Chapter 50
Fifty
“When we are free of the king’s pursuit, where to?” Yarlav’s face was swollen, red, and blotchy. He wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve.
I blinked. The wind created by our speed was drying my eyes. Everything was so dry.
“Kaken?”
Halvar squirmed in my arms, moaning, but I continued to press him so hard against my chest that he cried.
Yarlav still had his hands on my shoulders as I trembled. I shook so much, I was scared I would drop Halvar.
Yarlav’s brow furrowed. “Kaken, we must choose a direction.”
The drums beat a smooth, fast rhythm as salty water crashed into the head of the ship. I tasted metal—the aftertaste of blood and death. Ships were still following, but each moment they seemed a little farther away, a little more like dreams than real things full of raiders and rowers and axes.
“I do not understand,” I whispered, brushing my fingers against an itch on my forehead. Then I stared at the blood on my fingers. New, red blood from my forehead. Older, crusted blood from Flojer. Yarlav’s blood was likely somewhere in the mix, too.
“What happened?” I said.
“The king’s raiders asked for Kakyi. Flojer refused.” A soft-spoken man on the younger side had come forward with a damp cloth. He was moving to wipe my forehead with it, but I pulled my head back.
“Fuck!” someone shouted. “We cannot return now.”
“We can,” someone else laughed. “Only the visit will be very short, just long enough to lose our heads.”
“It is not funny!”
“It is a little.”
There was more cursing from many mouths.
“With a foreign child captain.”
“This is not so much a permanent problem.”
Yarlav stepped closer to me, shifting his shoulder in front of me. “You cannot!”
“Calm yourself, no one is going to slay her—”
“Speak for yourself.”
My mind was made of foam. “But… Rowan and Fara…”
Yarlav turned to me. “Arik’s raiders tried to stop Fara and Kelt from returning to the ship. Fara knew something was wrong. She warned us… Rowan listened to her. He struck first. He drew them to himself. I would not have had the time to get to the king’s tent if he had not…”
I understood Yarlav’s words, but they still didn’t add up to the moment I found myself drowning in.
“I came to fetch you and Fell. Kaker told me to make sure you came back if anything went wrong. That Hyrold demanded I bring you both back… Fell and I saw the king’s raiders boarding The Fearsome Beast. He told me to take you back to the ship as soon as it was safe. He said he would speak to the king.”
It made sense, but also it didn’t.
“I only managed half of my father’s order…” Yarlav’s jaw hardened. He cleared his throat. “You wish for us to live, Kaken?”
I nodded.
“So, we will not stay in the Land of the Northernmost Star. Is there somewhere you would like us to go?”
I pushed away the damp cloth coming for my forehead a second time, and moved to the edge of the ship, pressing Halvar between my body and the rails. I hoped the rushing air would clear my mind. I needed it to.
Yarlav followed, sticking close to my side—so much closer than felt normal. I leaned my face over the rails, thinking for a moment that I would be sick.
Deep black-blue washed with white. Lurch. Lurch. Lurch.
Where would Halvar be safest?
I thought of Fell’s hands and dry heaved. Nothing came out.
I took a deep breath, all the way to the womb as Fara had taught me. Fara.
I can’t go to the Isle. Halvar is a sea dog to them, and Arik would think I would go there. Hyrold, help me. I closed my eyes and took in another salty breath. I don’t know any other places.
At that very moment, the sun came through the clouds with such force that I could see it even with my eyes closed.
I opened my eyes to the brilliance of white bouncing off the surface of the sea.
I raised my hand to shield my eyes, but even then, the sun was the only thing I could fathom for a full heartbeat.
Fara’s words leapt into my mind. You will be told only the smallest piece of the whole. Go to this place. Pay attention. Only if you listen to the first piece will you see the second.
“South,” I said.
I heard Yarlav repeat it. I heard several other crew members repeat it. A map was thrust on the deck at my feet, forced open against the wind. “Where in the south, Kaken?”
I knelt, Halvar squirming in my arms. The map was large but didn’t contain nearly as much as Arik’s map had. I pointed to the edge. “Here, but further.”
“What is there?” Yarlav’s voice was hushed.
“The sun worshippers.”
“What?”
“The sun worshippers… Arik worships the god of truth. This means they are his sworn enemies.” Halvar will be safe from Arik there.
Yarlav looked up at me then, his white brows furrowed. His stone-blue gaze was firm and unblinking. He nodded.
“South-west-west-south-south!” he shouted.
The Fearsome Beast groaned as her direction shifted. The rowers grunted as they thrust oars away from their chests and then reclaimed them. The sea quieted, splitting easily as the ship cut through it.
I numbed entirely. There was no sadness or anger or yearning inside me.
I could have worried about the crew—about someone slicing me apart and claiming captainship for themselves.
I could have worried about Dayne and the fleet of Norsern ships that might be coming his way.
I could have worried that the sun worshippers were long gone or had changed and no longer cared about those sworn to the truth. But I didn’t.
The day had emptied me of everything I had and everything I was.
Never again would there be too many stars in the sky.