Chapter 38 Lex
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Lex
“It’s getting worse,” Ilyas grumbled, the hardness in his tone attempting to conceal the panic and desperation.
I couldn’t speak, the shaking in my limbs too great, as I recovered from yet another Mage Sickness-related seizure.
Ilyas sat by my bedside for each one, ocean eyes growing progressively darker with worry as I convulsed, muscles locking and body spasming for agonizingly long minutes.
Luckily, I would fall unconscious beforehand and had no memory or recollection of the seizure—just the residual headache, body aches, and Ilyas’ overwhelming sadness that followed.
“I-I-I’ll b-be f-fine,” I slurred, my jaw finally unlocking, even though my tongue remained fat and heavy in my mouth.
Ilyas huffed, studying my face as if trying to find a miracle, before reaching for a glass of water on my bedside table.
“Drink,” he commanded, and I obliged. He tilted the wooden cup to my lips, taking care not to spill a single drop.
“I d-don’t d-deserve y-you,” I said, relaxing back onto the pillows with a sleepy smile.
I was always worn out and exhausted following an episode and knew I’d fall asleep within minutes.
“Stop that,” Ilyas admonished, setting the cup back on the table a bit harder than necessary so water sloshed over the edge. “Stop the self-flagellation. We’ve been together for decades, Lex. You deserve me just as much as you deserve every happiness in this world. Just as much as you deserve her.”
A tentative knock on our door paused my rebuttal, and I flung my gaze to the door as it cracked open.
“Lex? Ilyas?” a feminine voice I’d know anywhere called from the hallway. “Is now a good time?”
Ilyas couldn’t conceal his surprise at Folami’s arrival, but a slow grin split my face.
I knew she’d come. Despite the fact that she’d avoided Ilyas and me since Peytor left with Ellowyn, I knew Fate wasn’t done with the three of us.
“Come in, Folami,” I called, my voice soft and raspy.
Her head poked in first, shrewd gaze assessing the interior, before her whole body followed. She closed the door with a quiet snick but retreated no farther into our room.
“What can we help you with, ayaba?” Ilyas asked, trepidation covering a hint of hope.
Folami twined her hands together before dropping them to her sides, mouth opening and closing again before her gaze found me, propped against a dozen pillows and tucked neatly beneath the fluffiest white comforter I’d ever seen.
“What happened to you?” she barked, her harsh tone conveying the depth of her care.
A dopey grin spread across my face despite my condition. “Nothing just—”
“He has seizures. Sometimes twice a day now,” Ilyas interrupted, refusing to make eye contact with me.
“What?” Folami’s attention turned to my Pleasure Bonded, and I grumbled a half-hearted noise of frustration. Ilyas sliced his gaze to me, imploring me to remain quiet.
“He has seizures.”
“Yes, I heard that. But why?”
“From the Mage Sickness.”
Folami shook her head. “He’s overdrawing from you?”
“You misunderstand,” Ilyas chuffed a laugh. “He’s under-drawing. It can cause the same sickness as if you overdrew. Nose bleeds, tiredness, dizziness, seizures. Eventually, it will kill him.”
Folami frowned, eyes skating over my prone form as realization dawned.
“From your missing Pain Bond,” she whispered, fingers dusting over the scar on her exposed upper breast where her Bonding Mark once sat.
I nodded once.
Folami’s fingers fell away from her chest to grip mine on the bed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” There was pain and frustration along with a hint of pride in her voice.
“Because I didn’t want to worry you,” I admitted, squeezing her hand. “I didn’t want this to influence your decision. It is, and always will be, your choice to Bond. I wasn’t going to take that from you.”
“No matter how desperately he needs it,” Ilyas added rather unhelpfully.
Folami’s cheeks twitched with the beginning of a smile before it fell completely, but there was no sadness in her expression.
Just a hardened resolve and a hint of desire that had my heart quickening.
She took a deep breath and released it slowly before speaking again, her voice rattling with confidence and not a hint of trepidation.
“I want to,” she said so quietly it was almost indiscernible. But Ilyas and I heard her, nonetheless. My Pleasure Bonded sucked an audible breath between his teeth.
“Say that again,” I rasped, clutching her hand like a lifeline.
“I want to Bond with you. If you’ll have me,” she added unnecessarily.
“Yes,” I said immediately. “But not if it’s because of this.”
Folami shook her head. “No. I’d already made my decision earlier today. Peytor left to give me space to think and I . . . found the clarity I needed. But I have some stipulations.” She rushed out the last part like I might say no.
I could never tell her no.
I nodded for her to continue.
“If Peytor comes home and wants me or decides to join our . . . group, he’s given that opportunity.”
A smile erupted on my face at her request. It was one of the things I loved most about her—she put others before herself and would not sacrifice the love of another just for something that could be better.
“Agreed,” I said instantly, easily, my cock twitching at the thought of Peytor joining us for all sorts of . . . group activities. The twinkle in Ilyas’ eye said he thought the same.
“That’s it,” Folami said, and I barked a laugh. She bristled a bit, but relaxed once she saw I meant no harm.
“Folami, you could have demanded the world, and I’d have found a way to get it to you,” I admitted. “That is the easiest request I could have ever granted, truthfully.”
Her cheeks flushed a pretty dark brown as she nodded her head.
“I do have a request of my own?”
Folami’s eyes clouded for a moment before she hesitantly nodded.
“I want Faylinn to perform our ceremony.” Ilyas’ brows rose at my words. This was something I’d kept private. Faylinn was special to me—there was an unbreakable bond we shared in blood, and to have anyone else complete the Bonding ceremony for Folami and me would simply be wrong.
Folami laughed lightly, squeezing my hand as she finally relaxed onto the bed, curling into my side. My whole body warmed where she touched me, goosebumps erupting on my skin as my soul sang with the knowledge that our True Bond was next to us.
Her fingers traced lazy, random patterns in my chest hair as her breath coasted over my exposed skin.
“I guess we’re going to Bond, then,” she said quietly, pressing a tentative kiss to my cheek.
It was so chaste and small, but felt like the start of something big—cataclysmic, even.
Despite our fledgling connection, it felt ancient.
We may have barely begun to get to know each other, but we would have the rest of our lives to grow and evolve together.
Ilyas moved to my other side, curling a protective arm around us both.
I sighed, completely content for the first time in my life as I closed my eyes, surrounded by their warmth.