Chapter 41
Faylinn
The Academy loomed over me as I stood on the walkway, craning my neck as far back as I could in order to view the building in its entirety.
It was massive.
A large, black stain on the landscape of Vespera. So dark that it seemed to suck the very light from the air.
My breath caught at the sheer magnitude of the Academy—it was one of those things that was so large that I felt unbearably small.
Like an ant would look at a human. The obsidian stone glittered softly in the bright light of the day, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was a deception; a pretty mask to cover what hid inside its doors and halls.
I shivered involuntarily, goosebumps creeping over my skin—not from the cold of the air, but rather the anxiety that caused my heart to race and fear to be a palpable thing.
My palms sweat, and I hastily wiped them on my black pants—the same ones each soldier and cadet wore.
I’d even donned the boots that Rohak brought me before he left for Hestin, the cold runoff from melting snow too much even for my feet.
While it got chilly in Isrun, it was never this cold.
My breaths formed little clouds as I panted through my fear.
The longer I stood and stared, rooted to the spot, the more I felt my confidence draining, my will and desire to see within the Academy’s vast library depleting.
Subconsciously, I scratched my arms where a litany of small, silver scars adorned them in a nonsensical pattern.
Some crisscrossed, others were long and parallel.
There was no rhyme or reason to my injuries, and I still couldn’t remember how—or when or why—I’d gotten them.
It was like there was a wall in my mind that blocked my consciousness from recalling anything prior to my arrival in Isrun.
I’d spent countless hours pounding against that wall, attempting to circumvent it in any way I knew how, but no matter what I did—no matter the words I spoke, the meditation I attempted, the runes I inscribed pointlessly on my skin—the wall never moved. Never so much as glitched.
It was as impenetrable and forbidding as the building towering over me.
Maybe that was why I hated this building so much? It reminded me of the wall in my mind.
Or maybe it was something more sinister.
Or maybe I just fucking hated the black stone and ridiculously intricate architecture.
I scratched urgently at my arms, the feeling of my nails biting into my skin through my tunic grounding.
I’d done hard things, survived more than my fair share of hardships.
Why the hell couldn’t I just walk inside?
Frustration bubbled just beneath the surface, and I wanted to scream.
“Are you going in?” a voice asked from just behind me, interrupting my spiraling thoughts.
I whirled to face its owner. Lex climbed the stairs, Ilyas walking in step while Sasori trailed slightly behind.
I felt my body relax in his presence, the tension oozing from my muscles, as he drew even with me.
“Hi, Lex. Ilyas.” I shot them a small, weak smile, clutching my arms tightly around my midsection.
Abruptly, the smell of coconut enveloped me as Lex wrapped his arms around my body. I breathed deeply, his scent calming my racing heart. I untwined my arms and wrapped them around his midsection, squeezing tightly.
“Thanks,” I breathed into his neck even as I heard Sasori scoff loudly behind us. “That helped,” I admitted as Lex finally released me.
My cheeks pinked slightly from his attention, but he smiled softly at me, gently tucking a stray curl behind my ear.
“Pleasure Mage, remember? I know when others’ emotions need a bit of a boost,” he admitted with a wink.
I laughed lightly before turning back to face the Academy, scratching my scars as I did so.
“Yes, I’m going in,” I said, trying to infuse more confidence than I felt. “I just can’t seem to get past the door.” The tips of my ears heated in embarrassment, but Lex didn’t seem to care. He simply nodded as if he understood my irrational fear.
“It’s just a building,” he said, “made up of stones and wood. It’s not the structure you have to fear, but what’s inside it.”
Well, that’s not ominous.
At my obviously wide-eyed expression, Lex’s face lit with humor as Ilyas chuckled. Sasori simply huffed.
“Lex, we have a meeting. And training,” she practically barked, shifting from foot to foot, clearly ready to end this conversation. Lex’s shoulders tightened fractionally before he forced a smile at the woman.
“I’m aware, Sasori. I’m the one who teaches here, if you’ll recall?” There was a slight bite to his tone, and she stiffened in response. Even Ilyas looked slightly uncomfortable with the interaction.
I just stood dumbly watching it all.
“Let me take you to the General, then we’ll be on our way. Sometimes I find my fears easier to overcome with someone else,” Lex said gently with a softer smile aimed in my direction.
I gulped.
“H-how do you know I’m meeting with Rohak? And . . .” I trailed off.
Lex shot me a sad smile, only the right corner of his mouth tipping slightly before dropping altogether.
“The General and I are close,” —another scoff from Sasori— “and he asked that I help you inside, if you were still stuck out here when I came in for the day.”
“Oh,” I replied dumbly.
“Yes, ‘oh,’” Sasori snarked before pushing past Lex and climbing the stairs, disappearing through the shadows into the depths of the Academy beyond.
“You’d think after riding so much dick last night she’d be in better spirits,” Ilyas mumbled, and Lex laughed loud and genuine, startling me.
“Ilyas,” he admonished through his chuckles. “You know she’s just . . . dealing with things.”
“Yes. And not well, I might add. I know, personally, that I am completely happy and thoroughly sated after last night,” Ilyas said with a heated gaze at Lex that started and ended at his crotch. Lex adjusted himself openly before smacking Ilyas lightly on the back of the head.
“Enough,” he admonished with little heat. “Let’s get Fay inside.”
We climbed the steps slowly, the Academy enveloping us in its dark shadow.
It was colder, if possible, as we ascended, but I pushed down the feeling, desperately trying to cling to something that wasn’t all-encompassing fear.
My skin began itching in earnest again, and as I reached to scour my arms with my nails, Lex reached across for one of my hands, covering it with one warm palm.
He squeezed slightly, grounding me without a word.
A zing of something shot up my arm at his touch and I nearly jolted in surprise—it wasn’t attraction or arousal like I felt with Rohak. More like my body—my blood—knew his.
“I’ll tell you about it sometime, if you’d like,” Lex said as we walked through the Academy doors, hand-in-hand.
I nodded mutely, completely lost in thought.
Lex said nothing more, clearly understanding that a million thoughts were cascading at a rapid pace through my consciousness. He just squeezed my hand a second time and directed me through the doors into the entryway of the Academy.