67. Lex
Chapter 67
Lex
M y head throbbed and I pressed my hands into my temples to try and ease the ache there, but it didn’t help. Ilyas and Sasori weren’t faring any better, all of us were completely tapped and exhausted from the events of this morning.
Had it only been this morning?
While I was able to refill my Pain Magic periodically throughout the morning and into the afternoon, my Pleasure Magic was woefully low with no ability to refill it in sight.
I groaned at the thought of empty reserves for the foreseeable future.
It was a given that we’d be stationed here for a while, or at least part of our company would. Lord d’Refan’s announcement of absorbing Hestin was one thing, but the quick appearance and subsequent disappearance of the rebels was another entirely.
We’d have a military presence here, of that I had no doubt. The question just remained: would Lord d’Refan keep me here as one of his hybrid freaks or would General d’Alvey fight for me to return to the Academy to continue teaching and training.
I sighed and leaned back against the couch. The Mages that accompanied Lord d’Refan on this trip were given accommodations in one of the few inns, but they were slowly filled to the max. We were given our own room, since three of us were sharing anyway, but many other Mages and Vessels weren’t so lucky. Sasori and Ilyas were fast asleep on the bed behind me, cuddled tightly together, but I couldn’t find it in me to sleep, despite my exhaustion.
There was a soft tap on the door, rousing me from my sleep-inhibiting thoughts. I pushed up from the couch, taking a moment to steady myself as a wave of dizziness swept over me.
Fuck, when was the last time I was this drained?
I knew when it was, but I didn’t want to think about that day if I didn’t have to. My exhaustion pulled at my mental blocks and guards, threatening to permit the nightmares from that day to dominate my thoughts again. I’d just recovered from my last bout of memory debilitation, and I didn’t need anything to trigger those thoughts again.
Shaking my head lightly, I softly padded my way over to the door on bare feet. I thought about putting a shirt on, but disregarded the notion once I heard another tap, a bit louder this time. Ilyas shuffled in his sleep, and I willed my feet to walk quicker. I didn’t want to wake them, gods know they deserved the rest.
I popped the lock on the door before pulling it open a crack, the light from the hallway spilling into the room. A figure was highlighted by the light, and I squinted, willing my brain to recognize them.
“General d’Alvey,” I rasped, my voice thick from disuse and exhaustion. He was dressed in his usual Mage blacks, and there were lines of worry creased on his forehead and mouth.
“Did I wake you?”
Is that concern I detect?
I shook my head before whispering, “No, but Ilyas and Sasori are asleep. Is there something I can do for you?”
The General seemed to mull over his words before giving me a curt nod. “Put a shirt on then meet me in the common room,” he said before tacking a “please” onto the end.
I nodded once, and shut the door quietly, being careful not to let the light into the room. I quickly threw on a tunic from my rucksack, not bothering to tuck it in. I slammed my feet into my spare boots—the ones from this morning were still covered in dirt and blood—and eased the door open just enough to allow me to slip through and into the hallway .
Once I clicked the door shut, I eased a deep breath from my lungs and closed my eyes, rolling my head from side to side. I could guess why the General was here so late at night, and I was not looking forward to this conversation.
How did we not know there were rebels in Hestin? The thought had plagued me all afternoon and well into this evening. The way they appeared and then disappeared just as quickly led me to believe that they had been here for a while—perhaps even months—if they were able to blend that well into the landscape.
My boots clicked softly on the stairs as I quickly descended into the deserted common room. A fire burned low in the hearth, creating an eerie glow and casting shadows on the General’s face as he sat, gazing at nothing. He looked older, more worn out than I’d ever seen him, and I worried about him. Whether that was my place or not, I didn’t quite care. He’d taken me in after the experiments and trained me to be the Mage I am today while also showing a level of care and devotion I hadn’t ever experienced.
He was more my older brother than my commander, and his presence here tonight spoke volumes about how he trusted and felt about me.
I sat heavily in the chair opposite Rohak and a small smile curved at the edges of his lips at my relaxed state. I didn’t have the energy to be any other way at this point.
“Where did they come from, Lex? How did we not know?”
“Getting right to it, I see,” I joked with a forced easy smile. When Rohak didn’t return the sentiment, I let it drop.
“I’m not sure, Rohak. I’m not sure how we missed it,” I said on a huff as I pulled my hand through my hair. “I’ve been mulling it over for hours, and I can’t put the pieces together. The only thing that makes sense is they were here long before they knew we were coming. Months, even.”
Rohak grunted, still staring at the fireplace.
So, he thinks the same .
I blew out a shaky breath and picked at my nails, debating if I should say what I really thought.
“Speak, Lex. You have other thoughts. I can see it.” It was a command, but a kind one.
“The only thing that makes sense is that Lord d’Aelius invited them here. Or, at the very least, knew of their existence,” I mumbled the thought, not really wanting to voice it. Because if that was true, we’d have a whole host of other problems as we established our presence here.
“I agree,” Rohak said quietly, finally turning his eyes to me, and my eyebrows raised slightly. “It also means that there’s more at play here than we know, and I feel . . . rather stupid for not seeing it before. Or at least being more cautious.”
I sat quietly, waiting for him to continue. His words were halting, and I wondered how often he got to unload his thoughts on someone else. He had no Vessel and wasn’t seeing a woman as far as I knew. He devoted his entire existence to Lord d’Refan and his cause, leaving little time for himself. I really doubted anyone was privileged to the true thoughts and feelings of Rohak, maybe not even Lord d’Refan.
“They hid a Keeper from the Borderlands, for gods’ sake, and I didn’t think they’d invite the rebellion here?” He scoffed, “What kind of General am I.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway.
“A damn good one,” I said fiercely. “You protect your Mages and Lord d’Refan with everything you have—mind, body, and soul. It was an oversight,” he rolled his eyes at my words, but I continued, “sure, maybe a large oversight, but an oversight nonetheless. It happens , Rohak. No one is perfect. You’ve made mistakes before, and you’ll make mistakes again. What matters most is how we approach this situation going forward. We can’t change what happened. The rebels attacked. People died. We lost Mages. This is war and that will happen again.”
He seemed to sit a bit straighter in his chair.
“But now you have to decide what happens from here, how we handle the exchange of power, what happens to Lord and Lady d’Aelius. They were clearly respected and loved by their people. I don’t envy you right now.” I paused, thinking over my next words. “It might be best if Lord d’Refan leaves for a while. His presence will . . . scare people. And it might draw rebels out in greater force. Maybe send Faylinn away as well. I heard the murmurs in the crowd, I think she might be more feared than Lord d’Refan. People fear and don’t trust the unknown. Faylinn, and her ancient Blood Magic, are exactly that. An unknown. They’ll have to be slowly eased into her presence.”
Rohak smiled at me. “Maybe you should be the tactician, Lex. ”
I let out a large bark of a laugh at the thought.
“No, Rohak. I’ll leave that to you. I enjoy my life and free time—inevitably it would cut into my illustrious sex life, and I just can’t have that .” My flippancy brought a smile to his face, lightening his features.
The fire had died almost completely as we talked, and I found that I was finally starting to feel sleepy. I yawned, my jaw popping as it stretched wide.
“Go,” Rohak said, nodding his head toward the stairs. “You’ve done enough today and tonight, Lex. I’m also sending you back tomorrow with a small group. You’re great in the field, but I need you to take over my duties at the Academy while I’m stuck here for the time being.” He paused, sucking his teeth and considering his next words, which came out lower than the rest, “And I need you to be my eyes and ears in Vespera. I don’t know what’s all at play and what Lord d’Refan is planning, but I need whatever information I can get.”
He doesn’t trust Lord d’Refan, but he trusts me. The thought struck me dumb for a moment.
I nodded as I rose from the chair.
“And Lex?” I paused with my hand on the banister. “Thank you.”
I nodded once and shrugged my shoulders. “We all need a pick-me-up every once in a while, General.”
He said nothing more, just went back to staring at the dying fire, and I quickly climbed the stairs and let myself back into the room.
Shedding my clothes as I walked, I threw them haphazardly around the room before crawling into bed behind Sasori, tucking her close. I breathed in the scent of jasmine from her hair and slowly felt my body unwinding, finally relaxing.
Today was hard. Tomorrow would be even more difficult. Each day from here on out would be a challenge, one that I could only see getting progressively worse.
With those worries in my head and the feel of Sasori pressed against me, I finally fell asleep, only to be plagued by the nightmares of my past.