Chapter 21
Iput the phone to my ear, biting my lip. I knew one thing: spilling the beans to Lisa about what went down was a bad move. It was kinda silly, but I had to spill the beans to her to let out my feelings. Wrapping the bathrobe tightly around my body, I headed towards the fridge and opened it. I grabbed a can of soda and twisted the cover, opening it to take a huge gulp.
“Can you hear me?” Lisa asked, my voice impatient and holding a tinge of anger. ”I”m here, Lisa. It”s just that I already know all these things. I do. I just...”
“You just what? You just what?” Lisa fired from the other end. “You don’t know anything! The only thing you think about is him! Who is going to protect you? Who? Now the idiot not only stood you up, but he also called you a nuisance! I need you to decide to cut him off, once and for all!”
I rubbed my index finger and thumb against my head. I pulled the phone from my ear and placed it on the kitchen counter, switching to loudspeaker. Lisa’s voice filled the room and for a brief second, I wanted to tell her that I would call her back some other time.
But I figured my friend knew me well enough - I”d definitely catch myself lying and trying to weasel out of this conversation. ”I heard you loud and clear, Lisa. I won”t waste my time with him anymore,” I muttered beneath my breath, taking another swig of the bottle.
I wasn”t just saying that to end the conversation. I genuinely have no desire to be with Leo anymore. Not after everything he did to me today. He disrespected me once again. “Please don’t, please don’t.” Lisa begged, my voice quivering.
Cassie”s brows knitted. I tilted my head to listen. Could it be that my best friend was crying? Even if Lisa was crying, it wouldn”t be out of character for her to be invested in my problems. I often cried when anything went wrong in her life.
I clicked my tongue and caught the last bit of soda. Then, I shook the bottle over my mouth, hoping for more. Finally, a small smile crossed my face as I tossed the empty bottle away.
“I won’t, babe. I promise. It’s all over. He declared it with his own words, and I have no issues here. What are you saying?That ifhe didn’t declare it, would you go back?” Lisa asked, my voice rising in what I suspected was either disbelief or anger.
I was about to say Lisa should trust me more when I heard a loud doorbell. I frowned. It was strange. Looking at my phone, I saw it was past nine pm. So why would someone be at my door now?
“Is that your doorbell?” Lisa asked and I nodded even though no one could see me.
The doorbell rang again and I panicked. “Alright then Lisa, I’ll call you back,” I muttered.
“Don’t forget to…”
Doorbell again.
I hurriedly ended the call and walked towards the door. I jerked when I heard the doorbell again.“Will you calm down?” I fired. “I’m on my way. What is wrong with you?” I snapped.
I walked towards the door, and I pulled it open with frustration, hating that it still shook. I had barely opened it when someone fell face flat, right into my house. I froze. I had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation for what was happening. Bending down to touch his back, the smell of alcohol hit me strongly. What in the world was going on?
I bent down to touch him, gently tapping his shoulder. ”Leo? What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice filled with concern. ”I”m trying really hard, but I love you!” he slurred, then rested his face back on the floor. I froze.
“What is he doing here?” Lisa would kill me if she heard that I had allowed Leo into the house. Hadn’t she said it was all over? I let out a breath and extended my hand to help him up. ”You”re drunk, Leo. Come with me,” I murmured quietly and guided him inside the house.
I swallowed and held him, helping Leo stand on his feet. He swayed slightly, his eyes glassy and red. I swallowed again, my eyebrows knitting together in worry. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was past 9 PM! What was he doing in my house at this hour, and drunk, no less!
Oh no! Lisa would be so mad at me. But I couldn”t just send him away if he came all the way here. Did he drive here? ”Hey Leo, what”s up?” I asked, walking to the window to check if I could see his car in the driveway. My heart raced as I noticed a black Mercedes Benz parked in my driveway. Concerned, I turned to him. How had he managed to drive in this state?
He smiled at me, his blue eyes lightening up disturbingly. “I’m not drunk I. I’m depressed. I’m very depressed!” He groaned, digging his fingers into the curls of his hair. I let out a breath and held his arm. He leaned on me for support and I led him towards a couch.
“Why Leo? What’s going on?”
I gently put him down and he leaned back, tears spilling from his blue eyes. He grabbed my wrist and my eyes widened slightly.”I... I just... I just couldn”t stop thinking about you. I needed to see you. Oh no!” He smacked his forehead. He looked away before turning his eyes back to my face. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ve run away from it for so long but I…”
I stepped backwards and blinked. My mouth fell slightly open. The wheels in my head were spinning so fast, I thought my knees would buckle and I would fall. This had to be a joke. There could be no other way.
Without saying a word, I turned around and went to the kitchen. I quickly opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He drank the water and is now confused. As a result, he can”t think straight or speak clearly.
I slammed the fridge door shut, leaning against it. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, hoping to steady my racing heart. This was insane! Clutching the bottle, I swallowed and headed to the kitchen to prepare some lemonade for him. Returning to the living room, I handed him the glass. ”Here, drink this. You need to stay hydrated.”
He stared at me blankly for a moment. His eyes widened in shock. Then, he took the lemonade with a quick nod. As he took a few sips, I couldn”t help but notice his disheveled appearance. It struck me how much worse it was compared to the other day at the office when he snapped at me. His overgrown stubble and unkempt blonde hair suggested neglect. It was like he hadn”t touched a comb in days.
Had he even showered? ”Why are you being so nice to me?” he muttered, aggressively wiping away the tears streaming down his cheeks. ”I was so mean to you at the office. After everything I said, I don’t deserve your kindness. I thought you would yell at me.”
I stared at him for a moment, then sighed and sat down beside him, tightening my bathrobe. As I looked him over, a wave of pity washed over me. ”What else could I do, Leo? Turn you away in this state? You”re a mess, and regardless of everything, if I can help, then I want to”
He turned to look at me again, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about the tears rolling down his cheeks. Leo wasn’t the kind of man who cried. I had never seen him shed a tear, even when we were dating in college.
I don’t deserve your kindness,” he sobbed, clutching the bottle of water. ”All these years, I”ve only been mean to you, and yet here you are still taking care of me. I gave him another once-over. Something felt off. That much was certain. He had disappeared, and now that he was back, he looked disheveled. And to top off it, he was drunk in my house?
I really wanted to care for him, but how could I? Wasn’t he mean to me when I tried to be nice? I bit my lip and blinked, hating that I was starting to tear up. Leo, I”m only being kind because you need it. However, that doesn”t excuse how mean you were to me. All I wanted was to show you concern.
My voice sounded strong and confident, like something Lisa would totally dig. I held back a grin of victory. When he tried to grab my hand, I pulled it away and shot him a fierce look. I was dead set on my choices. I wasn”t going to let him back in, no way. He glanced down, lips tight, deep in thought.
“Cassandra, you’re right. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. But I was just so lost and confused. My world had turned on its head, and I didn’t know how to handle it!” He groaned. I shook my head and let out a bitter laugh. “When I asked you to talk to me instead of pushing me away, didn’t you say you could handle your issues?” I sneered.
“I lied! I lied!”
His voice echoed around the house. He leaned forward, with elbows on his knees and fingers clutching his hair. I stared at him curiously, raising an eyebrow. ”I lied! Because how do I explain that my Dad never killed anyone! It was my mother who did it and my father only took the fall?” He cried, his body quivering.
I blinked. That made no sense. I must have heard him wrong. “What did you say?” I leaned forward, my eyes filled with concern.He didn’t turn to look at me. His eyes remained fixed on the wooden floor as he spoke.
I had been getting some strange calls, Cass. They were about my past and threats to go to the press. That Saturday when I was supposed to meet you, I got the call again and they wanted to meet urgently. It was my Aunt Isabella who told me that my father never killed anyone. It was my mother who did, and he only took the fall.”
I stared at him, struggling not to act shocked by every word he spoke. As he spoke, a couple things started to make sense. “I had to get confirmation from my mother and then end up seeing my dad who is sick and dying. Everything I had ever known was a lie !” He groaned, his fingers digging into his blonde hair.
Back in college, I left you. I was running from his shadows. But, I discovered that he was innocent. I swallowed hard and reached to rub his thigh, tears filling my eyes. Suddenly, it started to make sense that all that time back in school, he must have been carrying so much pain.
I had tried to reach him many times after they broke up. When I finally heard the news about his father’s supposed murder, he had cut everyone off. This included his two best friends at the time. However, he didn”t launch more attacks. It was obvious that he was still reeling. I moved closer to him on the couch. My heart squeezed in my chest.
”Leo, I had no idea,” I whispered. ”You didn’t have to deal with it alone, Leo. You could have told me at that time...” He turned to look at me. I suddenly noticed how swollen his eyes were. It was as if he had spent many nights awake and crying. I should have told you earlier, but I was lost and confused. I was mean to a few people. So, I thought they might think I deserved it. Running away seemed easier.
I chewed my bottom lip and shook my head. Maybe it wouldn”t make sense to Lisa, but my heart broke for him. ”You keep doing it, don”t you?” I said. ”You fail to see how I deeply cared for you. I wanted to support you through everything. Yet, you lashed out at me for showing concern,” I added, tears streaming down my face.
He lifted his hand to wipe away my tears, then withdrew, uncertainty evident in his blue eyes. A tear ran down his cheek, and I reached out to wipe it away. He trembled, tears freely flowing now.
He leaned forward, placing his head on my shoulder as he wept.
”I know it now, Cassandra. I wish I realized it earlier, even at the office. Fear and pain pushed me away. Every day, I regret not being with you. I wanted to go back, to have you by my side. But I didn”t know how to act. I wanted you back. I”m sorry.”I swallowed, frozen. Hadn’t I spent several nights on my bed, shedding secret tears and trying to get over him? And now here he was, crying on my shoulder. He lifted his head to stare at me briefly, finally lifting his fingers to wipe off my cheeks.
I swallowed, feeling a huge lump in my throat that refused to budge. He held my gaze, and for a moment, it felt like time had stopped. My heart thudded so loudly against my ribcage that I feared it would burst. I didn’t utter a word as his hand stayed frozen against my cheek. I didn’t offer any warning as his lips parted, and when he leaned in, I parted mine.
It was against all my good senses but who on earth was I deceiving? I was madly in love with Leo Woodrow and the feelings had never gone anywhere. He leaned in, and his lips met mine. It felt like a million electric shocks tingling across my skin. I kissed him back, unable to hold back a soft moan. His lips pressed firmly against mine. He leaned closer, his arms wrapping around my shoulders.
The kiss was all that was needed to unlock the well where I had hidden all the feelings I had developed for him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned forward, our kiss becoming desperate and urgent. It was an unfurling of both our souls that had been kept away for way too long.
His tongue begged to enter. I opened my mouth, letting his tongue travel and flick against my teeth and the roof of my mouth. It sent thrills down my spine. My fingers dug into my hair, moaning in pleasure as he moaned.
He was eager, and I was willing. His lips left mine and kissed my neck. Tilted back, I yearned for his touch. I felt warmth and trembled with excitement. He drew me in, kissing the collar of my robe.
His sudden grunt alarmed me. I jerked back, eyes wide with fear. He leaned back, equal shock reflecting in his blue eyes.I reached forward and tightened the knot on my bathrobe. I did it in a hurried and agitated way. “You’re drunk Leo, you should sleep. You should get some rest.”
He blinked, shaking his head. “I’m not drunk I. I’m depressed. Not…” I quickly stood up, interrupting him. My heart pounded. He seemed drunk. Why else would he be here, sharing so openly? Even if not, I”d feel foolish in California. Giving in to my needs, showing my pain to someone who hurt me.
”Cass...” he grunted. Tears filled his eyes again. I snatched my eyes away and hurried towards the corridor.”I”ll grab fresh towels and check for a big one for you. You need a shower,” I whispered. Then, I moved forward. I sighed in relief, hearing his footsteps behind me.
While he was in the restroom, I took his clothes to the washing machine. I hoped this would calm my thoughts. I touched the tips of my fingers to my lips. I had kissed Leo Woodrow. Oh, what would Lisa say? I shut my eyes while the clothes were in the machine, my fingers pressed against my chest. He had his own burdens and he had carried them on his own in silence. I didn’t want to imagine how he had survived through it all and how he was currently surviving.
When I came back to the living room, he was tying the bathrobe I had laid out. It was clearly too short but would work until his clothes dried. Then, I smiled warmly at him. I had never seen this side of him. Ever. I had seen glimpses of it while they dated. But, nothing had prepared me for this rawness and vulnerability.
“You should sleep.” I muttered, pointing at the couch. There was no way I would allow him to share my bed. I could not trust my own body not to betray me.“I have a spare blanket and pillow for you.”
He smiled back, his blue eyes lightening up for the first time since I had seen him last week. “Thank you, Cassandra. I do not deserve?— “
“It’s okay.” I shook my head. “You know I’ll always be here for you. I was, and I will.”
He began to speak, but I felt a surge of fear. I dreaded hearing him express more feelings. It might stir up emotions I wasn”t ready to face. So, I quickly fetched a pillow and blanket. Once he settled on the couch, he drifted off to sleep within minutes.
I couldn’t help staring at him, my heart thudding against my chest. In the soft lamp light, his features were less hard and domineering. They were more like the man I had seen tonight — vulnerable and broken.
I wanted to hug him and run my fingers in his blonde curls. I wanted to protect him from the world and the drama his family brought.And it was then it struck me.
”You can say whatever you want, Cassandra Evans. But, you’re still desperately in love with this man.”