8. Astraea
Chapter eight
Astraea
My sleep was not plagued by its usual nightmares—the demon-like creatures who stalk the night.
Instead, they dripped in crimson and shadows.
Death and destruction filled my vision in a cacophony of horror.
I was forced back into the dunes and the aftermath of my heartache: being ripped away, not knowing what has become of the people I left there in the sand.
The fact that Kyros was the one person who was still alive and an immovable support, even after everything around me was in ruins, is something I'm not sure I want to dissect from this dream— what the meaning could be—I’m not sure I would know what to do with.
But as I wake to Kyros’ heart beating at a steady rhythm under my ear, I know I just need to lay here a moment longer.
I allow myself to feel that I am still among the living.
It could also be that regardless of the anger I hold onto for what Kyros has done, my heart, even through its fragmented pieces, still holds onto something else.
Clenching my fists and squeezing my eyes shut, I pull back on the emotion.
Anger is safer. Anger will give me the strength I need right now.
I make quick work of getting cleaned up.
The bathing chamber has everything I need; though the soaps smell somewhat of Kyros, they do the job well enough.
When I return to the bedroom, the woman, Kensa, has clothing laid out on the now-made bed and is shuffling around a small table pushed up against the wall.
She doesn’t hear me exit the chamber, and when she finally does turn around, finding me standing close by, she lets out a choked shriek.
A plate in her hands holding an assortment of bread, cheese and meat crashes to the floor.
The ceramic shatters, and food scatters around on the wood planks.
“Great divine! I am so sorry!” She says, quickly dropping to her knees.
She is dressed differently today. The dress she wears is much more modest. Closer to what the handmaids would wear in Eathian.
Her gray skirt has a dark apron on the front, which she holds out and begins filling with discarded food and broken glass.
I, too, lower to the floor and help her clean up the mess.
She looks at me contemplatively but only gives me a small smile in thanks.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m sorry that I caused such a mess,” I say sincerely.
“Oh no, dear. I should be more aware of my surroundings. I will take this away and bring in more food for you. Lord Kyros has asked that when you are dressed and fed that you be brought to the stables. He and Lord Shayd will be meeting you there.” She stands, her apron cradling the pieces of the mess we cleaned from the floor, and she nods toward the clothes she laid out on the bed for me.
“They thought it would be best that you dress for freer movement. You can leave your soiled clothes. I can clean and save them for—”
“No need. Burn them. Thank you for your kindness.” I respond resolutely. She says no more but gives me a slight dip of her head before moving to exit.
“Miss? If you don’t mind me speaking freely?”
“Please, call me Astraea,” I say with a small smile, still gripping the towel that is wrapped around me at the chest. “And of course, what is it?” I ask.
“The men you are with… They are the best at what they do. Kind even, especially given their line of work, but you don’t seem like the type of woman who takes to the road often.
These girls, this town, Zameil—the realm—needs them.
” She eyes me speculatively, and I couldn’t feel more laid bare, even if I dropped the towel.
“I’ve never seen the brothers apart. Never seen Lord Kyros, so…
” Her words trail off as a look of discontentment floods her features.
She swallows hard with a shake of her head.
“He’s known to take care of his people and I can tell that you mean a great deal to him. Just—be careful.”
She can tell I mean a great deal to him?
By what? I have barely been in the same room as the two of them.
I don’t know how she would even come to that conclusion.
I can feel my anger rising at the implication that I may belong to him in any way.
I don’t voice my argument, though. Instead, I give her a polite nod and a closed-lipped smile.
It’s enough to satisfy her apparently, because she too nods, then steps into the hall, closing the door behind her.
I stare at the paneled wood for a moment, working over everything that she just said; my face wrinkles in thought before a shiver rolls over my skin, and I shake my head.
The clothes she left are unassuming. Black and deep gray, a wool-like material for the pants and cotton vest. They cover more than the tight clothing I was stuffed into by Zinya, at least, so there’s that.
There is also a cloak, much more fitting to my size than the one I borrowed from Shayd, and thankfully, not a drop of blood on any of it.
She also left me a thick pair of socks and boots that are much taller than any I’ve ever worn before.
Getting the leather straps that hold the blades I was gifted onto my body is getting easier.
I cinch the buckles comfortably before looking down at myself with a deep breath.
My eyes snag on the long mirror in the corner of the room, and I step closer to look at myself.
I’m unrecognizable.
My eyes are dark, much darker than usual.
The deep gray vest clouding the color of them and making them a stormy blue compared to what I’m used to seeing in my reflection.
Pulling my hair to one shoulder, I put my untamed hair into a plait and lift my chin.
Standing there, I try to convince myself with a stern look that I have what it takes to do whatever it is that comes next.
To get back to Colette. I will do whatever it takes.
The dark circles that are typically present under my eyes are still there, though they seem lighter.
I don’t know how much sleep I ended up getting before waking up in Kyros’ arms, but it seems like it was enough to give me energy and bring some color back to my face.
I give myself a moment longer to gather my thoughts before I fling the cloak over my shoulders and open the door to leave.
I suck in a sharp breath as soon as I move to step out into the hallway.
“Hi.” Maisy smiles, gappy teeth bared and eyes twinkling with mirth.
“Great divine, Maisy, you scared me!” I breathe out with a laugh.
“I was told to see if you were ready to go down to the stables?” She points over her shoulder with her thumb in the direction of the stairs.
“I am, thank you. Will you lead me?” I chew on my lip as my stomach growls quietly. Hopefully not loud enough to alert Maisy and give her reason to make a stop at the kitchen.
“Yep!” She grabs me by the hand and pulls me to the stairs, and we reach the bottom in no time.
My booted feet do feel a little stiff. The leather being halfway up my legs isn’t anything like the slippers I am used to wearing and is even more restricting than the boots I’ve worn, but I assume there is a reason for excessive coverage.
When we step outside, the sun is still up, though just. I suppose even if it were midday, the sun itself would still not be very visible through the thick gray cloud cover I’ve noticed Diemos offers.
The rain has stopped, but the biting cold seems to have just gotten colder with the day’s end near.
“Are you going to come back?” Maisy asks, and for a moment, I falter.
I don’t want to lie to the little girl, but there is no way I can know if I will ever see her again.
“The summer in Diemos is even better than spring. Lord Shayd said that when he returns, he would take me to see the whispering springs!” She smiles as she looks off into space, presumably imagining the springs she speaks of.
“It will be a journey. He said that the spring is at the base of a huge mountain range.” She pulls both of her arms out wide in either direction, showing me just how big she imagines these mountains.
“It’s too dangerous to travel there in the winter, but spring is when everything comes alive.
You should come with us. Maybe Mav—I mean, Lord Mavros—would be back by then, too.
” She leans in, lowering her voice to a whisper.
“Don’t tell anyone, but Mavros is my favorite.
” My lips quirk as I narrow my eyes out around us conspiratorially as I bump her shoulder with mine
“I think that sounds lovely, Maisy. I will do everything I can to see that I come back so you can show me what Diemos has to offer in the summer. I’m sure that I can convince Mavros to bring me.
” I give her my best wink that only Mavros accomplishes with flair, and she becomes absolutely radiant.
We reach the stable doors just as they open.
Kyros walks out leading a large dapple gray horse.
My lips part in awe at the creature's beauty. I’ve not seen one so stunning in person.
This horse has to be taller than any I have ever encountered.
Kyros barely gives us any acknowledgement as he wordlessly gives affection to the animal.
His large hands bracket the horse’s head.
He brings them nose-to-nose and rests his forehead between the animal’s eyes.
The gentleness brings an emotion that clogs in my throat, and I look away immediately.