touching. Is that even going to fit?
My eyes widen as his cock twitches. Was that from his breathing? But then it lifts again, brushing against the hair on my mound.
Yes!
He’s in there. I know it.
I glance up at his face, but he’s still like a statue below me. So… sex.
I guess I should do the deed since this does look promising.
My face flushes as I grab him, lifting his cock to rub the underside against me as I rock.
I don’t have to put him all the way in, right? I’lljustget him inside me a bit. Just enough…
Stars explode in my vision as I sink down on him, and an orgasm crashes over me. My legs tremble as I perch above him, letting the waves of ecstasy carry me away from the moment.
Ray jerks beneath me, pulling us both to a sitting position as he groans, driving up into me. His hands grip my ass, yanking me down onto his lap as he knocks the remaining air from my lungs and I can’t stop the scream as another orgasm follows quickly behind the last.
But Ray’s awake, and I realize he’s coming too as he fills me to overflowing. A tingling sensation adds to the pleasure, and I try to slow my breathing as the sensation spreads out, racing through my body until I feel like I’m vibrating.
What the fuck?
I stare at Ray, watching his eyes flutter open. They meet mine, and a slow smile curves his lips. “There you are,” he rasps, his voice rough from disuse.
Joy and relief flood me in equal measure. I surge forward and capture his lips in a searing kiss.
This time, he kisses me back.