No Hands, No Wand
Iblink at Ash, so startled I don’t know how to respond.
Looking darkly amused, he says, “Are you surprised that your feathered pet is a man, or that I’m aware he’s a man?”
“How do you know?” I whisper. “How long have you known?”
“A while.”
“Then you must also know he’s your family. Why have you abandoned him?”
“I didn’t abandon him—the fool did this to himself. He’s an embarrassment to the Neilfellow name.”
I draw in a sharp breath, startled by the bite of his words. “That’s cruel.”
“Cruel or not, it’s true.”
“Rowan has got to be nearly eighty years old. How much time do you think he has left? Are you really going to hold a grudge over something that happened well before you were even born?”
Ash glances over, frowning. “What?”
“Whether he’s an embarrassment to your high and mighty name or not, he’s still your family. When you figured out who he was, you should have started looking for a way to help him.”
“I’m not his keeper.”
As Ash pulls up in front of my garden gate, a distant flicker of lightning is followed by a rumble of thunder.
“I know that,” I respond. “But I am. And I’m going to save him.”
“Save him?” Ash barks out an incredulous laugh. “He’s not in danger. He’s just a bird. Believe me—he’s more tolerable in this form.”
I look at the man, disappointed. “Thank you for the ride home.”
“Kit,” he says, reaching for me.
I knock his hand away. “Kathleen.”
He sighs, jumping from the cabriolet and tying the horse as I push through the gate. “Wait—don’t leave like this.”
“Goodnight, Ash,” I say, so irritated I can’t even look at him.
He struggles with the gate. “Kathleen, please…”
I unlock the door as rain begins to fall. Wind whips my hair, destroying the curls. I’m tempted to slam the door shut, but I’m not angry. I’m just…sad. And a bit regretful.
I let Ash kiss me. I shimmered for him.
And he’s not a nice man at all.
With a heavy sigh, I lock the deadbolt.
“What happened?” Rowan demands from his perch in the living room. “What’s with the thunderstorm?”
“Ash knows who you are.”
“He what?”
“He called you by name and said you were a mage who turned himself into a bird. He knows you.” I settle on the floral-print sofa next to his perch, realizing it’s quite comfortable.
“Or at least he knows of you. Since you turned yourself into a bird before he was even alive, he doesn’t know you.
That’s probably why he’s being such a—” I cut myself off and huff out a breath.
Rowan doesn’t answer right away. When he does, he says, “Exactly how old do you think I am?”
I turn my head to look at him. “I don’t know. Around Laverna’s age. I’ve been making myself sick over the fact that…well, that you might not have much time left.” Inconvenient tears sting my eyes. “I don’t want you to die a bird.”
“You think I’m eighty?”
I sniff. “Aren’t you?”
He laughs—really laughs. It’s a strange sound, maybe even slightly unstable.
“Are you having a birdy breakdown?” I whisper.
“Ash knows?” Rowan demands, sounding angry now. “He’s known all this time?”
I sit up a little straighter, gauging his mood. He’s small but angry. “Apparently.”
He mutters something, flapping his wings, and then flies into the kitchen. I’m not sure if I should follow him.
But I don’t have to. Not even ten seconds later, he flies back.
“Why were you talking about me anyway?” he demands.
“He brought it up—not me.” I pause. “Okay, I sort of did. But I swear, I wasn’t talking about you.”
“Just some other bird left in your care?”
“I didn’t bring up a bird at all!” I glare at him. “Don’t be angry with me when you’re actually mad at yourself. It’s not my fault you’re like this.”
The feathers over his eyes lower like eyebrows, making him look irked.
A crash of thunder shakes the cottage.
“I’m going to bed,” I say, turning around.
“Kit, wait—”
He’s cut off by a knock.
We both turn toward the door, startled.
“Kathleen!” Ash yells from the other side.
“It’s pouring out there,” I say dumbly, looking at my annoying owl.
Rowan stretches his neck, miffed. “I don’t see how that’s our problem.”
Growling because these Neilfellow men are extremely trying, I cross the room, unlatch the deadbolt, and throw the door open.
Ash stands on the step, looking like a drowned rat.
A very handsome drowned rat.
“Why are you still here?” I demand. “And what about your horse? You can’t leave him out in this.”
“I took him home and walked back.” The rain pelts him, saturating his hair and clothes. He has to yell just to be heard over the storm. “I didn’t want to leave things like this.”
“For goodness’ sake,” I huff, and then I grab his soaked arm and pull him inside.
He shuts the door, blocking the rain, and then turns to me, dripping on Laverna’s woven jute rug. She’d probably care. I think it’s sort of ugly, so I really don’t.
“I’m sorry I upset you,” Ash says with a deeply etched frown. “It wasn’t my intention.”
I study him, and then I shake my head, looking at Rowan, unsure how to navigate this.
“Hello, Ash,” Rowan says, his tone clipped and angry.
Ash jumps a little, turning to look at my owl. “You can talk?”
Rowan doesn’t answer this time. He just peers at Ash like he thinks he’s an idiot.
“Laverna found a charm so he could communicate,” I explain.
“When?” Ash demands.
“Around five years ago,” Rowan answers.
“Five years?” Ash demands, incredulous. “You’ve been able to communicate, and you’ve been hiding here like a coward for five years?”
Rowan ruffles his feathers. “Just because I can talk to you doesn’t mean I have any desire to.”
Something is off about this conversation.
“What about Anna and Gideon?” Ash demands. “Do you know how worried they’ve been?”
“Well, apparently you knew what happened. Why didn’t you tell them?”
“I didn’t for certain, and what good would it do anyway? You’re still an owl.” His face goes hard. “Does Keira know?”
“No.”
“Who’s Keira?” I ask, startled by the direction of the conversation.
“My fiancée,” Rowan says.
“Your ex-fiancée,” Ash corrects. “You jilted her.”
“I did nothing of the sort!”
“Well, it doesn’t matter whether you did, or you didn’t, because she’s engaged now.”
“That’s got to sting,” Rowan says harshly. “Your competition disappeared, and she still didn’t want you.”
“Listen here, you son of a—”
“Wait!” I cry, holding up my hands, my head reeling. “Just…both of you shut up.”
They both go silent, staring at me.
“You’re the cousin?” I ask Ash. “The cousin who was in love with the same girl as Rowan?”
Ash shoots Rowan a dark look, and then he nods.
“But.” I take a deep breath. “No, that’s not possible. Rowan is…old.”
The two stare at me.
“Why do you keep saying that?” Rowan finally asks.
“Because…you are.” I take a step back, feeling lied to. “Aren’t you?”
“I’m the same age as this fool,” Rowan says, gesturing a wing toward Ash.
“No.” I laugh, feeling a little hysterical. “No. Because I’ve been living with a fussy grandpa. Not a man who’s practically my age. I cannot be the keeper of a thirty-year-old male mage!”
“What difference does it make?” Rowan asks, flummoxed.
“Because…because…what if you’re attracted to me? Then this situation would be so wrong.”
“I’m not attracted to you,” Rowan says flatly.
“You said I was pretty!”
“You are pretty, but that doesn’t mean…why are we having this conversation? Perhaps it’s escaped your notice, but I’m a bird. Are you actually worried I’m going to make a move on you?”
Ash snorts, and then he clears his throat.
I sit down, right on the floor. “I thought you were close to death.”
“Yes, you kept saying that.”
“I thought…I thought that even if I failed, you’d be gone in five years, tops. But now…I could be stuck with you for the rest of my life.”
“I told you I’d take care of him,” Ash says blandly.
“You.” I point at him. “You were going to call Animal Control on your own cousin!”
“That’s right,” Rowan snarls. “You knew who I was when you said that.”
“Don’t overreact,” Ash says to Rowan. “They wouldn’t euthanize you. You’d get relocated to a nice forest with lots of mice.”
“I know where you sleep.”
“You’re smaller than a house cat—I’m not too worried. And if you’ll remember, I know where you sleep, too.”
“Yeah,” Rowan says. “In your girlfriend’s house.”
“Stop!” I yell, realizing this is about to get ugly. “First off, I’m not Ash’s girlfriend.”
Ash raises his eyes at Rowan. “Yet.”
“We’ve only known each other a few days,” I remind him.
The councilman wears a smug look that’s so high fae, I can’t decide if I want to slap him or kiss him.
“Oh,” I say suddenly, dropping my head into my hands. “The feather. Rowan bought it online.”
That’s the thing—the thing that’s been bothering me. That tiny detail slipped past me when he first said it, but it’s been in my subconscious, trying to get my attention.
Online shopping wasn’t around sixty years ago.
“I’m such an idiot,” I whisper.
“You’re not an idiot, Kit,” Rowan says. “You’re just a little dense.”
Sighing, I drop my hands. “Okay, fine. You’re thirty years old, and you two are first cousins. This doesn’t change anything. The plan remains the same—we need to turn you back.”
“What plan?” Ash asks, suspicious.
“There is no plan,” Rowan says heavily. “We’re not doing it, Kit.”
“We are, because I’m not living with you for the next fifty years.” Then I look at Ash, pushing myself to my feet. “Where would we find a dust pendant?”
His eyebrows shoot up, and he looks so genuinely horrified, I almost laugh.
“What in the world could you possibly need a dust pendant for?” the councilman demands.
“Rowan can’t access his magic in his current state because he can’t use his wand.”
Ash laughs, and the sound is somehow both cocky and condescending.
I press forward. “So, he needs someone else to turn him back into his normal self.”
Ash smiles. “I hate to break it to you, Kit, but Rowan was never normal.”
This rivalry between them makes a lot more sense now.
“Neither a mage nor a high fae can do it because—”
“Like magic repels.” Ash motions his hand like we can skip along. “I’m aware.”