Chapter Twenty-one
Emma
I watch his car from my window, the glow of the dashboard lights painting him in soft blue and amber hues.
Why didn’t he want to come up? I sense there’s something he’s not telling me, but I don’t know why... or what he’d want to hide from me.
He”s so damn tempting, and I”m caught in the pull of what ifs and maybes. What if we can make this work? Maybe Alex would be happy for us. My fingers feel heavy as they hover over the phone screen as I reread our last texts, trying to gather my courage.
Come up?I type, my heart thundering a rapid beat against my ribs. I delete the words. I don’t want to pressure him into anything.
I can see you. Is everything okay?Send.
And I wait, seconds stretching into an eternity.
Then his reply bubble pops up on the screen. I think so.
His response is confusing. My offer for you to come up is still open. There. That’s not pressuring, but it gives him another chance to gracefully accept.
As I wait for a response, worry wells up in me. Why doesn”t he think it’s a good idea to come up? Did he lose interest all of a sudden? I just don’t understand. I gather up the mail that had been slipped through the slot in my door and put it in a pile on my table, then move toward my bedroom to change into my fuzzy pjs.
Thank you, but I’m not sure I should. His response, his doubt, bothers me and I make my way back to the window to see he’s still sitting out there like a lost puppy. I always told myself I wouldn”t take in strays, but this one is a keeper.
I frown at his words. Is he not interested in sleeping with me again? Maybe he no longer feels the pull between us. But I don’t believe that; I’d seen the way he’d tried to hide his reaction to me while washing glasses tonight. Does he not realize that I want him, too? That I feel a crushing need for him?
Well, the invitation still stands, if you change your mind. I don’t know what else to say.
I drop my phone on the bed, watching the screen as I change. When I look out the window again, I see his headlights flicker off and his door open, then slam shut as he stands. My heart leaps, then begins to gallop in my chest as heat prickles across every square inch of my skin.
His knock is softer than I expect, and I pull the door open to him. He’s staring down at me with an intensity and hunger I can’t escape, and a bolt of excited panic flashes through my chest. Maybe I misunderstood why he said it was a bad idea to come up, after all.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks, his voice soft and rough all at once. It’s a combination that leaves me melting inside.
“I have never been more sure about anything,” I say, my voice leaving no room for doubt. It”s now or never. And I choose now.
The door barely closes behind him and I”m in his arms. His lips crush to mine, fierce and demanding, leaving a liquid pool of superheated desire in my center. My fingers run through his hair, pulling him closer, as if I could somehow merge our very beings with this embrace.
“God, Emma,” he groans against my mouth, his voice filled with the same hunger that”s coursing through me. His hands roam over my back, branding me with every touch.
When we part, it”s like coming up for air after being submerged for far too long. The room spins slightly, and my senses are overwhelmed by him—by the scent of leather and pine soap that clings to his skin, by the heat of his body so close to mine.
“I think Alex is onto us,” Kade says, his voice suddenly serious.
His words cool the heat between us, but I think that was his intention. I back away and drop onto the couch, the cushions swallowing me. “How do you know?” I ask, trying to catch my breath, to focus on something other than the need still pulsating like club music across my skin.
He shrugs - a nonchalant gesture - but his eyes betray his very real concern. “Just a hunch.”
I trust him, and his hunches. My pulse races for entirely different reasons now.
“What do we do?” I ask.
“I’m still trying to figure that out,” he says. There”s a tension in his jaw that tells me he”s as torn and unsure as I feel.
“We can figure it out together,” I say, wanting him to know he’s not in this alone.
The room goes quiet, so quiet I can hear the steady rush of blood in my ears and hear the thumping of my heart trying to break free. I reach for him.
He moves closer and sits beside me on the couch. Our fingers lace together, and he brings my hand to his lips, the impulsive, sweet gesture catching me off guard.
His thumb rubs small circles on my wrist, the simple touch saying more than words. I want to forget the gravity of the moment, so I decide to shift the direction of our conversation away from Alex and heavy topics. Instead, I want to discuss the little things that matter.
“Is your favorite movie still that action-packed storm chaser flick?” I ask, the corners of my lips curving up.
A low chuckle escapes him. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“You can’t believe I remember that? You made us watch that movie a thousand times,” I say with a dramatic roll of my eyes.
He flashes a rebellious smirk that gets my pulse racing again. “And is yours still the big boat iceberg love story?” He turns the question on me, his dark eyes glittering with mischief.
I nod, feeling the shared history between us as we revisit simpler times. “What”s your favorite song?” I ask, curious, needing to know more about him.
“Here, let me show you.” He pulls out his phone, scrolls, and music fills the space between us.
Three notes in and I name the song. His appreciative glance has me shrugging my shoulders. “I love this song.” My confession brings a smile to his lips. It”s like finding a piece of myself in his music taste.
“Really?” He sounds surprised and looks pleased.
“Really,” I say with a nod of my head.I stand up and offer him my hands. He glances up at me, obviously unsure what I’m doing. But he takes my hands and stands with me, leaving his phone on the arm of my couch, still playing the song.
I lean into him. “Dance with me.”
He hesitates, a frown tugging at his brow, as if dancing is akin to stepping into a minefield. But I”m already swaying.
He relents and suddenly we”re moving together, bodies finding a rhythm that”s been waiting for us all along. In this dance, there”s no Alex, no secrets, just him and me and the heartbeat of this song we both love.
He feels like home, all warmth and strength, and I lean into him. Putting my head against his chest, I listen to the deep, steady beat of his heart. It beats in time with mine, and I think, maybe this is what falling for someone feels like.
Nothing has ever felt more right than this moment, with him, lost in the music and in each other’s arms.
The last chord of the song echoes in the room, leaving an almost tangible silence. His breath is warm against my skin, and I find I don’t want to pull away from him and I don’t want this moment to end.
“I don”t want to hide,” Kade says, his confession a brush of air that stirs a few hairs and tickles my ear.
“Neither do I,” I whisper back, my voice steady, though my insides quiver like jello. “I really like you, but Alex...” The thought of my brother not approving tightens something in my chest and makes it hard to breathe.
But it’s not just Alex. “And Ryan will lose his mind when he finds out.” I don’t care what Ryan thinks or how he feels, but I don’t want this to be a match to the powder keg that is that unhinged man.
“Ryan won’t be a problem,” Kade says, his gritty voice leaving no room for doubting his words. “But we both know you”re no damsel in distress, Emma.”
I nod. There have been plenty of times I’ve stood up for myself. “But it”s nice knowing you”ve got my back.”
“Always,” he says and my heart flip-flops in my chest.
We stand there for a moment longer, wrapped up in each other.
“Remember those endless board game nights?” I break away just enough to look into his eyes, feeling mischievous.
“How could I forget? I still think you cheat at monopoly.” He laughs, shaking his head with feigned disapproval.
“Me? Never.” I feign shock, gasping and pressing a hand to my heart. “I”m just lucky is all.”
With a playful roll of his eyes, he watches as I dash to the closet and emerge with a box of Cards Against Humanity. This should lighten the mood.
Kade’s eyes dance. “Bring it on,” he says with a grin. We settle onto the floor like we had when we were younger, ready for whatever the night might throw at us.
I look at the black card, then put my answering white card face down on the floor before him. Kade raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. “You know this game is meant for more people, right?”
I wave off his comment with a chuckle. “Are you saying you can”t handle a little one-on-one?” My words are light, teasing, but there”s a thrumming excitement underlining every syllable.
He reaches for my card, picking it up as his gaze never leaves mine. “Oh, I can handle it. Just don”t want you to get too confident. Remember who used to win at Mario Kart.”
“Used to being the key term,” I say, sticking my tongue out at him playfully. The warmth in his gaze tells me he”s enjoying this as much as I am.
“That sounded like a challenge,” he says, and I shrug. Then his gaze ticks back to the white card, and he busts out laughing. I join him and we laugh until my sides hurt. With tears in my eyes, I lay back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. He takes the spot next to me, glancing at me, then at the ceiling, then at me again.
“What are we looking at?” he whispers.
“I used to think the club was my future, but lately...” I nibble my lip. “Lately, it feels more like shackles.” It’s a truth I haven’t shared with anyone, not even Lila.
“I used to think I’d start my own business.” He sounds wistful, and it’s a new side of him I don’t remember seeing before.
“Why don’t you?” I ask, glancing at him. He’s still young enough to change directions in life. But I understand how someone can feel trapped by the day-to-day details.
“I might. I like my coffee black, but with a little bit of sugar and a splash of chocolate,” he shares.
“I thought you were going to say a splash of whiskey,” I say playfully, and he shrugs.
“That, too,” he says, his lips curving into a smile.
“I love cheesy romantic comedies,” I whisper, loving that I can just share myself with him - even the bits I”d be too embarrassed to tell anyone else.
It”s strange, realizing how this man—a constant presence in my life through Alex—is now carving out his own space in my heart. He”s not just Alex”s best friend anymore. He”s Kade. And he”s here with me.
Our laughter fades, leaving a comfortable silence. We”re surrounded by absurd card combinations, staring up at my ceiling like it’s the night sky, but none of that matters. What matters is us, here, right now, and how we feel.
The rumble of thunder sparks something deep within me, and the sudden patter of fat raindrops against my window have me lifting my head and glancing toward the balcony.
“Come on.” I”m on my feet, pulling him up. Curiosity flickers across his face, but he follows nonetheless.
We step onto the balcony and the city unravels before us, streets slicked with water, lights reflecting in the moisture gathering on the pavement. The lights of the city are reflected on the ground and my heart swells. “It”s beautiful,” I whisper, leaning on the wet railing without a care.
Kade moves closer, his shoulder just brushing mine. Heat radiates from him, despite the chill in the air. “Not as beautiful as you,” he murmurs, his voice so low it”s almost swallowed by the sound of the downpour.
A flush creeps up my cheeks, warm and unexpected. His compliment feels intimate, even amidst the clamor of the city and the chaos of the storm. He reaches for me, his fingers finding my chin as he tips my head back. His lips meet mine and the rain intensifies, but for a moment longer, we stand together, locked in a kiss as the rain leaves me feeling so very alive.
As water drops off me, I grab Kade”s hand and tug him back into the warmth of my apartment, out of the downpour. We”re both a little breathless, as I slide the glass door shut behind us.
“Wow, that escalated quickly,” he says, as the torrential downpour beats at the window with the fierceness of an impending storm, and lightning flashes across the sky.
“Right?” My heart is still racing, not just from the dash indoors but from the closeness of him. “Nature”s got her own drama, I guess.”
With that, I strip down out of my wet clothing and make my way to the washer, depositing them.
“I’m sorry I don’t have something else for you to wear,” I say. But he gestures toward the front door with a sheepish smile.
“I brought an overnight bag.”
I arch an eyebrow at him, well aware I’m naked. “Well, that’s presumptuous of you,” I say in a teasing tone. He leans in close, his eyes sparkling wickedly.
“The presumptuous part is that I packed condoms.”
I laugh. With light steps, I make my way to my bedroom to pull on some dry pjs, and he goes to get his bag. Moments later, we’re both dry and on the living room couch, a soft, chunky blanket draped over us.
“Better?” he asks, his voice warm in the quiet.
“Much,” I say, sinking into the sofa as we curl into one another.Our bodies mold together naturally, like puzzle pieces finding their rightful place.
“I wonder if we should open the door,” I say, wanting to hear the rain better. But I decide not to, because I want to hear him, too.
We sit there, sharing stories, as if planning for a future neither of us can be sure we’ll have. He talks about his dream of a house in the country, a huge oak with a tire swing for the kids he wants to have, A safe haven to escape the world to with people he loves.
I love the sound of his dreams, and I confess my wishes, the joy found in the everyday—the club, the people, the life I”m building here, even though I sometimes question if the club is my forever path in life.
“Your passion for what you do...it”s...” Kade searches for the word, his dark eyes locked on mine, “infectious.”
I laugh softly, feeling a rush of pleasure at his words. “And your dreams are inspiring.”
The conversation between us flows. With each word, I learn more about him—the man who”s always been right beside me, but who I didn’t know thanks to him being hidden behind a reputation that didn”t tell his whole story.
And when it feels like we have nothing more to say, we sit in silence. His thumb idly strokes my skin, his breath warms my skin, and his slow and steady heartbeat relaxes me even more.
It”s then, in that quiet moment that chases our confessions, our secrets, our words, that I realize something terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
I”m falling in love with him.
I’m falling in love with Kade. My brother”s best friend, the man I thought I hated but now can”t imagine being without. My heart swells with the weight of the emotion, a sweet ache that fills my chest.
And as the rain outside softens to a gentle patter once more, I lean into him, letting the warmth of his body, the beat of his heart, and the comfort of the moment fill my being and recharge the exhausted parts of me.