CHAPTER 27
Eve
A dam left for the retreat this morning and I don't feel as free as I thought I would.
I just feel his absence heavy in my gut.
I woke up this morning to his face between my legs and his mouth on my clit.
He brought me to climax with his mouth twice before gliding his weeping cock inside me.
He started out slow but quickly lost control, lifting up onto his knees and grabbing both of my thighs, using them as leverage against the battering ram that was his dick.
Between thrusts, he exclaimed loudly, "MINE" and "FUCKING MINE" before he came inside me with a roar of finality.
Eli gets home tomorrow, and I'm trying to keep my mind on that, so I don't feel too pathetic about missing my boyfriend.
I am really excited to see Eli. I've missed him so much.
Even more since the whole thing with Nathan.
When you have few people who care about you in your life, the one's that do matter a lot.
I mean, I have my parents, but there's always been something between us.
Sometimes, I feel like I wouldn't be in their lives at all if I wasn't Eden University material.
They want me to strive for more with volleyball.
It would make their dreams come true and justify putting up with me if I would just go pro.
Anyway, I can't wait to give Eli his welcome home gift. He's a big cinnamon roll and he loves gifts from the heart. He especially loves anything to do with Vaughn, so he's really going to appreciate this gift.
Vaughn was going to do a quiet welcome home at our apartment with just us, Eli's sister, his mom, and three of his friends. I've met all these people and, even though I'm not technically friends with them, I feel okay around them.
I quickly shot down the quiet night in that I know they were settling on because they wanted to include me. Adam is right. Vaughn is right. I need to push my limits or I'm never going to get better. None of that shit is even real anyway, right?
We're going to dinner at Eli's favorite steakhouse, Acre 41. After dinner, we're going to have drinks at Midnight Cowboy. It's a small bar and it doesn't get packed like Cornerstone does. Baby steps.
Maybe I'll make it to Cornerstone one day.
Maybe not. It's not that I even have the desire to go; and I'm just limited by my anxiety.
I don't want to go. I'm not curious about what goes on there.
It's truly not my scene. The thing is that I don't want to be limited by my fear.
Especially now with everything that I've learned recently.
If a friend wants to celebrate at a place like Cornerstone, I want to be able to go without feeling panic inducing fear, without my palms sweating and my hands shaking. I want to be free. I will be free.
Adam has no idea what our plans are. I know exactly how he would have reacted if he knew I was going to a bar without him.
Not just a no, but a hell no. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.
I haven't lied about our plans, and I will tell him when he asks what we did this weekend.
They aren't allowed to have any electronic devices on the retreat, so I won't have to worry about him finding out early and racing back to carry me out of there like an ass-spanking caveman.
The day goes by as usual. I've continued going to class sans hoodie.
I would like to say that I'm used to it and that I feel completely comfortable meeting the eyes of people in the halls but I'm just not there yet.
I mostly keep my head down and mind the business of everyone around me.
I'm hyperaware of footsteps and voices that get too close.
Keeping my keys in my pocket with a tight grip on them, I'm ready to wield them as a weapon at a moment's notice.
I did meet a new guy in one of my classes. I sat first, and he sat down beside me making casual conversation. I know I wasn't great company, but it wasn't terrible.
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It's finally Saturday, and Eli's party prep is in full swing.
We have a cake that we're taking to dinner and a plethora of hilarious signs to greet him with at the airport.
My sign says, 'Congratulations on Parole, I bribed the Judge'.
Vaughn's sign says 'three years is a long time, but I held this baby in for you through your whole incarceration.
Congratulations, Daddy'. The others are equally as clever and vary from returning from rehab jabs to 'I don't care that I'm your brother, let's get hitched'.
The signs are nothing compared to the costumes though.
I'm in a blowup dinosaur costume. It's basically the only way that I can handle the airport.
My face and body are completely obscured.
Vaughn's costume is what appears to be a very pregnant Peggy Bundy, cigarette and all. He's going to love this.
I'm dressed for the night out under my costume because Eli's flight doesn't get in until 7.
I let Vaughn take the reins on my outfit and she is mostly kind.
She'd have preferred that I wear a short black cocktail thing, but I don't own one and I can't wear anything from her closet.
Ultimately, she picks out a black mini skirt that still has the tags on it, a fitted white short sleeve tee tucked into the skirt, and black ballet flats.
I don't own any heels. I do have a limited selection of nearly new makeup products, but V has a Sephora in her bathroom, so she uses her stuff on me.
Red lips, smokey eyes, and bronzed skin.
I don't hate it. I might like it. I just don't know.
It's so...different. Vaughn tears up when she's finished, and the final product is revealed.
"I am so damn proud of you, Eve. Just so damn proud."
Fighting tears myself, I just smile back at her.
"I hate to credit that little dick car-driving asshole but, I have seen more positive change in you in the short time since you met him than I have in all the time that I've known you. I've failed you."
I attempt to cut her off because there's no way that she has failed me, but she stops me, holding up her hand and saying, "Just let me finish.
I failed you because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.
I don't understand what you go through, and I've always felt like there's more to it than just social anxiety, so I said nothing when you did the same things day after day.
I didn't encourage you to step out and try new things. I should've. I will. I love you, Eve."
She's never failed me, and I know learning about Nathan's deception really kicked her in the gut because she was already feeling undeserved guilt.
"You've never failed me, V. You have been my light in an otherwise dim world.
You and Eli are my family and I'm so thankful for your immediate and unconditional acceptance.
You two have been the sunshine on my bad weather days and I love you, V. "
We hug and sniffle for a while before we pull ourselves together and head to meet the others at the airport.
When we check the incoming flights, we see that Eli's plane is expected to land 15 minutes early, so we run from the parking lot.
Vaughn is desperately choking back laughter and making the necessary calls to make sure everyone makes it in time.
Apparently, I look pretty comical while running in my Tyrannosaurus Rex costume.
We're waiting at baggage claim with our signs and wearing our costumes when we see him. Eli. The teddy bear with a deadly undercurrent, Eli.
He's a big man. At least 6'3, but that's not what you notice first. He's broad.
Like Mack Truck broad. He has these shoulders that suggest he's spent every day of his life towing trucks with his bare hands.
He wears his dark blonde hair at nearly shoulder length and pulls it back.
He's covered in tattoos and that would all be pretty intimidating if it weren't for that beautiful, lovable smile that's a permanent fixture on his handsome face.
We all hold up our signs once we see him come down the walkway.
He's laughing so hard that his knees buckle.
He covers his face and picks up his pace.
Vaughn lowers her sign and their eyes meet.
Eli's face becomes serious, and tears are running down Vaughn's cheeks.
They both run toward one another. When they meet, she jumps into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and clinging tightly to him.
He stands there holding her with his face buried in her hair.
The rest of us stay back, giving them this moment.
They haven't touched in two months. They didn't even speak on the phone every day.
Their conversations were limited in some areas that he traveled through so he just called when he could.
I hope this was one of his last trips if not the last trip.
They deserve happiness. They deserve to be together.
They finally break apart and get over to us. Eli gives hugs all around and, when he finally gets to me, he wraps me up Big Bear style and lifts my feet off the ground.
"Missed you, Evie Bear."
"I missed you, Big Bear."
He ruffles my hair beneath the costume, and V smacks him in the back of his head.
"That took me nearly half an hour! Do you see the person under that costume? It's hair and makeup are perfect."
Eli just laughs scooping her back up and kissing her like no one is watching.
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