Chapter 23
A za finds herself in a warm cabin. Food is spread across the table.
A middle-aged woman brings more food over while a man sits at the end of the table, a little girl bounces in her seat, and a teenage boy with red hair teases the little girl with a string bean.
He’s got a smile on his face as the little girl reaches across the table.
The family's laughter fills the room. Aza remembers this feeling. It hollows her chest.
The moment shatters as the front door is busted inward, splinters scattering across the room. Men dressed in black, faces masked, storm the room, shouting orders.
The man at the end of the table jumps up from his seat, shouting for his family to hide.
The little girl takes off up the stairs.
One of the men begins to go after her, but the teen boy steps in front of him, shoving him back.
In retaliation, the masked man cracks him across the head with the hilt of a sword.
The boy crumples. The woman screams and rushes toward him, but another masked man grabs her.
The father tries to race over to his wife, but is yanked back by two more masked men.
He spits at them, shouting, but they beat him with fists, hilts, blows to his stomach and face.
They drag him out of the house, his screams rattling the walls.
Two more men pick up the limp body of the boy, blood spilling from his head, and drag him out after the father.
The mother is left alone with one of the men.
The man forces her to her knees, and she pleads, tears streaming down her face. Aza sees his hands move to his belt.
Aza lunges at him, kicking and punching, but nothing lands. She jolts upright in her bed, skin damp with sweat and breathing heavily.
Aza grabs a pillow, buries her face in it, and screams. She wonders why she has such horrid nightmares, why she can’t seem to help or protect anyone. She screams again, harder, but stops when she hears a small voice next to her.
“It’s alright, miss.”
Aza recognizes the voice immediately and quickly pulls the pillow away from her face.
“Alaric?”
“Hi, miss. I wanted to say goodbye to you before you left, but I heard you screaming.”
“What?” Aza asks breathlessly, pushing her hair out of her face, “I’m sorry. Bad dream. I’m… still shaken.”
Aza’s not sure why she’s still entertaining this vision or why she’s seen the same boy for the third time. But out of everything she’s seen and endured, he is calm. Kind. She ignores the rest of her thoughts.
She can’t, however, ignore this odd feeling of sadness at the thought of not seeing Alaric again. A part of her had wished her mind had made up a friendly presence that occasionally visited her, considering every other one of them was terrifying, one way or another.
“Miss?” His soft voice brings her back to the present moment.
“Yes, Alaric. I’m sorry—what did you say again?”
“I was just saying that it is alright. I’m here, you’re safe right now.” His voice is calm, “Would you like to talk about it?”
“Oh,” No one has ever asked if she wanted to talk about it, but Aza didn’t want to relive what she just endured, “No… but thank you for offering.”
“Of course, miss. You were there for me the other night when I needed someone. I just wanted to offer to return the favor.”
Aza smiles, “You have a good heart, Alaric,” She lets out a soft laugh, “and you know you can call me by my name.”
“I know, Miss Aza, but you are a lady, it is respectful to call you Miss.”
“Very well.” Aza nods and then asks, “Alaric? You said you came to say goodbye? If you are in my mind, why can’t you just come back when I am home?”
“I don’t know, miss. It was hard enough to get here with you.
I don’t know how your mind works. Maybe I will end up following you, but just in case I can’t, I wanted to say goodbye properly.
I know we hardly know each other and haven’t known each other for more than a few days, but…
I will miss you. And…” Alaric pauses, “And I wanted to warn you to be careful and never come back here. It is not safe here. You may not believe your visions or nightmares, but believe me when I say that, please. I don’t want anything to happen to you.
You are an amazing person, and the people in your life need you. ”
Aza goes still, confused. Is her subconscious manifesting into this sweet boy so that she will listen to it? Aza isn’t sure, but she is sure she agrees that this place isn't safe. Aza knows somehow in her heart that Alaric is safe, regardless of how or why he is manifesting.
“I am going to miss you too, Alaric.” Aza says with all sincerity, “Stay… a little longer?”
“Alright. But I am going to give you a moment to change.”
Aza gets dressed for the day, and then she and Alaric sit on her bed.
Aza talks about her home, her kingdom, her parents, her people, her flowers that she loves, and anything else she can think of.
Alaric sits on the edge of her bed, seemingly soaking in all that she has to say.
She doesn’t know why she’s telling him any of this to a figment of her imagination, but it is calming her so she continues anyway.
Aza holds up her wrist, “I got this bracelet the other day. What do you think of it?”
Something flickers across Alaric's face, and Aza becomes worried.
“Is something wrong, Alaric?” She asked.
“N-no, sorry. It is a beautiful bracelet.”
Aza goes to speak as her front door is wrenched open. Jahar enters, fear and confusion clouding his face as he shuts the door behind him and walks towards her.
Alaric stands abruptly, already stepping back and starts to walk away, “I should go.” Alaric says quickly.
“No, Alaric. Stay,” Aza begs as she leaps off her bed and reaches out towards him, despite knowing she can’t actually touch him.
“But miss, he can’t see or hear me.” Alaric worries.
“He already knows, it doesn’t matter.”
“I already know what? Who are you talking to?”
“Oh, just another boy,” Aza mocks, surprised at how much she is still filled with frustration and anger from last night.
“Miss!” Alaric scolds.
Aza can’t help but smile and giggle at him, “I am sorry, Alaric. I couldn’t resist.”
Alaric smiles, shaking his thick curls, “He really cares for you, miss. You two need to speak about your feelings.” Alaric advises.
“Princess!” Jahar snaps, turning her attention away from Alaric and back to Jahar, “What is going on?”
“I’ll tell you in a moment, not that you or anyone will believe me anyway.” Aza shoots back.
“Miss, don’t push him away. He is your biggest confidant.” Alaric proclaims, “I unfortunately cannot stay. Goodbye miss. I hope that we get to meet again.”
“Wait, Alaric, please!” Aza cries out, “Stay.” Her voice breaks off as he disappears.
“Princess, what the hell is going on?” Jahar’s voice is laced with fear.
Aza sinks onto the couch, staring ahead.
Her voice is low when she breathes, “I’m losing my mind. I’ve made friends with one of my visions, but he has now left me, too.”
Tears begin slipping down her cheeks. She feels ridiculous for crying, but she can’t stop the pit in her stomach, the sadness in her heart, or the tears now streaming out of her blurry eyes.
Jahar hesitantly takes a seat next to her. He places his large hand over her small ones that are crossed on her lap.
“Tell me what happened,” Jahar says, gentler now, “I’m sorry if I upset you. I was just worried. I heard you talking to someone, and I didn’t know who. And…”
“And you didn’t see anyone there.” Aza cuts him off, finishing his thought for him.
“Yes. But that does not mean I don’t believe you, that they feel real to you.” Jahar assures.
“I’m just so tired and so confused. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I don’t know what to do to help myself or help those around me. I… I think my mind is breaking.” Aza breaks into a sob that rakes her whole body.
Jahar places a gentle arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm with his hand.
“I am sorry you are going through this. We can talk through anything you want to to clear things up, anytime you want to or need to.”
“I can’t talk to you about everything,” Aza whispers.
“Why not?”
There’s no way for Aza to tell him that one of the things she fears she is confusing is his feelings toward her.
Part of her fears that every little thing is just made up in her mind or twisted by what plagues her.
That she’s fallen so madly in love with someone, but he has no reciprocating feelings.
That he just has a duty to protect the Princess and to comfort her when she’s falling apart.
The only words she can get out are “I just can’t.”
“Okay, well then let’s go over something you can talk to me about.”
Aza is on the verge of telling him to forget about it, but then she pauses. Something is gnawing at her.
“Do you think something is going on with King Abasi and his empire? Or is my mind constructing everything, and I’m about to tear down a man who doesn’t deserve it?”
“He very much deserves any negative thing heading his way. I don’t know what is going on here or with him, but you are correct in believing that something is not right. But, unfortunately, you nor King Nefir have any jurisdiction to question or change what he is doing, whatever that may be.”
“I know,” Aza sighs, “I can’t not do anything. I’ll present everything I’ve gathered this week to my father, even if it just means that King Abasi will stay on his radar.”
“That’s the right move. I will back up your information as an additional primary source.”
Aza looks up into Jahar’s eyes, her cloudy ones starting to clear, “Thank you.”
“Of course. And just so you know, we secured your cake slices. Are you going to explain to me why those are important?”
“Yes, but on the trip home. I do not want to spend any more time here than we need to.”
“Fair enough,” Jahar says, standing and helping Aza stand as well. “Let’s get you to your carriage, and I’ll send someone in to grab the last of your things.”
Aza nods in agreement and begins walking out of her room and towards the exit.
Aza doesn’t see the King as she’s escorted to her carriage and gets inside.
Her luggage is stored, the extra soldiers guard her on all sides, and Jahar enters the carriage with her.
And just like that, they’re off. On instinct, Aza looks out the window and sees Alaric standing outside, waving.
Aza waves back. A movement above Alaric grabs Aza’s attention, and she finds King Abasi staring at her through a window from far away.
Aza puts down her hand, takes one last look at the smiling Alaric, and retreats into her carriage.
During their journey, Aza and Jahar reviewed all the information they had gathered during their week-long stay and determined what would be the most pertinent to tell the King.
Aza just hopes Baba will listen, even if there was nothing he could do or would do right away.
Some of her evidence and speculations may just be circumstantial, but they seemed more than just coincidences.
Jahar tried to get her to talk more about what happened this morning, but she didn’t want to tell him. She wanted to keep Alaric to herself. She didn’t think she could handle losing the hope that he brought. She knew that sounded crazy, but she didn’t care.
Aza had considered what Alaric, or her own conscience, or whatever it was, had said to her about talking to Jahar about her feelings and his feelings, but Aza had figured this wasn’t the best place or time.
First and foremost, there was too much of a risk that someone outside would hear.
Second, depending on how the chat went, they would both remain stuck in the same small carriage together for the rest of the trip, not being able to walk away, take some space, or take a breather.
Aza didn’t know why she always expected the worst, but just in case it did come to that, she didn’t want either one of them to be trapped.
So, in between their conversations, Aza tried to sleep on the long trip.
She was thankful when she didn’t have any nightmares; the one last night had been brutal, and she didn’t know how much longer she could handle these awful nightmares.
Her sleep had been dwindling, and that was why she tried to get some whenever possible. Her resolve was getting thinner.