15. Do you trust me
DO YOU TRUST ME
have they figured it out yet?
— gus
Ican’t stop thinking about the fact that Riordan slept downstairs last night and, if my suspicions are correct, he’s been letting himself into Dough You Believe in Magic for weeks now.
Not because I saw him naked. I mean, I am thinking about that.
It would take a stronger witch than I am to erase the sight of a very large, very naked wolf shifter standing in the middle of Honey’s kitchen as though there was absolutely nothing unusual about that fact.
But it’s what came afterward that keeps circling through my mind while we make our way through the woods the next day.
My locator spell didn’t bring Riordan back to Moonburrow. According to him, it isn’t forcing him to stay near me, either. He’s doing that all on his own for reasons I don’t want to examine too closely.
If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that Riordan is choosing to sleep downstairs because there’s a killer targeting witches and he wants to keep me safe; I’m also pretty sure Honey knows, and whether or not Riordan took Max’s emergency key doesn’t matter when the sweet opossum shifter is giving her mate-in-law permission to use it.
He spends his days investigating with me, follows me through the woods while we search for a lodestone neither of us knows how to find, and seems to turn into an enormous black wolf at night so he can guard the bakery.
None of that should make me feel as warm as it does. Especially since I’m not completely convinced he’s right.
Maybe the locator spell didn’t attach itself to him. I’ll accept that. I can’t see any trace of my magic on Riordan, and he swears he would know if I cast something on him. That doesn’t mean it didn’t attach itself to me, though, or change something between us in a way neither of us understands.
Before I can figure out how to break a magical tie I can’t even see, however, I should probably deal with the one I can.
Because that one is impossible to miss.
Like it has since I first met the wolf shifter, faint neon green magic trails behind Riordan as he walks ahead of me, the curse curling around his broad shoulders before sinking beneath his silk shirt.
It winds through his natural alpha power and disappears inside of him, so deeply rooted that every time I’ve tried to pull at it, I’ve worried I’ll hurt him instead.
I hate it. I hate that the one thing I should be able to do for him—break his curse—is the one thing that I just can’t. And, sure, I’ve let it go, picking at it from time to time, but I never wanted to push him when he seems content to live his life the way that he is.
But then I remember his reaction when I teasingly pointed out how close he came to giving me an order. If he never has to shut down like that again, I’ll know I did my job.
“I think you should let me try again,” I blurt out suddenly.
Riordan was walking a few steps ahead of me, scouting the path as we headed for a large boulder, the next landmark on Garnet’s list. He stops on a dime, turning so that he can see the earnestness on my face.
He doesn’t have to ask what I mean. He knows. “The curse?”
“Yes. I think… if you give me permission to look again, I might have better luck now that I’m…” I give him a nervous chuckle, then tell him the truth: “Now that I’m not so scared of you anymore.”
Riordan arches his eyebrow. “While it makes me happy to hear you’re not that scared of me, Pen, I’m sorry. I’m gonna have to decline.”
What? “It’ll only take a second—”
“There’s no need. Besides, we’re supposed to be looking for a lodestone.”
“I can do two things at once.”
“You nearly walked into a tree yesterday because you were staring at my curse.”
I feel my cheeks heat up. I had no clue that he was that aware of what I was doing—or that I almost walked face-first into a massive oak tree. “It came out of nowhere,” I mumble.
“It was a tree, Pen. I’m pretty sure it’s been there for a while.”
He’s teasing me. I’m serious about trying to break his stupid curse at last, and he’s teasing me. “Riordan.”
His mouth twitches. “Should I get Max to put up ‘warning: tree ahead’ signs for witches wandering around pack land?”
In spite of myself, I snort. “Do you get many?”
He shrugs. “Two lately. Now three if we count you, but don’t you worry: I won’t let the same thing happen to you. You have my word.”
Good humor gone. How could I have forgotten?
Technically, both Faith and Olivia were murdered on pack land by a wolf that Max and Riordan still haven’t identified despite the entire Moonburrow Sheriff Department being on the case.
If I had any doubts that they weren’t doing everything they can to root out the witch killer, I might wonder if there’s a reason why they haven’t figured out what wolf is responsible yet.
Either way, I’m suddenly reminded that I’m a witch, I’m in the woods on pack land, and if it wasn’t for the fact that, last night, Riordan proved that he’s doing everything he can to keep me safe, I might get a little nervous.
Instead, I jump when he says, “You know what? If you’re going to keep obsessing over my curse, I might as well finally tell you something.
The witch who cursed me? She told me that there’s only one way it’ll ever break, and since I doubt that’ll ever happen, it’s fine. I’m used to it. Now can we move on?”
After he admitted that the dark witch that cursed him put a condition on it?
He should’ve told me that at the beginning!
It takes a lot of power to make it so that a curse can only be broken if a certain condition is met, and while I’ve found a way around a few of them in my time, it explains why I have had a hard time picking Riordan’s curse apart so far.
The curse is fighting against all of my efforts.
As it is, I’ve been treating it like an open-ended curse, but now that I know there’s a condition…
“What is it?”
“What’s what?”
“The condition. You know… what do you have to do to break the curse? I know you said it might not ever happen, but please don’t underestimate me, Riordan. I’m sure I can find a way around it if I know what it is.”
He chuckles under his breath. “I highly doubt that.”
“Try me.”
“Penelope…”
“No. I mean it. Come on.” Tucking Garnet’s journal under my arm, I stretch and flex my fingers, cracking them loud enough that it nearly echoes in the quiet forest. “Lay it on me.”
“I assure you, this is a bad idea.”
“Yeah? Well, it’s the only one I got. And if you don’t tell me, I’m going to keep asking you anyway.” Riordan thinks he has to stay by my side? Let’s see how much he holds to that when he finds out how determined Penelope Willows can be. “Please tell me.”
I think it’s the ‘please’ that does it.
His jaw tightens. And, finally, he mutters, “My mate.”
I blink. “Your mate?”
“If I willingly bond with my fated mate and she willingly bonds herself to me in return, the curse breaks. But I can’t use my curse to get my mate to agree which just goes to show that that witch had no idea about shifter mate bonds.
First of all, a bond only begins when two people acknowledge that they might be meant for each other.
It only finalizes when they both know for sure that they’re looking at forever.
If my mate doesn’t choose to accept me as hers, I could bite her all I want, and all I’ll have is a bloody female who hates my fucking guts. ”
Oh.
His… his mate.
I force my tone to stay chipper and bright. “That’s it? Well, that’s easy. I know you would never force your mate so we don’t have to worry about that. We just have to find the lucky wolf—”
“I’ve already found my mate.”
My smile becomes shaky as I get the feeling someone slugged me in the gut. “That… that’s nice. So it’s just a matter of you finding some time to spend with her instead of me, and then she’ll see what a great guy you are, and then—poof—your curse will be broken.”
And once I find the lodestone and figure out who killed Olivia Frost, I can finally leave Moonburrow…
When Riordan doesn’t respond to that, I ask, “Does she know that she’s your mate?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t told her yet. Are we done with the questions, witch? I thought we were looking for an artifact, not discussing my sorry love life.”
He’s right, but I can’t help it. I stare at him. “You found the woman who can free you from this curse, and you haven’t told her she’s your mate?”
He huffs out a breath. “No. I haven’t. Remember what I just said?
About wanting to make sure she has a choice?
I’m doing that. If she recognizes me as the male she wants, maybe I can give us a try.
But the first time I met her, her reaction made it clear that she won’t take being my fated mate all that well.
I don’t want to push her. I don’t want her to ever think I’ll force her.
I’ll live with this curse forever before I put one single doubt in her head. ”
“Wow. You must really love her.”
Because that’s the emotion I hear beneath the layer of frustration that I made him tell me this. It’s love and it’s want all while I’m dealing with so much jealousy, I want to choke on it.
“I do. And I hope that, one day, she’ll love me back.”
The hope and certainty in his confession suddenly makes my irrational jealousy shrink beneath something softer.
Maybe she already rejected him. Maybe she’s afraid of wolves. Maybe she doesn’t want a mate. Whatever the reason, Riordan has obviously accepted that she doesn’t want him, and he would rather remain cursed than pressure her into changing her mind…
“I could still find another way,” I tell him.
“Pen—”
“I’m a cursebreaker. It’s what I do. Knowing the intended release gives me more information than I had before.”
“I don’t want you hurting yourself trying to fix something that already has a cure.”
“One you don’t intend to use.”
His expression shutters.
Okay. I know when I’m beat. I’ve obviously pushed enough.
For now.