Chapter 6
Vaughn
There are only a few people seated at tables and a couple more on stools at the bar. I walk over and take a seat at the bar, waiting for Jax or Marshall to notice me.
“Hey, hey! If it isn’t the new Cornerstone dealer.
” Jax always has jokes. I knew this would become a thing the moment Elijah downed that drink.
My years of friendship with these two has taught me that everything that happens in their lives is just material for their next comedic performance.
And their lives are a comedic performance.
“Hilarious. You get an F for originality.”
Jax mimes a shot to the heart and stumbles backward. “Ouch. Low blow, Volkswagen. Low blow.”
Jax calls me Volkswagen because my initials are V.W. I swear I don’t know where he comes up with this stuff, but people actually do laugh at him all the time.
“I have a proposition for you.”
Jax’s eyebrows shoot up, and he flashes me a lascivious grin.
“Actually, I have a proposition for both of you.”
Jax’s smile drops, and he looks back at Marshall. His head cocks to the side, looking Marshall up and down. He cocks his head to the other side, seeming to have come to some sort of conclusion.
“I can handle that. My only rule is no sword crossing. Actually, the rule is no Marshall-to-Jax touching of any kind. Other than that, I’m in.”
If I didn’t know this guy like the back of my hand, I would swear that he’s serious.
He isn’t. He doesn’t see me that way. Neither of them ever had romantic interest in me actually.
I’m not sure if they didn’t want to create a tense workplace situation or if they just weren’t attracted to me, but they’ve only ever hit on me in jest.
My eyes close, and I massage my temples, trying to call upon sanity that I don’t possess. Marshall has joined us now, and he’s doing the classic bartender move wiping down a glass while looking back and forth between us.
“What’s up, V Dub?”
“I need your help.”
Marshall’s face gets serious. “Yeah. Of course. What do you need?”
These guys are best friends because Jax is the fun and Marshall is the sensibility....more sensible than Jax anyway. They need each other.
“I need proxies.” My conviction wavers a bit once the words are out in the air, drifting between us. Am I really going to hand over the reins of my life to these two? Yes. I am . There are no better people on the planet than these two weirdos. They’re my weirdos.
Their chins drop in unison. “Proxies?” Marshall parrots back to me.
“Yeah. As you both know, I don’t have the best judgment when it comes to people. I need you two to act as my proxies and decide for me who gets to be in my life.”
They look at one another, and a silent conversation transpires between them.
They break out into slow grins, and still no words have been spoken aloud.
They each raise both hands high above their heads and double high-five one another like a couple of frat bro’s.
Suddenly, this doesn’t seem like such a wise decision after all.
“We’re in.”
Jax is way too eager to confirm this. I am now seeing that it’s likely I’ve made yet another disastrous commitment.
The sudden street noise lets me know the door just opened behind me. Both Jax and Marshall look up to see who has entered. Marshall looks skyward, seeming to be thanking God for something, while Jax closes his eyes and pinches his lips together to hold in a laugh.
It only takes a moment to realize what they’re so happy about. I hear him before I see him.
“Hey, it’s Jax, right?”
Jax looks at me with a smug smile plastered across his too handsome face. “Hey man. Yeah, that’s right. Elijah, isn’t it?”
Elijah is standing directly beside me now, and I look up at him.
He’s surprised to see me. The shock on his face is clear.
He’s not happy to see me. That’s evident too.
I get a little stabbing pain in my chest at the realization.
My smile falters, and he notices. He shakes off the surprise and tosses me a friendly smile.
“Hey. Long time no see.” He chuckles awkwardly. He’s uncomfortable. I make him uncomfortable. Last night I was his soulmate, and this morning I’m someone he didn’t want to run into.
Elijah looks back to Jax. “I think I left my license here last night. Have you seen it?”
And as though he had foreseen this entire situation play out long before even I got here, Jax pulls Elijah’s license out of his back pocket and presents it to him with a flourish of his wrist. Elijah reaches up to grab it, but Jax pulls it back, slipping it out of Elijah’s grasp.
Elijah’s face contorts in confusion, and I assume that my own expression likely mirrors his.
“You know, Elijah, a funny thing was happening just before you walked in here. It’s almost like the timing of this whole thing was.
.....fated or something. One can only speculate, of course.
” Jax is rubbing his chin and inspecting the license like he’s Sherlock Holmes, and he believes Elijah may be guilty of ritualistic murder.
Right on cue, the faithful assistant John Watson strides forward, wearing the same smug grin as Sherlock.
“Well, hello there, Mr. Washington.” He puts way too much emphasis on the Mr.
“You might be happy to know that you have walked in on a very interesting conversation indeed.”
Elijah looks to me for help or possibly an escape plan, but I just give him a weak smile and turn back to my ex-friends, giving them a subtle head shake to signal my displeasure at what I know they’re obviously dying to share with this man.
Marshall closes his eyes again and nods emphatically.
They’re definitely going to tell him. I drop my face into my arms on the bar.
“You see, Mr. Washington, our V Dub here has made some really shit choices in men. In all people, really.”
“Except us.” Jax cuts in.
“Yes. Except us, of course.” Marshall confirms. “So.” Marshall clears his throat for dramatic effect, and I swear I’m about to try out that neck chopping thing right now.
“Vaughny here came to us, her most trusted advisors.” Jax elbows Marshall and gives him a dramatic wink of approval for the trusted advisors comment.
Marshall continues. “Only moments ago, she asked us to be her proxies. Do you know what a proxy is, Mr. Washington?” Marshall’s voice has become increasingly more British as he drones on.
Elijah’s face twists in apparent offense. “Yeah. I know what a proxy is.” He seems appropriately insulted by the question.
“Of course you do.” British Marshall tells him.
“So, as proxies for Miss Webb.” Now I’m Miss Webb.
We are Mr. Washington and Miss Webb in this mucked up interrogation or informational seminar.
It’s difficult to ascertain which it is at this point.
He continues without breaking stride with a not at all believable British accent.
“We are now tasked with vetting the individuals or persons that Miss Webb spends her time with. She cannot spend time with anyone who has not been approved by us, the proxies, and she must spend time with whomever we deem fit.”
“Whoa. What? That wasn’t part of the agreement.”
Jax pats the top of my head in a ‘simmer down there’ gesture and says, “Now just you wait one minute, Miss Webb. You will get the opportunity to speak, but you must practice decorum.”
Elijah places both hands flat on the bar and says, “Listen, none of this has anything to do with me. I just really need to get my license, and I’ll get out of your hair so you can work out this proxy thing in private.”
“Well, you see there, Mr. Washington, that’s where you are quite wrong. My assistant here-” Marshall is cut off mid-sentence when Jax jumps in, breaking character.
“The fuck? I’m not the assistant. I’m Holmes. You’re the assistant, Watson.”
“In what world am I the assistant? You’re the obvious Watson, Watson.”
They continue to bicker back and forth, so I take this opportunity to turn to Elijah and apologize.
“Listen, I am really sorry, okay? Not just about this. I’m sorry about everything.
I don’t tell anyone my real name. You already know why.
I was going to tell you, though. I really was.
It’s just that, by the time we got to my apartment, where we could have a conversation, you were high. Like Rick James high.”
Elijah scoffs. “I was not Rick James high.”
“Uhh, do you remember anything after we entered my apartment?”
He pauses for a moment. “Well, no, but I know I wasn’t Rick James high. Rick James did coke. You roofied me.”
“I did not roof-” I stop myself before I get pulled into another argument with yet another illogical male. “Fine. You weren’t Rick James high. Maybe you were Snoop Dogg high.”
“Yeah. Definitely Snoop Dogg high.”
“Okay then. My point is that you were high. I knew you wouldn’t remember anything I said, and telling you my real name wouldn’t have meant anything. I came clean as soon as you woke up, and I tried to tell you my name, but you insisted on not hearing it, and you left.”
Elijah looks like a scolded child as he looks down at the floor and massages the nape of his neck.
“Yeah. I guess that all makes sense. I don’t know.
Maybe it was just a bit of a shock to wake up and not remember a big chunk of the night, and then find out I didn’t even know the real name of the person whose home I slept in. ”
“Understandable. So, can we start over?”
Elijah nods slowly. “Yeah.” He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. “Elijah Washington, Nice to meet you.”
I shake his hand and introduce myself. “Likewise, Elijah. I’m Vaughn Webb.”
A phone is ringing. Eli slips his hand into his back pocket, silencing the phone without checking to see who’s calling.
Feeling eyes on me, I realize that the detectives have stopped bickering some time ago.
We both turn to look at them. They’re wearing twin heart eyes, and they have their chins resting on one another’s hands.
It’s weird as hell. Marshall has his elbows on the bar in front of Jax.
His fingers are overlapping, and Jax’s chin is resting on them.
Jax is in this exact same position, and Marshall’s chin is resting on his fingers.
It’s absolute madness. They definitely have a mind link.
“Why are you looking at us like that?” I ask both googly eyed men.
Again, the detectives look at one another and have a silent conversation.
They apparently agree that Jax will field this one.
“Well, Miss Webb. The moment you appointed us your lifetime, unexchangeable, non-take backable proxies, we decided that you would be dating Mr. Washington here. And then, who walked through the door but none other than the man himself, only moments later? Now, I don’t believe in signs, except yes, I do and this is definitely a sign. ”
Everyone is silent for a few minutes. Elijah is the first to speak.
He’s rubbing the back of his neck again.
It draws attention to his hair that’s pulled back into a knot at his nape.
It’s dark blond. I can’t tell how long it is because it’s all tied up in the same thin leather strap he wore last night.
I love his hair. It’s beautiful. He speaks, and it breaks my hair trance.
“As appealing as it sounds to go out with a woman who has been forced to date me, I think I will have to politely pass on this one.”
Damn. That one hurt. More than it should. He’ll have to politely pass on this one? I shouldn’t even care. I have no business dating anyone right now. I do, though. I care. That probably means that I should stay away from this guy.
“What the fuck?” Jax is outraged. “We serve you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you have to politely pass?”
“I don’t mean any offense. I just prefer my women...interested.”
“She’s interested. You’re interested aren’t you, V? Tell him how interested you are.”
I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything.
Instead, I will the Earth to swallow me whole.
Unfortunately, in classic universe working against me fashion, the Earth does not swallow me, and I’m forced to face this awkward situation, so I handle it the only way I know how, with venom and sarcasm.
“Oh, please do forgive me, Mr. Washington. I am so sorry that I didn’t fall at your feet hard enough.
Never mind that I risked life and limb sticking my hand down a stranger’s throat to save him from a SELF-INFLICTED drugging.
Please do forget that I didn’t force that same STRANGER to go to the hospital and instead gave him a ride TO MY HOME, where I carried his heavy ass up stairs and into MY BED.
Let’s not mention how I stayed up the entire night watching over said stranger because I was terrified that he might get sick in the night and I wouldn’t hear him choking on his own vomit.
Then, that same stranger wakes up and gets all pissy that I didn’t tell him my name quickly enough, so he leaves without so much as a thank you!
” My chest is heaving with unspent rage.
Elijah is looking at me like I just scalped him, and I’m waving the hide in his face.
He’s stupefied. I look back at Jax and Marshall, and they look just like Elijah.
Pulling the cap down further on my head, I turn on my heels, and sashay out the door.
That’ll show him. You fuck with the Vaughn, you get the venom.