Chapter 33 Rohak
Rohak
It was hours after I stormed into my room, and all I could think about was Faylinn.
My Destruction Magic snaking toward her trapped form.
The hitch in her breath when she noticed.
The softness of her skin against my forearm.
Her scent of pine and paper.
The way she sagged against me.
Her body pressed against the wall.
How I could feel her chest heave against my own with every breath.
The thought of wedging my thigh between her legs, pressing my body against hers, my mouth on her mouth . . .
Faylinn, Faylinn, Faylinn. It was a repetitive cycle of guilt and arousal when I thought about the near miss tonight.
I could have killed her.
I also could have kissed her.
Instead, neither happened, and I ordered her to return to her room.
Like she was a child.
Groaning, I ran my hand down my freshly washed face and shook my head slightly, desperately trying to rid my consciousness of thoughts of her.
My dick jumped in my black pants, attempting to get my attention and some sort of relief—even if it was from my own hand. But I refused to pleasure myself to thoughts of Faylinn. Especially when she hated me, and especially when I almost killed her tonight.
I should apologize—to her and to Lex.
My position was never one where I had to apologize often, and I could count the number of times I’d actually apologized on less than one hand.
Alois back when we first started working together.
Lex before entering Alois’ torture chamber.
Lex after his Awakening.
And now, apparently, I was contemplating adding Faylinn to the small list.
She’d be in good company, I supposed. There was no one I valued more in this life than Alois—or at least that used to be true—and Lex was like the little brother I never got to see grow up.
Faylinn, though. Faylinn was neither a friend nor a sibling. She was . . . a colleague? An object of desire? An absolute force of nature?
I shook my head at the errant thoughts before striding into my militaristic, sparse sitting room, my feet intent on carrying me to Faylinn’s room.
What would I even say?
“I’m sorry” seemed almost immature and wasn’t nearly the type of apology that was warranted, and not just because I almost killed her. I also regretted my behavior toward her when she Bonded Ben and, again, when I sent her away from Hestin.
My words always seemed harsh and less than adequate around her, even if my silence and reticence never seemed to bother her during those late nights we worked together in my office.
And now my cock was twitching again with the memory of Faylinn laying on the floor of my office with her legs bent, hair strewn around her head. It would have been so easy to just spread her knees tonight and push my body between them . . .
I shook my head with a growl before striding purposefully to the door.
Checking the lone mirror in this room that I forgot to remove, I ensured that all traces of blood were wiped from my face.
Content that I showed no outward signs of the sickness that erupted tonight, I pulled the handle of the door, only for a figure to crash directly into my chest when the door was pulled open fully.
“Oof!” the offender said as their hands came to land on my chest, their lower half coming in direct contact with my still semi-hard dick.
What the hell?
Instinctively, my magic jumped to the surface of my skin, ready to defend my life, and I felt a heaviness in my nose in response.
Fuck.
I quickly pushed my magic back and out of reach, but the damage was already done. In a matter of moments, I’d have blood gushing from my nose.
“General! I’m so sorry. She just snuck past us, saying something about a cat and fish? And before we knew it, she was pushing on your door . . .” Wache, one of the Mages guarding my door, explained in a rush, his cheeks red with embarrassment and frustration.
I cocked an eyebrow at him, extremely unimpressed with his inability to restrain a small female from entering my room.
“This is the best you could do, hmm?” I asked dryly, and his ears pinked further.
“Oh don’t be so ornery with him. It’s really me you should be angry with—I’m the one who broke into your room, after all.”
That voice.
That voice.
I inhaled deeply through my blood-clogged nose and, predictably, detected notes of pine and parchment.
Faylinn.
One gaze down at the woman in my arms told me that it was her. And, for some reason, she sought me out. After the run-in tonight and my caustic attitude toward her all these months, she came to me.
I couldn’t help my reaction if my life depended on it. My arms instantly swirled around her, pulling her tight against my chest.
She let out a little “oh!” as I drew her in closer, pressing my face into her hair in the same movement.
“Faylinn,” I growled.
“Uh, yeah. That’s me,” she mumbled into my chest with a pat against my arm.
The clearing of a throat pulled me from my uncharacteristic show of affection, my brain finally registering that my door was still open and there was a Mage standing a few feet away, watching the entire interaction.
Without releasing Faylinn, I pinned a cold gaze on the Mage.
“Speak of this to no one,” I commanded, and watched as Wache dipped his head in assent.
“Yes, of course, General. Of course. I’ll just . . . I’ll just go back to my post.” He thumbed sheepishly over his shoulder with a nod.
“You do that,” I called to him. “Oh, and Wache?” He turned to face me. “Please make sure there are no more . . . disturbances tonight.”
Wache’s cheeks resembled the sunrise over the eastern part of Vespera. He stuttered something before turning his back to stand vigilant outside my door again.
Let him think what he wants. He wouldn’t talk, I was sure of it. While he may have been incompetent at keeping Faylinn from my rooms, I knew the woman in question possessed a unique form of wiles and, inevitably, she would have found a way into my rooms regardless.
I shut the door with my foot, arms still holding Faylinn to me, with a resounding bang.
“I was just coming to find you,” I said, and felt Faylinn stiffen against my chest. “To apologize. For almost killing you. And other things.”
Faylinn pushed against my chest, and I reluctantly let her go. She took a giant step away from me,
“That’s interesting, because I was just coming to apologize to you.”
I blanched, but Faylinn ignored my expression. Her hands twisted together, and her eyes closed as she took a deep breath.
“I owe you an apology for what occurred before and after forcing the Life Bond on Ben,” she said, her voice steady but subdued, her eyes now unwaveringly focused on mine.
“It was not my intention to do something that made you so uncomfortable, especially after everything that you admitted to me just hours previous.”
I remembered that moment well—Faylinn was only the second person I’d ever opened up to regarding my convictions about Bonds.
“It wasn’t meant as a betrayal. I simply didn’t think, just acted.
I . . . knowledge excites me. Especially when it’s something that’s been hidden for centuries.
And, when I discovered the Life Bond mark and found a way to save my .
. . friend, it was like nothing else mattered.
I didn’t think of the repercussions or ramifications.
Which, in hindsight, I should have,” she whispered with a shrug.
Her knuckles were white as she continually twisted her fingers together.
“It, uhm, I’m not sure if I should be telling you this, but I’m going to trust you like I did before .
. . well, everything.” She laughed self-deprecatingly before muttering her confession.
“These Life Bonds. They’ve gotten way out of hand.
Turned into something that is a twisted and deformed version of Ben’s Bond.
They don’t feel right. Performing the marks?
It makes me sick to my stomach—completely drains me.
I feel weak after just one Bond, even though there’s no advanced Mage Sickness that I can detect in any of the Mages. ”
Silence hung between us at her confession, and I nearly physically recoiled in shock over both her apology and her admission.
I’d had my suspicions about the Life Bonds, but being sequestered in Hestin for the last six months, I couldn’t do my own investigation. It was also something I couldn’t ask Lex to do, though I needed to ask him if he’s noticed anything off about the newly Bonded pairs.
Especially after Faylinn’s observations.
“I have a whole journal”—Faylinn reached into her belt—“with all of my observations and thoughts. They’re different, I know they are, I just can’t figure out why.
I mean, I have guesses, but nothing concrete.
I think I need to visit the Academy library, but I’m not even sure where it is.
And I wouldn’t even know where to start once I got there. ”
I stared at her as she rambled, her eyes unfocused, a small crease in her brow as she tried to solve the puzzle only she could see. It was refreshing to see her like this again, like I could finally take a full breath.
I was right. It was such a relief to know that my initial thoughts and feelings for Faylinn were correct—she just wanted to help people, however that happened.
There was no malicious intent, no thought for personal gain.
Only concern for those she treated and, apparently, concern for my thoughts and feelings.
A warmth grew in my chest as I stared at her lips as they moved to form words that I couldn’t hear.
“. . . and I would like to access some of the records in the Academy, see if there’s anything recorded about the effects I’m seeing.
And dig into some of the annals as well .
. .” Faylinn trailed off as she noticed my intense gaze.
I took a purposeful stride toward her, intending to take her beautiful, intelligent head in my hands and kiss the words right off her lips.
But her next question stopped me cold.