Chapter 21 #2
“Uhh…” I hadn’t thought to narrow my question by time, nor did I think that what I was doing was anything more than making up a story using a few prompts.
I took another stone out of the pouch and set it down.
Everything morphed. “He is used up and ready for it—I am not sure what it is—but he is ready for it to be over. A new way of…” What?
I was story weaving. “I don’t understand,” I said.
“How, no, what are you to him?” How hadn’t I asked that question yet?
I lifted my gaze to the king. “Are you his father?”
“Ha! Gods no, woman! Could you imagine? How old do you think I am? That I fathered him at ten?”
“I don’t know his age. I just… It’s hard to make sense of what I’m seeing. There is a bond… I think if I understood how the two of you—”
“Skael,” King Arik said, turning to look out the window at the chunks of ice bobbing atop the roiling sea.
“He was given to me by life. I was given to him. To what end, only the gods know. You may go. Keep practising. Ask the stones questions you already know the answers to. Study how they respond.”
I gathered up the stones and left with a polite nod.
I was eager to visit Loric’s gold and then several other rooms to disguise my visit before making it back to my chamber.
If I were quick, I could be tucked away in my own space before the moon grew entirely shy and the palace was overcome with heretical chants and whispers.
There was a song I was working on… a Norsern tune that I wanted to translate to the lyre with some Islish flair. I would have the day to devote to it.
I found Loric’s gold unharmed, the tiny feather I’d left in the narrow crevice beneath the door unmoved, letting me know that no one had been in or out since I’d last checked.
No sooner had I returned to my chamber and closed my door did I hear the palace quieting. I had a sharp jolt of fear, which was something that had been happening a lot as I imagined answering questions from the order upon my return.
I need to practise my responses, I told myself yet again.
I would have to lie, I knew that, but I would have to lie carefully.
Who was to say what my order knew of King Arik or his court?
I paced in a panic for some time before the sound of humming in the hall outside distracted me.
It wasn’t a casting, rhythmic hum as was usual on the shy moon, but something lazy and meandering.
A tune of pleasure. I recognized the voice…
There was a knock.
Surely not, I thought. All the same, my heart changed tempo.
I opened the door, and he was there.
Fell.
I think I had convinced myself he didn’t look as I remembered him looking, but seeing him? the lazy slant of his shoulders, the way he held his head back, the thickness of the muscles in his throat…
I was swarmed with sudden rage. Looking back, I think it wasn’t sudden at all. This man was my captor after all, my apparent guardian. And then, after I’d stood in his presence, feeling all that came with being near him, he’d abandoned me.
“Hello,” he said. “I have heard you speak Norsern now?”
“To some people,” I said, coldly.
He grinned.
Are you fucking jesting?
“Do you speak to fools?” he said.
Owl-face, I reminded myself. Keep your owl-face on. “Almost never.”
“Can now be one of the almosts?”
Stop. Stop. Stop. Go now.
He laughed. “You have summoned me. Please do not send me away again.”
I couldn’t say anything to that because it didn’t make sense, so I stood there looking at him. A long time, it seemed. But also, endlessly short. I’d forgotten the feeling of his presence, the landscape of his face. Remembering was… difficult.
“If there is a task you want done, I will do it,” he said, taking the smallest step forward, not quite into my chamber, but closer to the door.
I couldn’t think. His presence was an unhinged thing to me. His voice… I took a step back, keeping the space between us.
He stopped and retreated the small distance he’d come. “I have done you a great harm. I should like to make medicine for it.”
“Yes, you have,” I said. “And then, you left me here—this is a tricky place.”
His smile disappeared. His voice softened. “You sent me away.”
I couldn’t ignore the absurdity of the statement a second time. “How could I have done that? I could not speak to you.”
He shrugged. “I knew you wanted me to leave. I am not sure how. Just like I knew you wanted me to return. I dreamt you put on the bracelet I made you. That you wanted protection.”
I blinked three times and buried all thought of dreaming.
And then, because he had already shown himself to be incredulously stupid, I decided none of what we were talking about mattered.
He’d offered to do anything I asked, so I said, “If I ask you to secure me passage home before the king has permitted it, and you do it, what will King Arik do to you?”
Fell shrugged a second time, his grin creeping back onto his face. “He will yell and then forgive. This is our way.”
“This is my request then,” I said.
“It will take time. I would have to find a vessel and some rowers—”
“What about the one we arrived on?”
“It is Arik’s. We could steal it, but not by ourselves, so I would have to convince others to help, and that would not be so easy because people do not like displeasing Arik—it would also be wise to wait until well into spring, when it is not so cold at sea…
I would like you to be alive when I am done helping, if skael will allow it. ”
I accepted the reasoning. I also wanted to be alive when I got home. I could wait a month or two to ensure that. By then, King Arik might be happy to send me home anyway, and I wouldn’t have to rely on the absurd man standing before me.
What man looks like he looks? I thought. Stands as he stands? Arrives so suddenly in a life and then departs and arrives again without proper warning?
He was still smiling a little.
I thought, I’ll have none of this, which was somewhat terrifying as that was what my mother always said when one of the children was misbehaving.
“I am sorry,” he said. “For my many—” There was a word I didn’t understand. “—that brought you here.” His eyes were so softened as he spoke that I couldn’t doubt his sincerity. He truly was sorry.
“Good,” I said.
He laughed.
“Nothing about that is funny.”
“No, not that. Or… your face is a little funny, but I laugh because I thought when you summoned me that maybe it was a trick. Maybe you would strike me with lightning—”
“Stop speaking like this,” I said. “I have summoned no one.”
He was still smiling, and it made me feel like there were mice scurrying around in my stomach.
I sighed. “The moon is shy, do you not have some daring thing to do?”
He grinned wider. Brutally. Devastatingly. “Who says I am not doing it?”
My mind broke a little at that. I said, “Please leave.”
“As you wish. If there is something you need, you can request it. I will see what I am able to do.” I could hear him humming to himself as he wandered away.
I shut the door and let out a long breath. Even though my cheeks felt as hot as coals and my chest as frail as cinders, I smoothed my skirt and said to myself—out loud, like a mad person—“You handled that very well.”