Chapter 47 Rohak #2
“Because of what came next and the narrative around it.”
Faylinn chewed her lip but nodded for me to continue.
“Samyr was our first mission, Alois and I. We were deployed with a few other Mage task forces to help bring the conflict to heel. It was our first real taste of death—of war. It was like something inside each of us shut off as soon as we entered Samyr. We were . . . we were a formidable pair, and it was quickly clear that the others in our group preferred to follow our orders rather than our commander’s.
Our Taskforce secured the outside of the capital, Kiluo, before Alois used his previous knowledge to infiltrate the manor.
Within hours, he’d found the acting lord and . . . removed him from power.”
“Killed him,” Faylinn added, and I nodded curtly.
“Yes. And publicly. It felt personal, his actions. After that, Samyr quickly came to heel, but the damage was done. There were very few Mages left, especially in the upper castes. Once Alois’ identity was discovered, many of the remaining advisers wanted him to take his birthright claim, but he refused, having set his sights on ruling in Vespera.
Instead, he plucked a man from the lower caste and put him on the throne with the promise to aid in Alois’ bid for the seat in Vespera when the time came. ”
“And did he? Help, that is,” Faylinn asked.
I nodded again. “Though there were some other deals struck during the takeover that further entwined the two together. Most notably, Alois requested the Keeper from Samyr’s court be housed in Vespera.
An odd request, but he’d trusted the man since he knew him from birth, apparently.
In exchange, Alois would leave Samyr to their own devices regarding the Vessels in their territory.
Alois wouldn’t request or force any of them to Bond, but Samyr would send a few every so often as a gesture of goodwill. ”
Faylinn cocked her head. “When was the last time a Vessel from Samyr was Bonded to a Mage in Vespera?”
“Roughly sixteen years ago; d’Hida sent one of his daughters—a Pain Vessel—to Bond.”
Faylinn frowned even further, trying to piece everything together.
The situation was strange, even to me, and I long ago stopped trying to find meaning where there was none.
Though, judging by the thoughts clearly spinning behind Faylinn’s eyes, she thought there was more to the story than face value.
“And who did she Bond?”
“Lex. She’s Lex’s Pain Vessel.”
Faylinn made a noise of interest in the back of her throat before leaning back against the chair.
“Funny that the only double Mage in existence is Force Bonded to Lord d’Hida’s daughter, don’t you think?” she mused.
The headache pounded behind my eyes as I tried to think why that piece of information was important.
“Maybe,” I hedged, and Faylinn hummed softly again as she stared unblinking into the dancing flames of the fireplace.
After a moment of silence, Faylinn shook herself from her stupor before turning back to me with a wan smile.
“Thank you for that history lesson. I’m not certain I’d find that in any of the books in the Academy.”
I smiled roughly. “Most likely not. That is definitely a piece of history that has been relatively forgotten. Except for those who lived it.”
“Seems like Samyr is due to give another Vessel to Vespera, then,” she added, and my gut sank at her implication and pivot in conversation.
Sighing deeply, I fiddled with the blanket on my lap, exhausted and strung out even though the conversation hadn’t even started.
“Yes, especially since Alois declared in no uncertain terms today that I am to take a Vessel from Samyr. There’s a trade coming up—we give some of their Vessels back in exchange for new ones—and my Vessel is to be part of that swap. ”
I should be happy—Faylinn was giving me the opportunity to find a True Bond, something I’d been adamant about for as long as I could remember. But all I could think about was that whoever I Bonded wouldn’t be her.
Faylinn’s mouth twitched as she reluctantly nodded.
“I have a list here of all the current UnBonded Destruction Vessels in Elyria. Or at least the northern half. I have them separated by age, gender, and location, if you’d like to take a look?
” She tentatively held the piece of parchment out to me, her condensed chicken scratch covering the entire page.
“I added little notes or thoughts about each one, too,” she confessed sheepishly.
The paper dangled between us like a poisonous snake, and when I didn’t reach for it, she gestured with it, causing the paper to crack and crinkle with the motion.
Expelling a heavy breath, I unfolded my hand from beneath the blanket and shakily reached for the parchment.
I was careful to grab the opposite end away from Faylinn’s hand because I knew if I touched her in this moment, if our skin happened to brush, I wouldn’t be able to make the choice to save my life.
My eyes scanned the page, reading but not absorbing the names in front of me.
Faylinn had taken painstaking care in trying to find a Vessel that had a family that also shared my belief system, but that was always difficult to discern through parchment and data alone.
The words swam before my eyes, the letters blending together until all I could see was a blob of black handwriting.
I scrubbed a hand down my face to clear my vision but simply thrust the list back at Faylinn.
“Just pick for me,” I said gruffly as the paper fluttered to the floor between our chairs. Faylinn scrambled to pick it up, frowning as she smoothed the page.
“Uhm, why?” she asked.
“Because I trust you,” I said with a shrug. Her light-brown cheeks pinked prettily before she offered me a sheepish smile.
“Oh. Okay,” she said as her eyes darted to the page in her hands. “Do you prefer women? Or men?”
“Women,” I gruffed quickly. I could appreciate the male form, but I found no sexual attraction to men—a difficult thing to overcome when the Bond needed to be sealed through sex.
“Sure.” Faylinn made a quick note on her page, crossing off a few lines and circling others. “Age preference?”
“No children,” I barked, and Faylinn looked slightly appalled that I’d even suggest she would put children on the list.
“Everyone is over the age of twenty-four, Rohak,” she admonished slightly, and I winced at the ice in her tone.
“Sorry. This is just a lot for me.”
Faylinn’s face softened at my admission before turning back to the list in her hands, making a few more notes before circling and underlining one final name.
“I think we’ll go with Gisei, then. She’s twenty-eight and still living with her parents. She’s from an upper-class family, so maybe they’d be more open to Bonding their daughter?” There was hope and skepticism in her voice, but I found my interest in the whole affair draining rapidly.
“Just make the choice and plan the whole thing. I don’t care. Truly,” I bit out, and Faylinn slumped slightly.
“I know this isn’t what you want,” she said after a few moments of silence.
“I know you’d rather find your True Bond naturally.
But . . . Rohak, you’ll die if you wait any longer for a Bond.
” Her voice took on an urgency I’d never heard from her before, and I slowly turned my face from the warmth of the fire only to see anguish written on her features.
“I’ve already lost enough people in my life that I care about.
Do not ask me to lose you, too. Or be forced to make a decision that would make you hate me for the rest of our lives. ”
“I could never hate you, Faylinn.” The truth came unbidden and hurried, my need to assuage her fears high. “When you Life Bonded Ben to Asha, I was frustrated, disappointed, even. But underneath it all, I understood your reasoning, and I never hated you for it. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
She smiled slightly, her features relaxing minutely with my words even as she picked nervously at her bandages.
“I care about you, too, Faylinn. And I’d rather not die if that meant I would upset you,” I tried to joke, but the humor fell flat.
“It’d be wildly inconvenient, considering you, Lex, and now Ellowyn are my only friends here,” she said with a small smile, and my chest warmed at the motion.
“Is that what we are, Faylinn? Friends?” My voice took on a raspy quality as I thought about wanting to be more than friends with her.
Faylinn laughed loud and bright. “Yes, Rohak. I think we’re friends.”
I smiled, though there was a slight, painful edge to it.
If friends was all I could be with her, I would take it.
Even though it would pain me to see her with someone else.
Because, eventually, she would be with someone.
Faylinn was smart, resourceful, intelligent, and beautiful.
The fact that no one else had seen that yet was astounding to me.
“Care to tell me what happened with Lord d’Refan?” Faylinn hedged, and I shook myself from my thoughts, surprised at the abrupt turn of conversation.
“What?”
“Well, considering we’re friends and all, I just figured friends should tell friends what happened tonight.”
My lips quirked in a smile before they fell again.
“I’ll tell you if you tell me more about your research?”
Faylinn chewed her lip again, and I longed to remove it from between her teeth. At this rate, she’d have no skin left if she continued gnawing on it. Hesitantly, Faylinn nodded.
“Yes. But what I will tell you has to stay between us. It’s . . . important. A secret between friends.”
I nodded my head in agreement. “A secret for a secret.”
I’d take all her secrets and keep them safe until my dying breath.