Chapter 54
Torin
“Felix, return to the gates and inform the remainder of the guard to be on the lookout for any other rebel sympathizers that might try to come through with the refugees. Double the searches and use magic, if necessary, to ascertain the truth,” the General barked at a poor, confused Felix, both men’s eyes still trained on me.
I slowly lowered my hand to my side when it was clear the General was not going to shake it.
“No, wait!” I exclaimed, stopping both Felix and General d’Alvey in their tracks. “It’s . . . not what you think.”
“You’re not a former general for the Last Keeper’s armies?
You didn’t organize a coup within your own soldiers to split the rebellion in two and threaten us from both sides of Elyria?
You’re not here to either recruit Mages to your cause or fish for information to send back to your rebellion in hopes of eradicating our way of life? ”
I flinched at his cold and even words before shaking my head slightly.
“Then what is it?” he barked, drawing the attention of a few other nearby Mages and Vessels.
“All of that is true, yes,” I admitted, and General d’Alvey growled, taking a menacing step closer to me. I held up my hands in a placating gesture, nearly touching his chest in the process. It was a nice chest, but I was decidedly not interested in men. “But it’s a long story.”
“Best you start talking, then,” he said, but leaned away from me.
I blew out a breath before letting my hands fall to my sides.
I was a lord in my own right, I could do this.
“All of that is, or was, true, yes. But I’m here, now, to enroll in the Academy. The rebellion is . . . we don’t see eye-to-eye any longer,” I began weaving my tale, thankful that the Warlord wasn’t here to read my lies.
“And I’m just supposed to trust you,” General d’Alvey asked, raising one eyebrow in skepticism.
“No. When Lord d’Refan returns, subject me to his questioning,” I boldly stated and was rewarded with a surprised expression from the General and Felix alike.
“Humph,” the General said before narrowing his eyes in thought.
There was a pregnant pause where the General eyed me warily, his brilliant green eyes stormy with thought.
“Felix,” he finally sighed, “please show Lord d’Eshu to a room and ensure that he is outfitted with everything he will need to train at the Academy.”
I smiled slightly at his change of heart.
“Thank you—” I started, but he shook his head.
“Best to stay under the radar for a while. And I highly recommend not showing your face to Faylinn. She still hasn’t forgiven you for what you did in Isrun,” General d’Alvey growled lowly.
“Oh, Faylinn! I know her mother, I’m supposed to—” General d’Alvey strode quickly into my space, flattening his palm over my mouth in a move faster than a viper.
“You are not to utter her name. If you must, you may call her by her title: Rune Master. If, by some godforsaken reason, you must call her something else, you may call her Fay and only Fay,” he hissed lowly.
I nodded my head against his palm and he quickly released me, but I swore I heard him utter under his breath, “Faylinn is mine.”
Touchy about Faylinn, good to know.
With that, he quickly strode away from me and further into the belly of the Academy.
“Well, that was fun,” I said dryly to Felix, my nerves still firing from my encounter with the General.
Felix huffed a small laugh before gesturing for me to follow him.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, Torin d’Eshu. Especially if we’re going to be roommates,” Felix called over his shoulder.
I smiled to myself, both at Felix’s affable nature and at the fact that I’d encountered the General and survived—again.
This plan might work after all. I just needed to not think of these Mages as people or view Vespera as a place of refuge.
Easier said than done.
I dutifully followed Felix to his—our—room on the fourth floor of the Academy.
As we walked, Felix explained that the first two floors of the Academy were reserved solely for classrooms and other mass-use rooms, like the armory and mess hall.
The third floor was devoted to instructors’ offices, with the remaining three floors reserved for living quarters.
The highest floor was comprised of suites given to Bonded Mages and Vessels.
Though, with the quickly multiplying numbers of Mages Bonded to Vessels, some of those living arrangements had trickled into the lower two floors.
Felix stopped about halfway down the hallway outside of a nondescript wood door that looked alarmingly similar to every other door we passed.
There was a small Mage Orb set into the wall that unlocked the door when it recognized Felix’s signature.
We stepped inside and I was greeted with more black stone and unoriginal furniture.
What is this place’s obsession with black?
“I’ve taken residence in this half of the room”—Felix gestured to the side directly across from the door nearest the singular window—“But this bed and desk are now yours.”
I gazed at my new living situation, slightly surprised at the plush-looking mattress and clean, white sheets. It was larger than I expected, too, and all of the furniture looked well-maintained.
My eyebrows rose a bit as I took in the rest of the space—a small fireplace dominated one wall while a washing basin rested directly next to it.
“We have to use the communal showers and toilets down the hall,” Felix continued while I catalogued each part of our shared space. “We rotate latrine duties every day; ours is the third day of the month. Lucky for you, you just missed it.”
I smiled slightly.
“Why don’t you have a roommate, Felix?”
The older man’s shoulders slumped a bit as he fiddled with the cuff of his tunic.
“We’re generally matched by affinity—it’s easier for training and schedules—but my previous roommate was much younger than me.
He was one of the first to be offered a Life Bond, so he now lives with his Bonded two floors above.
” A wistful smile crossed Felix’s face, and I felt myself softening toward him again.
It was clear that Felix was the type of person who enjoyed, maybe even needed, companionship.
“Well, I’m not a Pleasure Mage,” I said as I sank onto the edge of the bed, “but I can promise that I won’t be Bonding anyone in the near future.”
Felix’s eyes brightened and he smiled again.
“That’s . . . wonderful to hear, Torin. I have missed the company.”
Silence fell for a moment before the quirky Pleasure Mage perked up again.
“Oh! We’ll go back downstairs in a bit to get you fitted for your Mage blacks and standard-issue boots.”
Goodbye individuality, hello conformity, I thought bitterly.
“What’s with the black obsession?” I asked, and Felix tilted his head thoughtfully.
“A few reasons, I’d presume. The first being that conformity, sameness, breeds a sense of oneness.
An even playing field, so to speak. No one is above another, no matter what life we had before joining the Academy.
Second, it’s easier to blend in while on missions.
Black is less obtrusive than more traditional colors.
Plus, it hides the blood well.” A semi-feral grin overtook his face for a moment, and I nearly laughed at the change in his personality.
“It’s also incredibly slimming.” The grin disappeared and he winked lasciviously at me.
This time, I did laugh. Felix chuckled along with me.
“I’m grateful for you, Felix. You easily could have turned on me when the General outed my previous . . . occupation. But you’ve been nothing but accommodating,” I said honestly.
Felix’s mirth disappeared, his lips forming a thin line as he dropped onto his bed.
“I’ve learned over the years that our circumstances or past lives don’t always define us as a person.
Everyone deserves a second, or even third, chance in life.
It’s what we do with that gift that truly defines who we are as people,” he said quietly, almost reverently, and I suddenly wanted to know what this man did earlier in life to have this kind of outlook.
“Not all here will be as forgiving as me or the General, make no mistake,” he continued, his bright-brown eyes holding my own.
“Many here lost friends, family, lovers to the machinations of the Last Keeper and her generals. The pain is still there; a festering open wound that was never healed or cleaned. I have no doubt that, if given the chance, they’ll take their fear and pain out on you, no matter if you deserve their wrath or not. ”
I rolled my lips between my teeth. The fact was, I probably would deserve whatever punishment those who lost someone could dole out. I’d orchestrated dozens of attacks, personally killed hundreds of Vesperan soldiers. My hands were stained a permanent crimson with all the blood I’d spilled.
I’d never regretted my position, or past decisions—until now.
Killing for the Matriarch was easy when it was just a sea of faces—people who would stand in opposition to our desires and way of life. But now, when there were names to faces, stories and desires, it made my breath catch in my chest and sternum ache.
How many fathers had I killed? Mothers? Lovers?
The thought nearly made me sick.
In that moment, I wished I was more like Folami and could tune my emotions out, even shut down to a large extent; hold onto some sort of hate and hurt.
But I couldn’t; I wasn’t wired that way. Soon I knew that Folami’s iciness would melt and the reality of her actions would come crashing down. Hopefully, at that point, we were well away from Vespera and out of the firing range of an angered Warlord.
Or maybe our plans should change completely . . .
I knew Peytor wanted me to make contact immediately, but I needed time. Time to sort through the messy thoughts and emotions that nearly suffocated me upon my arrival.
“Come.” Felix stood, slapping his thighs.
“More time for introspection and existential crises later. For now, I need to get you outfitted and show you the rest of the Academy. Explain the procedures. That sort of thing. Your classes are mandatory and will start as soon as Mage d’Talionis returns from the field, which could be tomorrow or could be a week from now. Best to always be prepared.”
With that, I followed Felix out of our room again and down the staircase to the remainder of the Academy. We passed and spoke to a variety of Mages and Vessels, most of whom greeted me with a smile and a kind, if not gruff, word of greeting.
All the while, with every new introduction and every hand shook, I felt my early convictions begin to unravel as the knot in my stomach tightened.