Chapter 55 Rohak
Chapter Fifty-Five
Rohak
“Was that . . . Kaos?” I asked, blinking rapidly.
The god was elusive, not to mention dangerous, and nearly the same obsidian as the Academy.
If not for the faint glow of Faylinn’s Mage Orb and the rumble of his voice as he made a parting remark to my Bonded, I never would have realized he was here.
That potential was beyond worrisome.
A rogue god that we couldn’t see or track? One that was taking the liberty of appearing at random before potentially planting lies in Faylinn’s head?
Brow bent toward my eyes, and steps hurried by my jumbled thoughts, I strode toward Faylinn, her hunched posture illuminated by the thin beam of light trickling in from the hallway.
. She sat, brows drawn inward, staring at the spot Kaos last occupied, refusing to acknowledge my presence even as I drew closer.
The dark circles and dullness of Faylinn’s eyes were more prominent than ever, but even more troublesome was the hollowness to her cheeks, the shake of her fingers.
Ever since the attack on Imena that forced our allies to flee into the mountains before reaching the safety of Alvor, she’d flung herself into research, hellbent on discovering something that could help us win the war against the gods.
The fact that she was no closer to finding answers than she was months ago weighed heavy.
“Faylinn,” I mumbled when I was finally close enough to reach out and run my thumb down her cheek.
She’d been careful—too cautious, in my opinion—about maintaining her distance from me sexually.
If it weren’t for the lust and want that periodically slipped through her well-constructed walls, I’d think she truly didn’t desire me or this Bond.
True to her darkest, innermost feelings, Faylinn sucked in a breath at my touch, her skin prickling with faint goosebumps.
“Rohak, tell me about that day,” she said, eyes finally finding mine.
“Which day, Faylinn?” I asked, my hand dropping away from her face to land in her lap as I crouched down.
“The day the Valley fell. The day Alois massacred the Keepers.”
Chills erupted down my spine before heat exploded in my veins, the combination causing sweat to suddenly bead on my brow and down my back.
Two decades, and I still could hear their dying screams and pleas for mercy that would never come; could still smell the acrid smoke as their bodies and homes burned, Fire Mages wielding terrible power.
Two decades, and I could still feel the blade as it bit into the Matriarch’s neck, slicing through sinew and aging flesh as hot blood spilled on the floor, covering my boots and the stone beneath.
The nightmares stopped but the memories remained.
“Why?” I croaked. “Why ask now?”
It was no secret that I was involved with the massacre, had helped plan the entire operation as Alois’ General.
But despite Faylinn’s thirst for knowledge, she’d never asked about that fateful day. Never wanted to peek behind the curtain to the darkness beneath.
“I’ll tell you, Faylinn, but I need you to promise me something,” I husked.
She nodded once. “Anything.”
“Please . . . don’t think differently about me,” I pleaded, eyes wide and beseeching. Something moved in her expression, an understanding and softness that I didn’t deserve.
“Never, Rohak,” Faylinn whispered solemnly. “Never.”
Faylinn sighed, tension easing from her posture as she gripped my hands.
At some point during my story, she’d slid from the chair and climbed into my lap, wrapping her limbs around me in comfort.
Her heart beating against mine, the heat of her body, the smell of her hair, all of it calmed, helped me trudge through my retelling, no matter how much I longed to simply stop and forget.
“I’ve never spoken about that day with anyone,” I realized as I absently stroked her hair from where it’d come loose from its bun. My fingers wove through her curls, tangling and snagging at points, but I calmly detangled them before combing through her locks once more.
Faylinn lifted her face from my chest. Her large hazel eyes were bright with emotion and a hint of reverence that I thought would be squashed completely after bearing witness to my sins.
“Never?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“Seems like an awfully long time to hold something as heavy as that, Rohak,” Faylinn admonished slightly. I hummed in agreement.
“Who would I have shared that with? Everyone that was close to me was there that day, wrestling with their own demons. It would have been unfair to burden them further.”
“Lex,” Faylinn said immediately, recognizing the person I spoke about. I nodded. “Maybe, once this is all over, you need to speak with him about it. The guilt he holds, Rohak. It’s perhaps deeper than yours, even.”
My fingers paused in her hair as I mulled over her words. Did Lex truly harbor so much responsibility for what happened that day? And, if he did, how had it not drowned him? How was he still so . . . Lex?
“Don’t think too hard on it,” Faylinn said, patting my cheek lightly as she rose from my lap, causing my hand to fall from her hair.
To my surprise, she stood just enough to spin so we were now pressed chest-to-chest, the heat of her core branding my lower abdomen.
Reflexively, my arms wrapped around her back, pulling her flush until the space between our bodies evaporated completely.
My forehead fell to hers as I gazed into her mesmerizing eyes, the flecks of deepest forest and brightest sun twinkling in the light.
Faylinn’s breathing was low and even, though I felt the erratic thumping of her heart.
She wasn’t nearly as unaffected as she liked to think.
My dick twitched involuntarily, and I chuckled when Faylinn’s eyes widened briefly in recognition. She moved to extricate herself, but I only banded my arms tighter.
“Stay,” I commanded, her body stilling immediately. “Stay,” I said again, softer, pressing reverent kisses to her forehead.
“I have to leave, Rohak,” Faylinn whispered, her breath fanning across my face. A growl slipped from my throat, my chest reverberating against hers.
“No.”
“Not now. I meant tomorrow, or soon. I need to go to Deucena.”
I hummed, cocking my head slightly. “Why?”
Faylinn paused, taking the moment to twine her fingers through the base of my hair and massage my scalp. I groaned at her touch, my skin on fire for her.
“I think it’s past time I have a conversation with the Bondsm—my mother,” she said.
I tensed before relaxing once more as her hands moved to the muscles in my shoulders, kneading the tense flesh there.
“And Kaos said I need to take Ellowyn with me when I go . . . search for information.”
“So that’s what Kaos said to you,” I said, slightly relieved that it was nothing more.
“He’s . . . not what I expected,” Faylinn admitted quietly. “I’m still not sure I trust him, but I don’t think he’s working with his sister, for what it’s worth.”
“What makes you say that?” The idea that the gods could be separated, that they had different goals, was a sliver of hope in an otherwise bleak landscape.
“He wants me to find the knowledge Alois and Solace tried to bury. He also . . . needs my help with something”—she held a finger to my lips when I tried to interject—“no, he didn’t tell me what or when, but it didn’t feel malicious.
There was almost a . . . sadness to him? It’s the best way I could describe it.”
I nipped at the pad of her finger before kissing it quickly. She let it fall back to my shoulder as a fiery blush stained her cheeks.
“Okay,” I said, closing my eyes and burying my nose in her neck.
“Okay?” Faylinn asked incredulously, frantically pushing on my forehead before grasping my face in her hands, maneuvering me to where she could see my expressions.
“Okay?!” she repeated. I shrugged.
“I trust you, Faylinn. More than anyone or anything else. If you say he is harmless, then I believe you. If you say you need to go to Deucena and have a conversation with your mother, then I support you. If you need to bring Ellowyn and leave me here? Then I will be grumpy beyond measure because I simply want to be close to you at all times, but I will understand.”
Faylinn gazed at me dumbly, mouth agape and blinking rapidly.
“You truly mean that, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I don’t say things I do not mean,” I said simply. Faylinn’s mouth still gaped open, and my cock twitched again at the sight.
“Close your mouth, Faylinn. Or I’ll put something in it,” I rasped.
Faylinn’s eyes dilated as her chest rose and fell rapidly with panted breaths. My eyes darted to her chest, where I could barely see her nipples, hard and straining against the black fabric of her tunic.
The Bond pulsed and writhed in my chest as if it could sense both our desires and pushed for us to do more, to complete it. I’d been brazen lately, projecting carnal images subconsciously while we slept, our nearly naked bodies twined together.
But that was in our heads and not a physical manifestation. There was an all too real possibility that Faylinn would withdraw again.
It was growing more difficult by the day to reject the Bond’s desires.
Each morning, we pretended my physical reaction to her closeness didn’t exist, despite the heat and wetness I could feel between her thighs as she straddled my leg in her sleep.
The attraction was there—it was beyond obvious to both of us in more ways than one—but something repeatedly held her back from me.
I wanted to break through that final barrier and hold her, finally, as my own.
Forever.
I groaned as Faylinn ground herself against my straining erection, her breaths quickening with each sway of her hips.
“Maybe I want you to put something in it,” Faylinn whispered, her eyes widening slightly as if she almost couldn’t believe she’d admitted that thought out loud.
My hands came up to grasp each side of her face as another groan left my lips.