69. Faylinn
Chapter 69
Faylinn
T he journey from Hestin to Vespera was longer than the journey from Vespera to Hestin, simply because we rode horses—not in carriages—and didn’t use unnecessary Earth Magic to speed our progress.
“We’ll get there when we get there,” was Lex’s gruff response when I mustered the courage to ask.
No one, not even Sasori or Ilyas, seemed to be in a mood to talk while we rode, so I ended up riding in silence by myself, which proved to both be detrimental and beneficial.
On one hand, I was able to categorize and catalogue some of the new plants and animals we’d seen while in Hestin, and I added them to my ever-growing journal of wildlife in Elyria. Eventually I’d publish it as a reference book . . . or maybe I’d keep it for myself. I hadn’t yet decided on that particular course of action.
On the other hand, I had ample time to let my mind wander and fixate on things that weren’t beneficial to me in the slightest.
Like Rohak and his undiluted anger toward me.
And Lord d’Refan’s strange comment about Ellowyn.
And Ben and Asha still unconscious in Vespera. At least I thought they were still unconscious. They were when we left a little over a week ago, at any rate.
Ben .
The closer we rode to Vespera, the quicker my heart beat, and the more my palms sweated, not just from the heat and journey. I started reciting mundane facts about plants and their medicinal properties just to keep my mind occupied but felt even those slipping away as we crossed into Vespera. My scars started itching in earnest as we breached the city gates, and a steady buzz took residence under my skin as we passed the Academy on the way to the stables.
I shivered involuntarily, purposefully not looking at that giant black building.
Lex and his Bonded helped our small group of Mages dismount and pass horses to the stable boy before leaving with a clipped goodbye.
Apparently, Rohak didn’t give them instructions to escort me to the palace.
I sucked my teeth and crossed my arms as I walked, my feet lightly slapping the stone walkways, muscles aching from the ride.
Stupid to think he cares about you at all, at this point. He trusted you and you betrayed that trust.
I stomped up the stairs to the manor and, with a slight nod of acknowledgment to the Mages on duty, let myself in. Everything looked and felt the same as when we left, a fact that surprised me for some reason. There was no dust on any surface, and the whole place smelled faintly of fresh bread.
My stomach growled, and I put a hand there to try and stifle the sound.
Ben and Asha, then food , I told myself.
Something in my soul felt broken and sick without knowing about Ben. I’d abandoned him to his fate, unconscious first from Mage Sickness, then from a Forced Life Bond.
How will he feel about me if, when, he wakes up? Will he be angry? Happy to see me? Will he be . . . different?
Questions plagued my thoughts as I pushed my way through the doors that separated the servants’ quarters from the rest of the manor house. The halls were relatively empty, a few servants rushed from one job to the next, and I kept my head down while I hastened to Ben’s door .
My steps faltered and eventually halted, however, when I heard screams coming from the general direction of Ben’s room.
Asha. Ben. Oh no, oh no, oh no.
The thought of them being hurt worse from what I did to them had my legs flying and feet slapping the floor as I sprinted to their door. The screams grew louder the closer I got, and I reached out a hand to their door to fling it open, but was halted by a gentle, yet firm, grip on my elbow.
“Miss, that’s the Earth Mage and Asha’s room. I suggest . . .” but she never got to finish her sentence.
“I know whose room it is because I. Put. Them. There,” I bit out. “I Bonded them, and they were unconscious when I last saw them. Now, I hear screaming. So, if you’ll excuse me”—I wrenched my arm from her grasp—“I need to get in there.”
I turned swiftly, pushing the door open, the screams reaching a crescendo as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.
Please be okay. Please be . . .
All thoughts ceased as I peered around the alcove of the door into the main room.
Ben’s white ass flexed as he thrust into Asha. She was pinned against the wall that shared the bed, her head thrown back as far as it could go, her mouth open in another scream. Her auburn hair flowed around the two of them as her nails dug into the skin on his shoulders.
The nail marks were innumerous on his back, looking more like whip marks at this point than nail scratches. Sweat glistened on his skin as he continued to pound into her, their slapping skin and her screams a strange melody.
The room positively reeked of sex—sweat, salt, and the distinct scent of cum and arousal.
I stood frozen to the spot, unable to move or speak, simultaneously transfixed and appalled.
“Oh gods , Ben, yes, yes, YES!” Asha shrieked as she bowed her head, her knuckles white as she came around him.
“Fuck, Asha. So tight. The best I’ve ever had. You feel so. Damn. Good.”
Ouch. That one stings.
Ben thrust a few more times before groaning his own release, peppering a slew of kisses down her jaw and chest, pausing to suck a nipple into his mouth. Asha giggled and swatted at him playfully.
“Stop, Ben! We should rest for a bit, recharge before we go again,” she whispered huskily as he continued to lave kisses on her chest and neck.
“Baby, I can go all day. I’m already getting hard again,” he moaned.
I took that moment to clear my throat. “I actually have to agree with Asha. You both just woke up from an experimental procedure, rest and observation are paramount.”
Asha screamed again, this time in terror, at my sudden intrusion.
Ben promptly let go of her legs, his dick popping from her pussy with a wet noise, before whirling to face me. His half-hard cock was glistening with both of their release, and it slowly started to deflate as I watched.
My heart twisted painfully. It felt like the floor dropped out from under me and I was free falling from a thousand feet.
I tore my eyes from his softening cock and met his stare, a slew of emotions flickering through his eyes.
Terror and anger at being interrupted. Surprise, love, sadness, resignation.
I shuttered my emotions and face as best I could, but my mouth was set in a grim line and Ben could always read me easily, anyway.
“Fay,” Ben said on a broken whisper. “I-I didn’t know you were back? When did you get back?”
“A few minutes ago.” My voice was steady as I pushed all my broken pieces down.
They’re patients. Just patients. Not your ex-lover and his new . . . lover? Bonded? Partner?
Ben ran a hand through his hair, the strands sticking out at odd angles due to sweat, and I caught a glimpse of the rune now tattooed on his forearm. It seemed to glow from within, a soft shimmer so unlike the matte black creations that dotted my skin. His other hand moved to surreptitiously cup his junk.
Okay, that hurt, too .
“Not like I haven’t seen it before, Ben,” I snarked.
He shrugged, his expression sheepish. “Yeah, well . . .” he trailed off and I nodded jerkily .
“Glad to see you’re up again and apparently healthy. Please put some clothes on, have Asha do the same, and I’ll do my routine checkup here in a minute.”
Professional. They’re patients.
“Hi, Fay,” Asha’s small voice called from behind Ben.
I turned to walk out the door.
“Hello, Asha. Please take a moment. I’ll be just outside the door, so knock once you’re dressed.”
I didn’t wait for an answer, just pulled open the door and closed it behind me.
I leaned back against it and blew out a heavy breath, my body sagging with the weight of what I just witnessed.
“I tried to tell you, Bondsmith,” a timid voice said. I cracked an eye open and tilted my head to see the woman who tried to stop me from entering the room.
I didn’t have the energy to correct her on the name.
“Yeah. Thanks. Sorry I was a bit rude.” I smiled wanly. “And I would’ve found out one way or another.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not surprised.”
But that’s a lie. I’m surprised. I’m hurt. I’m sad. I feel lost and adrift. I came here for Ben and to learn. Now Ben is with Asha and my learning only brought me more pain. Plus, the only person who believed in me no longer does.
I laughed sardonically at the thought.
“He wasn’t for you,” she said, not unkindly.
“No, he wasn’t,” I whispered, shutting my eyes again. The woman took that as the end of the conversation and continued on her path down the hall. I cracked my neck and pushed my emotions down as far as I could.
I’d give them space later.
Maybe.
A soft knock on the door roused me and I turned and entered quickly. Asha and Ben stood together at the foot of the bed, both fully dressed, thankfully.
Ben looked chagrined, but not sorry. Asha, on the other hand, couldn’t even meet my eyes. Pink splotches dotted her cheeks as she fiddled with her hands.
“So, when did you both wake?” I pulled out the journal from where it was still tucked in my waistband and perched on the armchair near the fire. Knowing Ben’s penchant for sex on chairs, I didn’t want to sit fully on it.
Asha and Ben glanced at each other before Ben answered, “Yesterday morning. We woke at the same time.”
“And how did you feel?” I jotted everything down in my notebook to study later and cross-reference against the Bonded Mages and Vessels from Hestin.
“Great,” Ben said, and I raised my eyebrows. He was used to me prying for more information and better qualifiers.
He huffed a laugh. “Better than great. It’s like . . . it’s like I’m constantly rejuvenated. Like I took a dip in the Pool of the Gods. No aches, no pains. Hunger is less, mental acuity is higher. Sex drive is off the charts.”
I wrote it all down but grimaced at the last admission.
“The Sickness?”
“Gone,” he said, and I wrote furiously.
“Asha?” I asked, not looking directly at her.
“It’s the same for me, Bondsmith,” she whispered.
This time, I did raise my head. “It’s just, Fay, Asha.”
This damn nickname .
She nodded once, still avoiding eye contact.
“Right. And the marks? May I see them?”
They both held out their arms and I crossed the room to critically examine the runes on their skin. Same mark, same sort of soft glow to them.
“They didn’t always do that,” Asha said.
“No?” I asked as I poked and prodded.
“No, they were dull when we woke up. They didn’t start glowing until, uhm, after.”
I stopped my poking to look at her and she blushed again when we made eye contact.
Oh .
“So you can scream his name and rake your nails down his back, but you can’t say the word sex? Are you sure you should even be having sex?” I snarked, unable to control my tongue.
Asha blanched at my words and Ben stiffened in my grasp.
Shit. They’re patients. Act like a Healer, not a jealous ex-whatever .
“Fay,” Ben’s tone was low, and warning as he wrapped his free arm around Asha.
“Right. Not professional of me. Excuse me, Asha. That was uncalled for.” I dropped Ben’s arm and retreated to my armchair where I spent the next few minutes detailing their experiences and sketching the runes.
Ben and Asha were silent as I worked, but I could feel their gazes on each other. I peeked a glance over my notebook and took in the expressions on their faces.
Ben never looked at me like that. He loved me, I thought, in his own way. But he never looked at me like I hung the moon .
Another pang of sadness shot through me, and I cleared my throat.
“Any other side effects to report?” I clipped.
“It’s like I can feel her, if that makes sense? Like she’s just out of reach of my mind, a presence but not a conscious presence is the best way I can describe it.” I hummed at that as I took note, vowing to read more of The Bondsmith in case there were any clues as to what that meant.
“Okay. Thanks, Ben. Asha.” I snapped my journal closed and put it back in my waistband. “If anything else happens, or you notice any changes, please let me know. I’ll check back in within the next week just to see what’s changed.”
I made for the door, but Ben stopped me.
“That’s it?” he asked, incredulously.
“Yep.” I shrugged my shoulders, keeping a carefully neutral expression.
“Are you . . . okay?” he asked tentatively.
“Why wouldn’t I be, Ben? You’re Bonded. I knew this was a possibility if you both woke up. Sure, seeing it is something else entirely and I’m not saying that I’m particularly fond of the whole thing, considering we never actually ended our . . . whatever it was.” Ben flinched at that. “But I’ve been around Bonds enough to understand what happens when someone else is tied to you. It’s, well it’s not fine, but it will be. For now, I’m going to give you your space, and I ask that you do the same. Unless something happens with the Bond or you suddenly garner some new ability, I’d like to keep our interactions to a minimum.”
I took a deep breath.
Hooray for word vomit .
“Okay, Fay. If that’s what you want.” Ben smiled sadly. “Though, if you’d like to join us, Asha said she’d be open to it.”
I outright laughed at that. “Thank you, Asha, I’m flattered. But I don’t share.”
I gave them both a small wave before I exited their room and headed out of the servant’s wing toward the stairs to my own room.
I needed a drink.