56. Faylinn
Chapter 56
Faylinn
I couldn’t look at Rohak, certain that pain, betrayal, and anger would be clearly written on his face.
He had just divulged secrets that no one else, apart from Lord d’Refan, knew.
And here I was turning around and throwing that back in his face by forcing a Bond between Ben and Asha. An unwilling Bond, something that went completely against his morals and beliefs. And if this truly did work—if this was the answer to Mage Sickness—then a lot more of these Bonds would be performed in the future.
By me .
I gulped at the thought. I don’t think Rohak would have as big of an issue with this occurring if it were someone else performing the ceremony. After all, the majority of his Mages had Forced Bonds with their Vessels.
But because it’s me, because he advocated for me to come here, because we work so closely together, because he told me his secrets, because there is something between us, I’m certain he’s feeling betrayed.
One quick glance out of the corner of my eye was all it took to confirm my worst fears. Guilt gnawed at my gut, my stomach flopping at the look of torture and disgust that marred Rohak’s beautiful face. He wasn’t even trying to hide it .
My hands shook as I helped Asha climb into the bed next to Ben. I took a deep breath, forcing thoughts of Rohak and his disappointment out before beginning the ritual. If I let those thoughts fester, if that was my focus, I could very easily inscribe the wrong rune or say the wrong phrase, ending in dire consequences for all parties involved.
“What will it feel like?” Asha’s sweet but timid voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I focused my mind and eyes back on the task at hand.
Right. Bonding. Ben and . . . Asha. With runes I’ve never used before and a ritual I’ve never performed.
I looked at the girl in the bed next to the only person left in Elyria who cared about me. There was a slight pang in my heart, thinking it should be me next to him, and not a doe-eyed, quiet girl whom neither of us had ever met.
This is going to change us .
But looking in her eyes—frightened yet full of determination and respect—I found I couldn’t hate her. She was willing to sacrifice herself, her freedom—or what personal independence she had—to save a man she had never met. I could despise the situation and all the troubles it would inevitably bring afterward, but I couldn’t hate her.
“Honestly,” I told her softly, “I don’t know. I performed a few basic Bonding Ceremonies back in the Borderlands, but I think this is going to be . . . different. So, I don’t want to say something and have it not be true. You’ll be Bonded to Ben as both a Vessel and a . . . life force.” Her face paled a bit at that, and I quickly moved to reassure her again. “But it’s not parasitic. It’s more of a symbiotic relationship—if you’re ever sick or hurt, you’ll pull from his life force as well. It’s perfect balance.”
Asha nodded her head timidly. “If . . . if one of us dies, will the other?”
I gave her a grim smile. “That would be my best guess, yes.” I paused, the knife pressed against Ben’s forearm. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
There was a barrage of conflicting emotions that warred across Asha’s face—fear, sadness, hope—before she hardened her expression into one of resolve. She gave me one curt nod, her amber eyes sparkling in the dying fire.
“Lie back on the pillows, I’m certain this will take a lot of energy from all of us, and I don’t want you getting hurt if you fall unconscious.” Asha did as I said and I quickly scored a horizontal line across Ben’s forearm, using the pooling blood to quickly draw the rune that I saw in The Bondsmith on Asha’s forearm.
My strokes were sure and swift, and I felt a spark of magic once I finished drawing the first rune. “Thank you,” I whispered to Asha as I made a similar cut on her opposite forearm, using her blood to draw the corresponding rune on Ben’s arm.
As I drew his rune, I could feel the magnetism of this magic. The blood on each of their bodies pulled them together, even without me finishing the ritual. It was like it wanted them to be together—fully Bonded as one.
A single tear coursed down my cheek as I watched Asha slowly look over at Ben and gently cup his face, clearly feeling the effects of the Blood Magic, but not understanding what it was.
Yes, this would change everything . As soon as I added my own blood and completed the ritual, I would lose the last remaining person in my life that I could call mine. Not to mention I would also most likely lose Rohak.
But isn’t it better for Ben to live?
I took a shaky breath before splitting my own palm with my knife, quickly dipping my fingers into the cut on my hand and tracing both Ben and Asha’s runes with deft and assured strokes. As I traced and uttered words of power I didn’t know or understand, the magic shifted, each of their runes absorbed the magic within my blood and I swore I could see a visible string pull taut between the two. Half the string was dull and lifeless, the other a vibrant glowing gold. As the two threads met, I heard Asha gasp and fall unconscious into the pillows.
The string vibrated for a moment, a push and a pull happening between the two halves before it relaxed, the vibrant gold pulsing down the length of the connection before it disappeared entirely.
I sucked in a deep breath, my energy drained from completing the Bond, and swayed on my feet. A pair of arms caught me from behind and gently lowered me into a chair near the fire. I turned and half expected to see Rohak aiding me, but the scent was off. Instead of smoke and sweetgrass, I was inundated by the smell of whiskey and something musky. My heart dropped when I saw Lord d’Refan instead. My gaze quickly snapped to the other chair, but it was empty.
Rohak had left.
When had he left ?
“He left a few moments after you completed the ritual,” Lord d’Refan answered my unasked question as he handed me a bandage for my hand. I quickly wrapped and secured it, stemming the flow of blood. “That was . . . I’ve never seen a blood ritual like that before.” There was a strain of awe and perhaps even excitement in his voice. I shifted my gaze from the bed—where Ben and Asha were still both unconscious, but breathing—to the man beside me.
He regarded me as if he was taking stock of an animal, like he was cataloguing my best assets and deciding on a price. I shivered involuntarily and he shot me a silky smile.
“Is it gone?” he asked, suddenly.
“What?” I was starting to feel lightheaded, the lack of sleep and the strength of the ritual taking a toll on me.
“The Mage Sickness. Is it gone?”
“I-I’m not sure. I can check though.” I shakily got to my feet and shuffled over to the bed. Just a quick glance at Ben’s face showed marked improvement. His color was slowly returning, a slight pink dusting his cheeks, and the blood had stopped flowing from his ears and nose. His eyes twitched behind his lids, and I wondered what he was dreaming about.
Me? He almost always dreamed of me. Or is he dreaming of Asha now?
Another pang shot through me at the thought, and I rubbed my chest.
“From outward appearances, it looks as if he’s recovering. I can’t detect the sickness inside him, I’m not a Creation Mage, but all outward symptoms have disappeared,” I whispered. I was simultaneously shocked, proud, and slightly unnerved.
I did it.
A smile spread slowly across my face.
“Well done, Fay.” Lord d’Refan’s voice cut through my reverie, and I bowed my head.
“Thank you, Lord,” I murmured. “I’ve never done this before, but traditionally Bonded pairs wake within a few hours of the ceremony. I would imagine that this might take longer, simply because of the nature of the Bond. Someone should be here when they wake up, though, to explain what’s happening.”
Lord d’Refan simply shot me an expectant look and I blew out a tired breath .
“I suppose that would be my job.”
“As you’re the only one who even knows of this new Bond . . . yes, I would say that must be you. I can have another bed made up for you across the hall?”
I shook my head. “No, that’s fine. I’ll sleep on the couch. There should be someone in here when they wake. I’m certain there will be . . . questions.”
Lord d’Refan shoved his hands in his pockets before nodding to me. “Very well. Make sure you record what happened here in your little notebook over there. I would expect you’ll be performing quite a few more of these in the coming weeks.”
I blanched at that but nodded my head again. “Yes, my lord.”
With that he grunted once more before turning and striding from the room, closing the door behind him. I was encased in silence once more, feeling more alone than I ever had. I gently pulled the hair back from Ben’s forehead, doing nothing to stop the tears that coursed down my cheeks.
I pressed a small kiss between his eyebrows before shuffling back to the couch and collapsing onto it. I tucked myself into a ball, back pressed against the cushions, and let the sobs come.
I cried for Asha and her sacrifice for someone she’d never met.
I cried for forcing Ben into a Bond.
I cried for Rohak and his desire to find a partner, but inability to do so.
But most of all, selfishly, I cried for me. I cried for willingly sacrificing something that made me happy, for the loss of what could have been, and for the future I’d inevitably be thrust into.
I sobbed until my tears ran dry and I was gasping for breath.
It was like that, a puddle of snot and tears under my face, knees pressed to my chest, that I fell asleep, my dreams plagued by the stress of the day and horrors of what was to come.