Epilogue
“L iam Hemsworth can kiss my azz …” Alex slurs, almost knocking himself over as he raises his bottle of Stone IPA in the air.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve said that before,” I tell him, then add, “ A lot .”
“And I’m pretty sure you meant ass ,” Cigs adds.
Varsha sips her beer audibly as she glances sideways at Alex, who gives Cignette a droopy glare.
“Since when did you become an English professor?” He jabs.
“The moment you decided to mispronounce one of the easiest words in the dictionary,” she retorts.
“Is azz even in the English dictionary?” Alex wonders as he taps his fingers over the bottle’s head. I’m assuming he does it more to himself than to us since the question isn’t anything more than a mumble.
Varsha ruffles his hair. “You are so drunk right now,” she tells him.
His shoulders slump inwards as he smiles lazily. “I know.” He takes a big swig from his bottle, then burps before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “But I love it.”
Varsha laughs, and Cignette and I follow suit.
The four of us are sitting in the customer parking lot directly in front of Finesse . The street we’re on is commercial, and it’s reaching midnight, so the quiet around us is a reprieve. Also, it’s a little warm, so deciding to spend time with my family outside our shop tonight has worked out well.
Alex and Varsha are on the other end, sitting next to each other with their backs to the former’s Jeep , whereas I’ve got mine pressed against Cignette’s pink Cadillac , with her sitting between my thighs.
“I still can’t believe it’s been over a month since our Lutkus assignment,” Varsha says, then glances around at us. “Am I the only one in thinking that that job changed something in us?”
I shake my head. “You’re definitely not alone.
” I empty my beer bottle and grab another one that Cigs has already opened for me.
“I like to believe that I’m more…I don’t know, aware because of what we faced.
Everything that went down at Aras’s estate sure was something none of us have encountered; our missions before have involved much less upheaval.
But then again, we never got on the radar of any of the Riverside mafia families, so maybe that’s why. ”
“I’m pretty sure Eddie is the head of a mafia family, though,” Cigs provides.
“Eh.” Alex waves a dismissive hand in front of his face. “Eddie’s a friend, so he doesn’t count.”
Varsha chuckles. “Of course he doesn’t.”
Cigs leans back on my chest, and I suppress a hiss when her shoulder presses against my bandaged left pec.
“I agree with Dor, though,” she says, taking a small swig from her gold-and-white Une Femme can.
“I’ve definitely gotten more cautious about things; I analyze situations differently.
I always think twice before making a decision, or even before I agree to do certain things for YouTube with fellow influencers.
In a way – and that’s just my experience – that night heightened my sense of precautionary safety, and sometimes when I think hard about it, I don’t know if I should be upset or grateful for it. ”
“You’re right,” Alex states, then sighs.
“I’ve found that I’m not so unsure of myself as I was before.
I believe I can do things, and I do end up achieving the goal I set for myself.
It’s a good change, I think.” He downs more of his beer.
“But in saying that, I still have mixed feelings about our client. I’ve yet to decide whether I’m thankful to him for signing us on for that mission, or if I wanna curse him and his future generations with infertility for it. ”
Varsha all but whips her head at him. “You know, for a moment there I thought you were on the sensible path with what you were saying, but then you had to go and crush my hopes by spewing that nonsense.”
“What?” He grunts and straightens up a little. “What did I say wrong?”
“ Everything? ” Cignette adds before Varsha can.
“Exactly,” Varsha agrees.
Alex glances between the two women. “I am so confused.”
I take a much-needed swig of my beer. “If you curse Aras with infertility, then he won’t have kids to begin with, Alex,” I explain. “So, the part where you mentioned his future generations getting cursed? That’s illogical since there wouldn’t be any future generations at all.”
“But that would only happen if my curse worked , Ledge,” he has the audacity of saying.
I glare at him. “My God, why did I even try ? You’re fucking drunk .”
“Wow, thanks for pointing that out, Sherlock Holmes,” Cignette muses, then continues to sip on her sparkling wine.
“This is ridiculously childish, I hope you guys realize that,” Varsha comments.
“Well, he started it.” Cignette gestures at Alex for emphasis.
“Yeah, go ahead and prove me right, why don’t you.”
I start to laugh, but it morphs into a groan when I’m hit with a sharp elbow to my rib. It takes a couple of seconds for me to draw a proper breath after that, but I don’t end up vomiting beer on Cigs’ hair in that time, so at least that’s good.
“That was impressive,” I whisper in her ear when I’m sure I can speak.
She turns just enough so that she can look at me. “Act sassy again and I’ll impress the fuck out of your midsection.”
I grin. “I look forward to it.”
“You guys think Jayce and Maverick would have approved of us getting tangled into this mafia ruckus?” Varsha asks, pulling Cigs and I’s attention to her.
“Fuck no,” Alex says, at the same time Cigs says, “ Absolutely not .”
“I’m pretty sure they’re up there judging the hell out of us, cursing our very existences and what not,” I add.
Varsha chuckles. “I can imagine it. They’d be all…
” She places her beer bottle on the ground, then straightens her back and folds her arms across her chest. “ What the fuck is wrong with these idiots? Insufferable dimwits. Do you see that? They think they can outsmart the mafia . Yeah, tough luck, amateurs. Foo –”
“Okay, stop, stop ,” Cigs cuts her off. “First of all, that is a violent exaggeration of Mave’s behavior. And–”
“And second of all, Jayce never used that many words in a sentence,” Alex remarks. “Heck, he never used so many words, period .”
“Well, I tried,” Varsha argues.
“It was…adequate,” I tell her. “Try harder next time.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Why, fuck you, Ledge.”
“I miss Jayce so much,” Alex voices, then scoffs and scratches the top of his head before downing the rest of his beer. “I know we survived the Lutkus estate fiasco, but I think we’d have done so much better if he was with us at the time.”
“I feel like if he were here, he wouldn’t have agreed to let us take on those kills to begin with,” I state.
“Jayce was always keenly aware of the possibility of danger and potential casualties that may be involved in every mission we’ve taken on in the past. He just had an instinct for these things, despite us having trained together. ”
“He always said you were all gas and no brakes,” Alex tells me, then smiles ruefully. “But he loved that about you. Said your impulsive behavior kept him going.”
I laugh. “I don’t know if I should take that as a jab or a praise.”
“It was Jay, Ledge,” Varsha reminds me. “Of course it was a compliment. It couldn’t have been anything else.”
“I didn’t know him like you guys did, and I’m so mad at our circumstances for that, but the short period I did know him for, Jayce was nothing but caring. Grounded and observant too, which is so rare in a person these days.”
I swallow the burning lump in my throat. “Yeah, he was the best.”
“He really was,” Alex says. “So was Mave. He cared so much for us all, even though he wasn’t always fond of some of us. He understood what needed to be done, and didn’t hesitate in doing it. I know he was in it for you, Cigs, but he did end up becoming a part of our family.”
Cigs clears her throat, and I feel her head bowing forward as she whispers, “I know. He was amazing, wasn’t he?”
“Hey.” I gently wrap an arm around her middle, careful not to put pressure on the area I’d cut her two days ago, then press a kiss on her temple.
“I’m sure he’s relieved, sweetheart, knowing that you’re safe; knowing what he did has kept you alive.
Remember that you’re honoring him with every breath you take. ”
She turns a little before giving me a small smile. “ Thank you ,” she mouths, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
I kiss her back. “I gotchu, Little Swan.”
The four of us fall into a comfortable silence, listening to the distant hooting of owls and the occasional chirping of crickets. The air is starting to turn chilly, and helps in soothing my slightly heated skin. Cignette sighs as a strong wave of wind blows by us, scattering the gravel beneath us.
The sharp pop of a beer bottle being opened meets my ears, making me look ahead.
Varsha hands Alex a bottle, then grabs one for herself before raising it in front of her in a toast. “To Maverick and Jayce,” she announces.
“For being selfless bastards who will forever hold a place in our hearts, and our lives.”
“Hell yeah!” Alex raises his bottle, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “To Jayce and Mave.”
Cigs and I join them. “To Jayce and Mave,” we say together.
“And to Dorran, who is most definitely going to win his match against Aras this Saturday,” Varsha states.
“ YES! ” Alex cheers. “To our very own Seth Freakin’ Rollins!”
“But isn’t he a wrestler ?” Cigs asks.
He shrugs lazily. “Meh, semantics.”
Varsha rolls her eyes at him, but then smirks and places her head on his shoulder. “Never change, Alex,” she says to him. “Never fucking change.”
“Not over anyone’s dead body,” he assures her, then sets his head over hers.
I chuckle, then look down at Cignette when she turns around to mold her body into mine.
“Hey,” she whispers.
I run a knuckle over her smooth cheek. “Hey.”
“I am so glad you’re here with me right now,” she says. “And I’ll forever be grateful to you for bypassing my mother’s estate security to see me two years ago.”
“I mean, you did owe me money for that battery,” I point out, but only to poke her.
She groans, shoving me in the chest, which makes me grin. “You’re such a prick.”
“Excuse me . For all the distress you put me through, I have the right to taunt you every so often, alright?”
She clicks her tongue as she studies my face. “You’d be a complete catastrophe without me, Ledger,” she remarks, then pats my jaw. “I’ve pretty much saved you from that inflating head of yours, haven’t I?”
I touch the tip of my beer bottle to the base of my throat. “Of course you have, my Joan of Arc reborn,” I coo – or try to, at least.
Cignette laughs. “Damn it, Dor, I fucking love you.” She grabs the side of my neck and pulls me down for a kiss.
I laugh against her lips, holding her closer still as I bask in her taste, in her presence. “And I love you, Little Swan. I always will, no matter what.”
I know that I am one lucky motherfucker, because not only did I get to choose my family, but I also lucked out in getting the best of it.
The one I was born into tore me apart, ripped the very fragment of my childhood and turned it to dust. Meeting Jayce and Solo all those years ago was a true saving grace for me, and it was because of them that I realized how surrounding myself with people who care for me was necessary.
It’s a basic need – one every human being deserves to have.
While freeing, a life without friends and family isn’t complete.
You may think that it is, but trust me when I tell you that you more than deserve someone to be there for you.
Love isn’t pain-free, nor is it fullproof.
But unless you put yourself out there and give it a shot – a real one – you won’t know what it’s like to have truly lived.
So, take one step at a time and push yourself to try, because in this world, the opportunity for success is endless.
All you gotta do is have faith in yourself as you reach out a hand, and let the road lead you where you’re meant to go.
Because you are meant to be somewhere – more than you might allow yourself to believe.
T HE END.