7. Chapter 7
DAREN
Daren had tried to act normal yesterday and maybe succeeded, but he couldn’t shake the feelings plaguing him. He hadn’t brought their date night dinner along, too worried at the time and just so desperate to see Lilo. So, they had planned to have their raincheck tonight.
He was back at Curtis’s shop that morning.
The meal he had planned required a few fresh ingredients that hadn’t lasted long enough in the fridge and needed to be replaced.
The night before, a worried Curtis had been waiting to berate Daren when he got home, but he had returned earlier than a usual outing to see Lilo, as he’d been a little conscientious of his not yet completely recovered body.
Curtis let him off the hook eventually but still wanted to meet Daren’s mystery boyfriend.
Someone Daren could never introduce Curtis to.
It seemed even sillier that Curtis was so tentative to start something with Bradley.
After all, there were pitfalls and risks to any relationship, but those two didn’t have to worry about being different species.
If Curtis couldn’t make it work with another human that he pined for, who—at least in Daren’s opinion—also liked him back, what hope did Daren have?
To distract him from his own romantic troubles, even just a little, he had to know why Curtis was dragging his heels, and since there were far fewer customers so early in the morning, he had the chance to ask.
“Could you not give me a hard time about Bradley today?” Curtis cut off Daren’s question before he could ask it. He looked wary today too, haggard even.
“I was never trying to upset you, Curtis,” Daren said gently, “only to convince you to take the chance you so clearly seem to want. I’m not used to you shying from that. But isn’t it because you actually like him?”
Curtis sighed, not making eye contact with Daren as he rang up his purchases. “It would be a mistake.”
“Why? Because he’s so much younger?”
“No.” Curtis’s eyes snapped up in further frustration.
“Eleven years is nothing. We’re both adults.
It’s not that. It’s because he’s temporary.
Sure, his research here might keep getting extended.
He might even end up staying for a few years, but might gets dangerous.
Might can also lead to might not, have not, will not, and then it’s all downhill because long distance never works.
Trust me. I have gotten this close so many times with him now, but people from different worlds…
how can they make that work? If it can’t be forever, a guarantee of a future together, aren’t you just setting yourself up for disappointment? ”
He meant the grand you of course, but his words hit so close to home that Daren felt winded.
It could be good with Lilo for a while. It had been good.
So good. Wonderful. But how long could that last before the end of it hurt worse than never having had it at all?
“Yeah…” Daren muttered, mostly to himself. “I guess I would be.”
“What? Whoa, wait.” Curtis reached to stop Daren from leaving too hastily, clamping a hand down on his before he could reclaim his credit card. “I’m talking about me and a temporary researcher who might not even be here in a year. I didn’t mean you and Glooscap the mystery man.”
“But we… we are really different, Curtis.” Daren’s eyes felt damp as he looked up at his friend.
“Different worlds doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Believe me, if our lives intersected any other way, I would have introduced him to you by now.
I’d be taking him everywhere with me and showing him off to the whole damn town. ”
“Then why haven’t you?”
“I can’t.” Daren pried his hand from under Curtis’s, snatched up his credit card and bag of purchases, and turned to leave, shaking his head.
“Wait! It’s not the same! I wasn’t talking about you! Daren! Daren, don’t—!” But Curtis dropped his voice once Daren thrust open the door, the rest of it a barely audible mumble, which reached Daren just as the door closed behind him. “…be like me.”
Daren had to. He just hoped Curtis wouldn’t keep being like him.
He had second thoughts constantly throughout the day.
He knew he shouldn’t make any rash decisions and tried to not think about it—the future and how his courtship with Lilo could never be more than what it was.
A dalliance. A wonderful fairy tale. A dream that was doomed to never exist beyond their estuary and the hidden caverns beneath the cliffs.
Did that matter? Could that be enough? Or did Daren need more?
Did they deserve more? He missed Lilo so much when he had to go home at night.
What happened when Daren got too old to go out on the boat, or got sick again, or got sicker than the flu like his father, or if someone spotted Lilo someday…
No matter how much Daren tried to clear his mind and just enjoy Lilo’s company, it was always at the forefront.
Their ticking clock.
“Daren okay?”
Scallops for dinner had turned out wonderfully, cooked to perfection, and so pleasing to Lilo that he had squealed in delight and twirled about in the water for Daren in a beautiful display of dancing tentacles.
Before then, they had kissed. They had fished.
They had shared stories and time together, and eventually an intimate embrace, but as the hours wore on, Daren found it more and more difficult to ignore that he was living a fantasy.
It was the warmest day yet, so warm that they hadn’t bothered with the hot spring, even after the sun sank low.
Lilo brought Daren to the large rock near the cliff again, where Daren had climbed out atop it to soak up the remaining summer sun, enjoying the heat on his naked body and the contrasting coolness of his feet dangling in the water.
He wasn’t sure how to answer Lilo, but he knew he had been quiet today.
“Daren want Lilo help… relax more?” Lilo was lounging on the rock beside him, and a few of his tentacles caressed up Daren’s legs and across his chest.
“You don’t have to.” Daren recoiled in a way that must have been telling, because Lilo’s brow furrowed, like he didn’t understand why Daren would deny him.
“Lilo like to,” he insisted. “Daren not warm?”
“I’m warm enough. I just…” Daren shifted onto his hip, sitting up to be level with Lilo.
How much harder would it be to leave this inquisitive face when it was no longer a choice but a necessity?
Daren hated to think about it, but ignoring the truth was selfish and would only make this more painful in the end.
“Can you, um, bring me back to the boat?”
With the warmer water, Daren didn’t move the boat closer when they wanted time on the rocks but had Lilo swim him there. He could swim there himself, but he enjoyed Lilo’s speed and the curl of tentacles around him. He always had.
And he would miss all of it so much.
“Something wrong,” Lilo insisted. “Daren still sick?”
“I’m not sick, Lilo. Just bring me back. Please?”
Lilo did, though not as swiftly as usual, as though trying to stall. Daren didn’t immediately answer Lilo’s questioning gaze even after he was back on board but took his time drying off and dressing.
“Daren,” Lilo pressed, holding himself up over the side of the boat, “talk.”
Situating himself on the cooler near Lilo like usual, Daren closed his eyes and couldn’t hide their wetness when he opened them again. “I’ve been thinking. Especially after I got sick, I… I worry sometimes. About so many things. Like what if someone ever caught us? What if someone saw you?”
“Lilo hide. Very fast.”
“That might not be enough. There are more tourists around this time of year, more boats out here every day. We can’t be sure if this area will stay empty forever. Not everyone knows the estuary’s stories, warning people away.”
“Daren and Lilo be careful.”
“Lilo… we are literally from different worlds.”
“What Daren saying?” Lilo asked with rising alarm.
“These past few months have been incredible. But—”
“No.” Lilo shook his head before Daren could continue, clearly distressed, and reached over the side of the boat to take Daren’s hand. “Daren come back. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. Yes?”
“I want to.” Daren squeezed Lilo’s fingers. “But the longer we keep on like this, pretending everything is easy and perfect, the harder it will be to let go when the inevitable happens and we're forced apart—”
“Give coat!” Lilo shouted.
“What? You… want my coat?”
“No, no.” Lilo patted his chest with his free hand. “Lilo give coat.”
Since Lilo was literally naked at all times, Daren had to frown. “I don’t understand.”
As good as Lilo’s English had grown over the months, there was still miscommunication, things that were difficult to express because they were too much a part of one or the other’s culture. As Lilo hastened to explain, he pulled up the rings on the chain from beneath Daren’s shirt.
“Daren’s people give ring. Lilo’s give coat.”
The implication wasn’t one Daren could misconstrue. “You’re asking me to marry you?”
“Mate.” Lilo nodded, dropping the rings to press his hand to Daren’s chest, and then pulling back to touch his own. “Mate.”
That was honestly the only thing Daren wanted. “But how? Like this, forever?”
“Forever.” Lilo nodded more frantically.
“I want to. I wish we could do that, Lilo. But it’s a fairy tale. A story from the head. It won’t work in reality. It’ll be too hard.”
“Coat.” Lilo was very distraught now and patted his chest more insistently. “Skin! Not from head, from heart. Lilo’s skin. For Daren.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Whenever Lilo was upset or excited, his English tended to deteriorate, and he was clearly having trouble conveying what he meant. He blinked back tears from his eyes and took a long pause before asking, “If Daren can stay? Be with Lilo? Daren want, yes?”
“Yes, I would if I could. I want to. I… I love you, Lilo.”
Lilo’s face lit up in wonder—for a moment. “But Lilo wrong.”