Chapter 30
Chapter thirty
Cassia lingered in the shadows of the stables, the scent of old hay and worn leather settling deep in her lungs.
Snow dusted the edges of the wooden beams, and her fingers curled tighter around the edge of a stall door as she watched Bridget saddle a horse.
She moved like someone who’d done this a hundred times.
Saddling the mare, checking straps, adjusting the reins with quiet precision.
There was a calmness to her hands, a fluency to the motions that hadn’t been there before.
Cassia narrowed her eyes.
She didn’t think Bridget even realized what she was doing.
She wasn’t hesitating. She moved like the knowledge had always lived inside her bones…
like it had returned the moment the memories did.
Cassia had seen her fumble her way through most things in Elyria.
Now here she was, acting like she’d been around horses her entire life.
Which maybe was a good thing for where they were headed. Cassia’s stomach twisted again. Her hands hadn’t stopped trembling since she’d followed her father and the rest of the search party to the stables to get ready for their journey.
“We’ve already wasted too much time,” Bridget said, cinching the saddle with a final, purposeful tug. “It took me forever to find a damn cloak and boots.”
Cassia couldn’t make out Cade’s reply. His voice was too soft, threaded with worry as he approached. He said something under his breath, hand brushing Bridget’s back as he tried to comfort her.
But Bridget didn’t soften. She didn’t pull away… but she didn’t lean in either.
“At least Alexia is staying here. I don’t think I can tolerate her snide remarks right now,” she muttered.
Then, with a soft pop, the air crackled. Stellan appeared in the center of the stable like a gust of midnight wind.
Bridget whipped around. “Where have you been?”
“I was researching the blood spell Vega must have used on Finn,” he said, voice taut with urgency.
He held up the old grimoire. “The more we understand it, the easier it will be to find him and break the connection. She’s powerful, but she’s holding him from another realm.
That leaves signs, despite what you or her may think.
Dead trees. Dried snow. Things that appear out of the norm. ”
Cade stepped forward, brow furrowed. “Are you sure?”
Before she could hear Stellan’s answer, Cassia sensed another presence slipping in beside her. Castor. The air around them seemed to shift, just like it always did when he was near. She inhaled sharply and tried to remain focused on the threesome still whispering across the stable.
Castor didn’t speak right away. Just stood close enough to brush shoulders if she leaned slightly. Finally, he said, “Here, let me help.”
She watched him take the straps she had forgotten she was supposed to be adjusting and buckled them tightly around her horse’s waist.
“You’re still wearing those gloves,” he said gently, not quite teasing. “You remind me of Bridget last year.”
“At least her bare hands weren’t a threat to everyone around her,” Cassia said flatly.
“Cassia…”
“I don’t want to talk about me right now,” she snapped, softer than she meant. Her voice cracked at the edges. “Not when my brother’s life is on the line.”
“He’s going to be fine,” Castor said, his voice low and certain.
Cassia didn’t answer. She looked past him toward Cade and Bridget again, watching them move around each other like twin flames. The weight of everything that had transpired pressed heavily upon her heart. The pain, the choices, the past… had all led here.
“Everything’s led to this, hasn’t it?” she murmured, her thoughts swirling and escaping her mouth.
Castor’s brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”
“No matter what Cade or Bridget or anyone did to try and change the path… we were always going to end up in Cavamyne,” she said. “It’s like we’ve been careening toward it this whole time, without even realizing it.”
Suddenly, the past stretched out before her, in a way it hadn’t before.
Every misstep glared back at her… every chance they’d had to change course, every moment they could’ve chosen differently.
Guilt coiled along her spine. If she’d been braver, if she’d stopped running from what she was, maybe she wouldn’t feel so useless now.
Maybe she could have helped. Could have been more.
A long silence settled between them before Cassia added, “I’m sorry I pushed you away. Three years ago. I didn’t know how to be with you and fix myself at the same time.”
The pain of losing Riker sliced through her chest. But this time, she didn’t fight it. She let it linger like it belonged there. Castor’s eyes softened, but she didn’t let herself look away.
“I didn’t just lose Riker that day,” Cassia said, voice breaking.
“I lost my family. We splintered that day and never got put back together. I lost myself. I lost you.” She paused, then forced herself to keep going.
“I used to think I might hate Cade for leaving me here, but I’m beginning to see it was inevitable.
That him leaving was actually some stupid call to destiny.
That maybe even Riker’s death was just a push to get him to this point. ”
Her voice broke again, quieter this time.
“But if I’d just been braver… if I’d trusted you and let you figure out what I was sooner instead of hiding away, maybe things would’ve turned out differently.
Maybe Vega wouldn’t have Nylah or the Bloodstone right now.
Maybe we wouldn’t be standing here, practically letting my brother offer himself up to that damn Druid. ”
“You don’t know that,” Castor said gently.
“I do,” she whispered, the words trembling out of her like a secret she’d buried too deep for too long. Her eyes burned, but she didn’t blink. Didn’t look away. Then, after a heartbeat, she added, “I loved you, you know.”
The words were selfish. So selfish. But she couldn’t take them back.
She wouldn’t. Not when they might be marching into death.
Not when she might never get another chance to say the one thing that had haunted her every day since the moment she let him go.
He had to know what he meant to her. That he wasn’t the reason it fell apart.
That she was. She’d been too broken, too angry, too lost in her own pain to reach for him when it counted.
And now… now they were standing on the edge of war and she couldn’t help but think her weakness had been one of the first dominos.
Castor’s dark eyes met her eyes. The understanding there sucked the air from her lungs. “I know,” he said.
But Cassia wasn’t her anymore. And no matter how many pieces of the past she tried to pick up, she couldn’t stitch them back into what they used to be.
No matter how much she wished she could.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Castor’s outstretched hand, but she couldn’t take it.
Not without unraveling. So she ignored it, swung herself up onto the horse in one practiced motion, and stared straight ahead. It hurt too much to look at him.
Her gaze cut to Cade and Bridget, now mounted on their own horses, the wind tugging at their cloaks. She knew, without a doubt, they would do whatever it took to save each other.
Cassia tightened her grip on the reins. If it came down to it, she just hoped she’d be brave enough to do the same.