Chapter 14
Vaughn
“Why don’t we ever hang out at your place?”
Eli’s fork pauses for the briefest of moments before spearing his fourth dumpling. He eats like such a girl. I’ve fully masticated six dumplings before he has a fourth in position.
“I like it here. You’re more comfortable here.”
“How can we know that when I’ve never been to your house?”
He’s silent again. Why doesn’t he want to go to his house?
Does he have a Norwegian manservant fostering unhealthy preoccupations regarding hamsters?
A peculiar absorption in the X-Files? A foot fetish?
Or is it because of the person whose calls and texts he keeps ignoring?
I trust him. I do. He’s not the kind of guy who lies or deceives.
But he is hiding something. That’s clear.
Eli’s words break me free of my ragged thoughts.
“I guess I’m more comfortable here then. Everything here smells like you. And it...I don’t know. It feels like you here.”
Eli’s tone suggests that he doesn’t really want to talk about this. It’s probably for the best since I’m not sure I’m prepared for the answers to questions I haven’t yet asked.
“There is somewhere I want to take you, though.”
This is an obvious diversion tactic, but damn it, I’m intrigued.
“And where exactly do you want to take me? ....We are coming back to the your house conversation, by the way.”
“Never had a doubt. Have you ever shot a gun?”
My mind is reeling for a moment. A gun? It’s not just me, right? That came straight out of left field.
“Uh, no. I’ve never shot a gun. I’ve never actually seen a gun in real life.” My tone is incredulous. Of course, I haven’t shot a gun. I mean, has he seen this skin? These nails? Are these the nails of Annie Oakley? No. No, they are not.
“Hmm, we need to fix that.”
“I assure you I have no need of a gun or shooting skills.”
“How will you defend yourself if you’re ever attacked again?”
Well, thank you very much for that gut punch. I never actually said that Chase attacked me. I can’t deny it, though. He’s not wrong.
“What good are you if not to defend me from attack? Look at you. Aren’t you basically a dimpled, walking, talking attacker deterrent?”
“As much as I would like to be in your presence every hour of every day, I cannot be. When I can’t be with you, you need to be able to protect yourself.”
“You act like this is the Wild West and there’re bandits constantly afoot. This is Austin. Dudes in skinny jeans and wanna be cowboys aside, my biggest worry is Hamlet, the homeless guy who lives near the bus stop on Fifth and he and I have an arrangement.”
“What arrangement?!”
“Calm down, Barney Fife. All I’m saying is, I don’t need to learn to shoot.”
“I’ll definitely be talking to Hamlet, and you do need to learn how to shoot. You also need to learn basic self-defense because, not only do you engage with potentially problematic homeless guys with obviously fake names, but you also have douchebag ex-boyfriends who can’t take a hint.”
Who does this guy think he is, attacking me with logic? Did I ask for rational input? I think not. Besides, Chase very recently stopped calling and texting. It seems like he might’ve finally gotten the hint.
“This place that you want to take me...it’s a shooting range, I presume.”
Eli simply nods in response and continues on with his mannerly eating. I suppose this could be fun. It would be super cool if I were a natural and could shoot better than Eli. Stranger things have happened.