Chapter 43 #2
“Maybe he’s not here then. He should be shortly.” Aza begins to get nervous that something has happened.
“You misunderstand. There is no living soul outside of this veil. Only the living may enter.” Teiliana’s voice is sorrowful.
Aza’s heart stutters, dread crashing in as she sprints outside. Jahar is there, sitting by the horse that Aza had tied to the tree. There is no other horse in sight. He could not have walked here.
No!
He turns to her and smiles, but then, at the pure horror on her face, his smile drops.
"Aza..." He starts, but is cut off.
"Don't! How long?" Tears well in her eyes, and sobs threaten to choke her.
"Aza… I didn't know how to tell you. I didn’t think I would ever see you again. I was so excited to see you, I didn’t want to ruin it. And then you told me what your Jaddah had told you, and it all started to make sense. But I wanted you to learn more before I told you the truth."
"How long?!" She screams, heartbreak lacing her words.
"Just this morning. King Abasi came to visit me in the dungeons. His men held me down as he beat me. I tried to fight them off but they outnumbered me. And then he stabbed me through my heart and tossed my body. I bled out on the floor.” He lowers his eyes as if ashamed before tearful ones look back up at her, “I am so sorry, my love. "
"No." It is a heart-shattering whisper.
Aza's legs give out, and her knees crash to the ground. She lets out a wail. Screams of horror and sobs echo out of her, feeling as if her whole world has crashed down around her.
Jahar can't be dead. This can't be true. This must be a nightmare. Wake up, wake up!
But the more she screams and begs herself to wake up, for it to all be a nightmare, nothing changes; he is dead.
After her lungs and throat cannot take the screaming anymore, and her eyes can produce no more tears, she stands.
"Aza, my love." Jahar tries to talk to her.
Aza walks away from him. She reenters the veil. Teiliana is the only one still at the portal. She is sitting on the porcelain ledge, where Aza had been standing.
"Come here, child." She reaches out her arms.
Aza sits down next to her. Wiping away tears.
"Please, fix this,” Aza begs. “He shouldn't have died. It was my fault! Just like it was my fault with Mama."
"Your mother was not your fault."
"I thought you couldn't speak of the dead."
"Well, I am not supposed to. My sisters and Death will have my head."
"Please. I already lost my mom. I can't live without him. You must be able to do something."
"I am sorry, my dear child. I do not have that power to change the past, to interfere with life and death." Teiliana’s voice is soft and solemn.
"But you made a bargain with Death. I will make one with him as well." Aza states, determined.
"But I gave him my life, my eternal life, in doing so."
"I have no life without Jahar."
Teiliana pauses, contemplating, "I will explain how you can speak to him tomorrow morning. Stay the night still. It is important."
"Okay."
"Say goodnight to your Jahar. I will get the guest house ready for you."
"Okay. Thank you," Aza goes to stand, but a question pops into her head, "Why are you helping me, seemingly in secret?"
"I see myself in you, and no one deserves the heartbreak you have endured. I know how it can change a person, ruin them. I, of all people, know that. I don't want the same thing to happen to you as it did to me."
Aza nods, absorbing her words. Then she exits the veil once more to find Jahar in the same place, now pacing back and forth.
"Aza! Please, talk to me! I am sorry, my love." Panic laces his words.
"I am going to fix all of this," Aza informs him.
"How?"
"I am going to make a bargain with Death."
"No! Aza, you can't! It's too dangerous! You'd be putting your life in danger!"
"I have no life without you," she repeats to Jahar. "Why are you a lost spirit?"
He sucks in a breath, "because… because I have unfinished business with you."
"As do I. I cannot continue in any capacity in life or death until I make this right."
His eyes are sad and full of worry, but he nods in understanding.
"I am going to spend the night in the veil. I am sorry, I cannot invite you in."
"It is alright. I hope you rest well. I will be waiting out here for you." He steps up to her and reaches out, but his hand goes right through her arm.
Aza feels the cool breath of it, and her heart shatters again. He is dead. He can no longer touch her. They didn't touch for years; she had only just been able to touch him, to give herself to him, and now he was merely a spirit, someone she couldn't have yet again.
A tear slips down her cheek, "Good night, my love. I will do what I must to make this right."
He swallows hard, "Good night. I love you.”
She chokes back a sob, "I love you."
“Promise me you will be careful. And please don’t shut me out. I will be here for you the entire time." Jahar begs, Aza can tell he is trying to get closer to her, to hold her, kiss her, but he cannot.
“I-I promise. But you cannot talk me out of it.”
“I know.” He dips his head, defeated.
“I love you with all my heart.”
“And I love you with all of mine, beating or not.”
Aza can feel her heart crack.
She looks at him one last time and then she leaves, heading back to the veil, wiping away the tears spilling from her eyes.
Sleep comes in fragments. No spirits, only anxiety and heartbreak clawing through her rest.
She had only barely fallen asleep before the creaking of the floor awakened her. She sat up in bed, expecting to see Teiliana there. Instead stood a short, petite woman with long, straight reddish-brown hair and bright blue eyes.
Aza recognized the face immediately. She couldn't believe her eyes. She rubbed them to make sure she was actually there. When her vision cleared, she still stood there.
"Mama?"
"Hello, my darling."