Chapter 20 Rohak
Chapter Twenty
Rohak
Aheadache throbbed behind my eyes, its cadence timed perfectly with the elevated thumping of my heart.
I pushed fingers against my closed eyes, desperately pleading with whatever deity was left in the ether to lessen the constant pounding.
Either no gods were available, or none were left to listen, because the relentless pain never abated.
We’d been in the study for hours, poring over maps and data, accounts and details, trying to create an accurate picture and assessment of what remained of Vespera.
But numbers and words could only show so much; I needed to be outside, fixing the damage with my own hands, assuring the people with my words, but the reality of my new position meant I was stuck here.
When I suggested leaving the manor earlier in our discussion, I was met with uneasy silence, each of the Mages and Vessels present having a quick rebuttal for that argument.
“You’re still recovering; we cannot risk an attack on you in this state.”
“The people of Vespera do not yet know that you survived. If you were to leave the protection of the manor without us first announcing that news, you’d start a riot and reverse whatever progress we’ve made in the city thus far.”
Both of those arguments, made by Ben and Sol respectively, were annoying yet tolerable. The one that cut me to the core, however, was when Faylinn uttered, “You’re missing your magic, Rohak. You can’t protect yourself any longer.”
The stricken look on my face must have unnerved the newly appointed council because they instantly turned their heads back to the data and figures, their voices louder than necessary in an attempt to drown any lingering awkwardness.
“Our best estimate is roughly one-quarter of the outer wall is missing,” Ben said, one large finger trailing down a paper detailing the damages to Vespera.
“How.” I was long past the time for pleasant engagement.
I opened my eyes in time to see the large Earth Mage shrug. “We haven’t been able to ascertain that yet.”
I groaned in frustration. “How have you not been able to tell?”
“If you’ve been listening, General, you’d understand that the damage to Vespera and our army was vast. That, coupled with the numerous deaths and complete decimation of our leadership structure, meant that we’ve been in basic survival mode for days,” Sol snapped at me.
I gave her a droll look in response to her tone, but didn’t rebuke her.
Tensions and emotions were running high, especially after I forced both Ben and Sol to read the names of each of the dead aloud and explain how they died.
Names of friends, lovers, and cadets were on that list. People that Sol had known since she was an unAwakened cadet; men and women that Ben trained with and grew to share camaraderie.
Felix wept openly when his previous roommate and Life Bonded Vessel were listed.
At one point, Asha’s trembling lip opened on a gasping sob, and she excused herself from the room for a time before returning with blotchy skin and red-rimmed eyes.
Apparently, her youngest brother was one of the boys listed as deceased.
All in all, it was a grim few hours as I absorbed each of the boys, girls, men, and women I’d failed to protect, and the night hadn’t gotten any easier.
“If you would just let me go see, I could coordinate the efforts better,” I growled lowly, shifting irritably in my chair.
I already expected the exasperated head shakes, but I felt like I had to suggest it again.
“I cannot sit here and simply listen to speculation. I need to be able to see it, feel it, talk to people who survived it. Assess the Academy for damage, decide the best course of action for training new recruits, and reassemble task forces that were broken. I cannot do that from this chair.”
The room was tense as they sat with my declaration.
“Send me.” Faylinn’s voice was quiet but sure. All heads swiveled in her direction.
“And how is that going to help?” Sol asked dryly to murmured agreement. “No offense, Rune Master, but you don’t have the experience or skills necessary to quantify the damage done.”
I bristled, ready to come to Faylinn’s defense, but relaxed once I noticed her languid posture.
Faylinn’s fingers traced an absent pattern on the pages laid out on the desk as she chewed her lip in thought.
“None taken, Sol. But our Bond is . . . different than I’ve recorded before,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “I passed him memories earlier today—that’s how he was able to explain in detail what happened after he fell in battle.”
Ben’s eyebrows rose fractionally at her admittance. He and his Bonded shared a quick, loaded glance before he spoke.
“Asha and I can’t do that,” Ben said in surprise as Asha shook her head. “And we’re fully Bonded.”
Faylinn’s cheeks pinked slightly as I sent her the memory of her naked in my bed, her curly hair fanned against the pillow, nipples taut and begging for attention.
Her hazel eyes flashed with a mixture of desire and exasperation before she closed the connection between us. I covered my mouth with my palm in an effort to disguise my sudden humor. Discussing death and destruction was neither the time to laugh nor be aroused.
Sol hummed, clearly not convinced.
“And how is that supposed to help?”
Faylinn shrugged, abandoning the random patterns she traced with her fingers. “I go and see the damage, talk to the survivors, and relay that information back to Rohak through our connection.”
She made it sound so simple, and I was disappointed that I hadn’t thought of that solution earlier.
Such a clever woman.
“Then, once we’re certain the city is secure, we can let Rohak out of his newly minted prison,” Faylinn teased with a wink.
Felix and Ben both chuckled lightly, but Sol’s expression seemed to sour even further.
“The king’s safety is not a laughing matter, nor is it a joke. Are you so flippant with your Bonded’s life and safety?” Sol’s cutting words sucked the air from the room. Faylinn’s expression immediately sobered as her eyes flashed in anger and indignation.
“Careful, Mage. Remember who put those runes on your body that saved your life. I can just as easily remove them.”
“Threatening a member of the king’s cabinet now?”
Faylinn smiled dangerously.
“Never. But if you want to throw titles around, remember that I’m the Rune Master to the king—the same king I am Bonded to.
Do not mistake my humor for not caring. I just happen to know Rohak well enough to understand that whether we permit him to leave the manor or not, he will find a way to see Vespera for himself.
Refusing him access to the city, to his people and soldiers, would effectively neuter him as both a ruler and a general.
You’d cut him off at the legs before he even had a chance to stand. ”
Sol growled but closed her mouth when Thandi squeezed her shoulder with intention.
“I’m not saying to let him wander without a guard. I’m simply stating that, at some point, he will need to leave the manor and see for himself. Just because he is without magic does not mean he’s incapable.” Faylinn’s words were soft at the end.
“The Rune Master has no innate magic, and she is one of the most powerful people I’ve met—man or woman, Mage or not,” Felix added, his quiet voice breaking the mounting tension in the study.
I cracked my neck before pushing to a stand.
My muscles groaned and my joints protested the sudden movement, my age belaying my relative health.
Feeling the need to move, I crossed to the opposite side of the room, studying the titles of the books that lined the shelves.
The sun had long passed its zenith, though the beams streaming through the window were still strong and warm.
“Rohak? What are your thoughts?” Ben asked.
I sighed, my eyes tracking the various titles etched into multicolored spines but not absorbing any of the words.
As much as I wanted—needed—to see Vespera for myself, I couldn’t deny that there was merit to Sol’s argument.
I appreciated Faylinn’s faith in me, but Sol was right—I was magicless now; completely powerless and at the whims and mercy of everyone else.
It would be prudent to adjust to the gaping hole where my power used to live before venturing outside into potential danger.
I’d relied on my magic for decades—even now, knowing it was no longer there, I reached for it just to feel the ashes and embers dance along my skin.
“I agree with Faylinn.” My back remained to the group, but I could feel an argument coming from Sol even before she uttered a word.
I held up a hand to stall her tirade as I turned around.
“I am not just agreeing with her because she is my Bonded. I trust her. She will go and observe the city, speak to our people, and relay the information to me. I have . . . things that I need to investigate here. The rest of you should return to the Academy and continue to coordinate the relief efforts. I would like a healing quadrant established immediately, as well as temporary housing for those who were ousted by the gods’ destruction.
We will also need to coordinate meals in the mess hall for all those affected.
Ben, Asha, Felix, I will leave those objectives to you.
Sol and Thandi, I want instruction to restart immediately at the Academy.
Our soldiers, the young, unAwakened cadets, especially, need a sense of routine and normalcy again.
Provide that for them. Once I have reviewed the information with Faylinn, we will reconvene. ”
There were words of assent, though Faylinn looked hesitant.
“Faylinn? Something to add?” She chewed her lip slightly.
“I would like to help Asha with establishing the healer’s area when I return. It will help me feel . . . helpful.” A myriad of emotions passed across her face before landing on determination. I knew even without the newly formed Bond that she would fight me on this if I said no.
For some reason, Faylinn needed this, needed to help those who were physically and mentally scarred by this attack.
Her experiences in Isrun definitely played a part, but I couldn’t help but feel there was more to her desire; a speculation that was only enforced when she tightened the hold on her emotions down the Bond.
Interesting.
I rubbed a hand across my jaw, noting that the stubble I usually kept was growing into a longer beard.
“Granted,” I said as I scratched my cheek.
“Go now. Get as much area canvassed as possible this afternoon and evening. I want you back inside the manor’s wards before nightfall.
” My eyes flitted to Sol quickly. “Find an Earth Mage that we can spare to accompany her.” My tone brokered no argument.
As much as I needed to know what was happening in the city, the protective instincts I felt toward Faylinn eclipsed most else right now.
Everyone, save Faylinn, pushed to their feet, offering bows and muted platitudes before they left, shutting the door quietly behind them, leaving her and me alone together once more.
“If you want to start today, you need to get moving soon,” I said gruffly, suddenly needing to fill the space between us with words. “I meant what I said, Faylinn. I need you back in the manor’s wards before nightfall.”
She nodded once, wayward curls bouncing around her face, as she moved to join me near the bookshelves.
“He was hiding secrets here,” she mumbled quietly, her eyes looking but unseeing as they flitted from one book to the next. “I’m sure of it, even if I could never discover what they were.”
I grunted in agreement, my gaze always drawn to her.
The sunbeams caressed her skin in such a way that she seemed to glow.
Her normally dark hazel eyes were lighter, and I could nearly pick out the individual colors that swam in their depths: amber and mahogany, flecks of green and gold.
Even her hair wasn’t a singular color—some of the strands glinted bronze in the afternoon sun while others were as black as night.
I was so utterly enamored with this woman.
“Alois was a man of many secrets, and this was his domain. I’m certain there’s more than one skeleton in here,” I agreed wryly. “It’s why I’m going to tear this place apart while you’re out there. I will need something to distract me for the next few hours.”
Faylinn finally turned to face me, her face a mask of worry. “Rohak, at some point you’ll need to talk about losing your magic, about Alois’ and Gisei’s deaths. I felt that agony, Rohak. You cannot live with it alone.”
I ignored her words, even if they were wise and accurate. Thinking about the death I caused was enough to bring me to my knees. But there were other more important things that had to be done first before I could grieve.
“Thank you, Faylinn. I will keep that in mind,” I said even as my soul begged to share the burden with her. Faylinn frowned slightly before gently squeezing my arm as she turned to leave.
Instinctively, my hand shot out to her waist, pulling her back to me. “Please be careful out there,” I whispered in her ear, delighted when goosebumps broke out against her neck.
Faylinn gave a singular jerky nod before she gently extracted herself from my grip, though I didn’t mistake her blown pupils as she pulled away.
“I’ll report back what I see. If you find anything interesting in here, please let me know.” I nodded my head in agreement just as Faylinn turned and fled.
With a sigh that echoed around the silent space, I moved to the bar cart to pour myself a second glass of the nearly empty decanter. I swirled the golden alcohol in the tumbler before taking a small sip. The whiskey was good, but not anything close to the level of what Hestin produced.
I tunelessly tapped against my glass, my other hand shoved loosely in my pocket, as I approached the shelves once more.
There was something more to these bookshelves, I could feel it.
Haphazardly, I pulled various tomes from their shelves, hastily shoving them back into place as I searched for something—anything—that would clue me into Alois’ thoughts and actions.
A particularly well-worn spine caught my eye, its deterioration and obvious use a stark contrast to the near-pristine covers that filled this particular shelf.
As soon as my finger pulled the top of the book toward me, I heard a soft thunk and watched in fascination as the whole shelf seemed to sink into the wall by an inch or so.
My heart raced, and I wiped sweaty palms down my pants before pushing the bookcase to the side to reveal a small alcove recessed into the wall.
“What were you hiding, old friend?” I murmured quietly.