Chapter 24
Rohak
The door to Alois’ study shut behind Faylinn with an almost inaudible snick. Her departure caused my chest to squeeze and loosen simultaneously. Seeing her again, being in the same room as her, was both a relief and a frustration.
I admired her, respected her, and was inexplicably drawn to her.
But I was still undeniably angry with her.
Not over her actions, but because of how she went about them.
It still felt like a slap in my face, Life Bonding her ex-lover without his consent hours after I told her my rather strong convictions regarding Bonds.
She should have told me.
If she had warned me, there was still a good chance I would have been angry, but I would have understood. At her heart, Faylinn was an intellectual. A scientist. A researcher. I understood, respected, and maybe even loved her thirst for knowledge and understanding.
That part of her called to me.
I had six months to reconcile the woman I knew with the woman who willingly performed dozens of Life Bonds without so much as a peep of protest against the action.
I was convinced one of the versions of Faylinn was a lie, but I hadn’t spent enough time with her since my return to judge her character and sniff out the incongruities.
It was hard for me to trust her again.
It did nothing, though, to temper my desire for her.
Judging by the jumping my dick did just being in her presence again, I’d say my attraction to her was alive and well.
Tall and strong—her muscles were corded and firm from working with her hands. Her skin was a beautiful light brown that grew darker in the summer months but was light again this deep in winter. A head of wayward dark curls, and the most arresting hazel eyes.
Eyes that I knew held all sorts of secrets and truths.
She was an enigma and a comfort all at once.
“Was that really necessary, Rohak?” Alois sighed with exasperation, jolting me from my thoughts of the Rune Master. He padded over to the now vacant armchair before sinking into it with a huff, his head falling to rest against the back with his eyes closed.
My friend had lost considerable weight in my absence, either for his health or from the immense stress he carried. Once, I would have been concerned over the dramatic weight loss, but now, it felt like just due for creating his own problems.
“None of what I said was inaccurate,” I said with steel conviction, though my words were softer than earlier.
Alois scoffed, eyes opening to regard me.
“What happened to you, old friend?” he asked quietly, and I inadvertently tensed, my fingers clutching the whiskey glass, tightening.
“Everything and nothing, Alois.” My friend simply raised his eyebrows and gestured with his hand for me to continue.
“There is so much that concerns me, Alois. In Hestin, in Lishahl, in the Stepstones. In Vespera. It’s like the walls of Elyria are closing in on us, and we’re sitting here, drinking stolen Hestin whiskey and talking about your wife. ”
I shook my head and laughed sardonically.
“It feels like we should be doing more.”
“And what do you suggest we do?” Alois asked. “It’s not like I haven’t tried to combat those issues, but there is way more in play here than you could possibly understand, Rohak.”
His comment wasn’t condescending, but I still felt chastised. Like I lacked the intelligence and importance to know his secrets. Alois had always been like this—secretive and closed off—though it’d only gotten worse with age, and I was growing frustrated.
“How am I to be your second, your heir, if you won’t tell me everything that is happening? How can I possibly do my job to its fullest extent?” I pried, and Alois sighed loudly. “I am still your second-in-command, aren’t I?”
“Yes, Rohak. That position will always belong to you. I don’t plan on conceiving an heir.
I don’t think it’s even possible. Even if it was, I’ve left the option of intimacy up to Ellowyn.
So far, she hasn’t approached me about it.
Nor do I expect her to,” he admitted, and I covered my shock as best as possible.
“You’re not sleeping with her?” I asked, confused.
“Once,” he admitted darkly. “I needed a way to taste her blood—to discern any truths hiding within. I found nothing.”
I fought a grimace—I was well acquainted with the darker aspects of Alois’ ability to discern truth from lies, but never figured he’d use it on his wife.
“You . . . bled her?” I asked tentatively.
He scoffed. “Never been with a virgin before, Rohak?”
My ears heated at his insinuation, and I squirmed in my seat.
“But you are no longer sleeping with her?”
Alois barked a laugh. “Do I look like a man who’s getting laid on the regular, Rohak?”
I smirked as a recognizable piece of my oldest friend surfaced.
“No, I guess not. You do look like shit,” I teased, hoping to keep this version of him for a while longer.
Alois shook his head with a small smile.
“It’s not easy moving pieces to be five steps ahead of your opponent,” he admitted as he finished the whiskey in his hand before setting it on the table next to him.
“Are you ever going to tell me what those are?”
Alois shook his head, a tint of frustration and shame tinging his movements.
“I can’t, Rohak. If I do, it could destroy the path that we’re currently on. It’s best if you just keep making moves as you see fit.”
Silence hung in the air between us, thick and heavy with things unsaid and questions unanswered.
I missed my friend.
“I have another meeting I have to attend to,” he admitted softly but with authority.
I sighed, rubbing a hand down my face.
“More important than discussing the conditions in Hestin? Or the recent collapse of the mines? Or the whispering of movements of the gods?” I asked wryly. Alois’ lips thinned into a line as his eyes whizzed about, more erratic than I’d seen the entire time tonight.
“When the gods call, I must answer.” He sounded annoyed and resigned. The reappearance of Kaos had to have taken a toll on him, and I wondered if he had extended contact with the god. But it was simply another unknown.
So much was said in this room over the past few hours, yet not nearly enough.
“We’ll reconvene here, first thing in the morning, Rohak. I need to hear everything; where we stand, what your next moves are, so I can . . . plan accordingly.”
I gave him a curt nod, recognizing the dismissal for what it was. Standing from my chair, I set my empty glass down in the bar cart before crossing the room to the exit.
“Rohak,” Alois called as my hand was on the door. I paused out of respect for my friend, not necessarily because I wanted to hear what he had to say. “Do you trust me like you did when we were younger?”
I sighed, rolling my shoulders as I contemplated my answer.
“No.” I paused. “I don’t. I would love to, Alois. More than anything. But there are too many years between then and now, too many secrets. I trust you like a general trusts his lord. Like a friend trusts another. But not with the blind trust and love I once had, no.”
Alois hummed thoughtfully.
“Hestin changed you.” He paused before turning to face me fully. “It’s good. You’re going to need it in the coming days.”
With that, he turned back to the fire, effectively dismissing me.
I left the study feeling even more off-kilter, more on edge than I was when I entered.