17. Donuts mean I love you #2
No. If I leave it up to Riordan, it’ll be apologies and explanations and talking all night. But that’s not why I brought him up here. He has to know that, and when I hush him by putting my pointer finger against his lips, I think… I think he does.
Thank the Goddess.
“Riordan?”
“Mm?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
His eyes flare gold. From behind my finger, he rumbles, “Pen.”
“Is that a yes? No more talking from you. Nod if you want me to kiss you. Shake your head if you want to go home and we try again tomorrow.”
He nods so quickly, my charming wolf shifter becomes a bobble-head. “Good. I’m going to say something real quick. I know who you are now.”
His breathing roughens, warming my finger.
“I know what you are to me,” I continue. “And I’m still a little pissed, but I understand better now. And that’s why I want to kiss you anyway.”
“Then kiss me,” he pleads.
So I do.
This kiss is nothing like the first.
There’s no uncertainty when I grab his shirt and pull him down. Riordan makes a rough sound against my mouth before his hands settle on my waist, holding me without pulling me closer until I do it myself.
He needs permission even now.
Especially now.
I press against him, and whatever restraint he has left snaps.
His arms tighten. Together, we move, and the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed all of a sudden.
I gasp into his mouth as the kiss turns hungry, the bed taunting me as I bend slightly under the onslaught of his embrace.
His hands move over me while mine do the same, and somewhere between one breath and the next, kissing becomes touching, touching becomes groping, and clothing becomes an increasingly irritating obstacle as I make it my mission to strip Riordan out of his clothes before he has to shift to get naked and accidentally ruins them.
“I have waited so fucking long for this,” he pants against my mouth.
“Two months. Maybe three now,” I reply between kissing him and wanting more as my fingers fumble with the button on his slacks.
“No,” he says, correcting me, digging his fingers deliciously into my size as I wiggle impatiently, trying to climb out of my skirt.
“I’ve wanted you forever. My mate… I dreamed of the day I would find her…
find you… and, let me tell you, it’s even better than I thought.
But, yeah… I’ve wanted you for as long as I’ve known you, and that’s way too fucking long. ”
I laugh breathlessly. “I wanted you then, too.”
He pulls back enough that he can look at my face, read the honesty written into every line there. “From the beginning? Really?”
Why is he surprised? “I didn’t know you were meant to be my mate. You were terrifying, arrogant, but so ridiculously attractive, I could forget you were a wolf sometimes and just fantasize about what it would be like to go to bed with Riordan Lobo.”
He thrusts his hips, bumping me with his obvious erection. It’s a reaction to the idea of the two of us going to bed together, but then his face shadows over, concealing the lust that was there seconds ago.
“That’s because I scared you,” he grates out.
“You did,” I admit. “And I still wanted you. It was very confusing. But it’s not now,” I promise.
“Come on, Riordan. You’ve got that freaky alpha ability to know when I’m lying.
Tell me… am I lying when I say that I want this?
I want you? Roxy and Honey were right. It’s not up to Fate to decide if we do this.
Your Luna might have brought us together, but the male you are…
you’re the one that made me fall for you.
Hell, I think I knew I was a goner when you threatened to turn Garnet’s journal into toilet paper because it hurt me.
You scared me once. I’m not scared anymore. Not of you.”
I tried to smooth over the moment with humor, but I don’t think I managed to pull it off because Riordan is even more serious than I’ve ever seen him.
He shifts his hold on me, grabbing my upper arms gently, using his impressive strength to pull me fully into his arms without squeezing so hard that it hurts. Once our bodies are all but flush against each other—and there’s no way to deny how much he wants me—he drops his forehead against mine.
“Pen… listen to me. If we do this, it’s forever.
” Like me, he doesn’t spell it out. When it comes to a possessive shifter and their mate…
now that we know who we are to each other, there’s only one thing he can mean as he tells me, “I can’t just have a piece of you and not be so greedy that I don’t want the whole damn thing.
If you let me fuck you, I’m going to claim you. Tonight. Now.”
The second that I was pulled against him, I reached for his buttons. To hear him say that… I stop fumbling with his shirt so that I can look at him as he tells me what to expect from an alpha wolf shifter desperate to claim his mate.
“I’m going to bite you,” he says. “I’m going to bond you to me. Make you mine so I can keep you. I need you to understand that.”
What if I do?
It all comes down to this. I can stop what we’re doing right now and walk away. I’ll regret it, of course, and forever think what if, but, once again, he’s giving me the choice.
Because he wants me.
All my life, people have wanted something from me. My ability to see ghosts. My cursebreaking. Not him. Riordan just wants Penelope.
His sweet witch.
I fist my hands in his shirt. “Promise?”
“Promise what?”
“That you’ll keep me.”
Something almost feral moves across his face. “For the rest of my fucking life.”
I kiss him again and return to trying to get him out of that silk shirt without ruining it.
His hands find the buttons of my blouse, and mine finally succeed with his shirt before he suddenly stops.
“The curse.”
I blink up at him.
“If we bond, it might break.”
“Yeah? And? It’s supposed to, isn’t it?”
“If that’s why you’re doing this—”
“I’m a cursebreaker, but I’m also a woman, Riordan.” I take his face between my hands. “I want you.”
His eyes close. When they open again, there’s so much naked need in them that my heart aches.