Chapter Thirty
Serenity
Saturday morning, walking through the Danube Stadium parking lot in advance of practice, I see Jewel up ahead. ‘Jewel!’ I call out. ‘Wait up!’
‘Hey, Ren,’ she says when I reach her, though her tone is subdued, and she doesn’t quite seem herself. ‘Did you walk here?’
‘I took the bus,’ I say, out of breath. ‘Car engine is busted. Can I talk to you for a minute? In private?’
Jewel frowns. ‘I mean, I guess? I’ve barely seen you lately.’
‘That’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you abou—’
I squeal when one arm goes around my middle and Harmony’s chin comes to rest on my shoulder. ‘Hey, girls. Jewel, can I borrow Serenity for a sec?’
Harmony doesn’t wait for an answer, just twirls me around and links her arm in mine. I glance back and Jewel’s got irritation written all over her face. I give her an apologetic look, yet I don’t want to wait too much longer before telling her about Jake.
‘You and I need to have a talk,’ Harmony says, as we head for the staff entrance, keeping her voice low but tense with excitement. ‘Ally said it went well last night.’
‘I mean… he got the message. Plus, I got Persia’s uniform back. It’s in my bag. Just need to figure out how to return it so nothing looks amiss.’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.’
It’s only then that I notice something different about her. She doesn’t look as turned out as she normally does. Her hair is tousled, and there’s a mischievous glint in her eye and it makes me smile.
‘So, you and I might be in the same boat,’ she says, leaning over and whispering in my ear.
We both giggle. ‘I figured you might be. What happened?’
Before we enter the CMC locker room, Harmony checks who is following, then pulls me to one side.
‘Thursday night, Hudson was so mad.’
‘I remember.’
‘And driving home, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Jake. How you’d put each other before any stupid rules or contract. So, I turned my car around and drove right on over there to his place.’
I grin. ‘And?’
‘Hammered on his door until he answered. Asked him straight up if he was in love with me and when he said ‘yes’, practically threw myself into his arms. Not that he complained after that moment.’
‘Jake said he looked pretty happy at yesterday’s training session.’
‘I had to go to work! Don’t think I’ve ever been that sore.’
I lower my voice again. I can see Jewel approaching. ‘Was it worth it?’
Harmony bites her lip. ‘Every. Orgasmic. Second.’
We collapse into more giggles. It feels good to be able to share this with her. Except the look that Jewel throws me the minute she enters the CMC locker room tells me that my fellow rookie doesn’t like being left out of the conversation.
‘Can we talk more about it later?’ Harmony says with a grin. ‘I can’t wait ’til they’re back Monday.’
I think about how good sex with Jake was in his pickup. Twice. ‘Me either.’
I follow her inside. Some of the girls are already dressed. I’m careful not to show anyone the contents of my bag when I put it inside my locker.
Practice over, we’re back in the locker room.
‘What was it you wanted to tell me?’ Jewel asks when I’m still dressed in my CMC uniform and we’re sharing a mirror, removing our makeup and eyelashes before a shower.
‘Maybe we could go somewhere? Grab a coffee?’ I suggest. ‘I can’t really say it in here.’
She looks at me, perhaps for longer than is necessary.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘Nothing,’ she says with a heavy sigh. ‘Didn’t have you down as the secretive type, is all, Ren.’
‘I’m not being secretive, I promise,’ I say.
She grants me another withering look in the reflection. ‘I’ve come to realize there’s a lot I don’t know about you, Serenity,’ she says.
I don’t have time to respond, because the door to the locker room is thrust open and Kathleen Lafferty walks through it.
Every cheerleader looks her way.
Her gaze falls on me. She seems pale.
I’ve seen that look upon her face before. Because it’s disappointment.
‘Serenity,’ she says. ‘Ms Conway’s office. Now.’
I follow Kathleen in silence. We ride the elevator up to the fourth floor where the offices are situated. Kathleen turns to me. She’s about to speak when the elevator comes to a halt and another Mutineers’ employee steps inside.
I look to the floor, keeping my gaze fixed on Kathleen’s shoes. When we reach the fourth floor, my heart begins to thud hard in my chest.
I feel everyone’s eyes on me. I’m in full uniform, almost full makeup. I’m not supposed to be here.
Nobody says a word to me, or Kathleen. We reach a door and Kathleen’s hand goes to the handle. She turns my way, but she doesn’t look me in the eye.
I see her swallow. ‘I wish you’d come to me,’ she whispers, then opens the door.
Light floods my face. Kathleen leads me inside an office with full windows overlooking Canyon’s business district on the far side of the parking lot. There’s a substantial conference table. Samantha Conway is waiting for me in a navy pant suit, killer heels and deep red lipstick.
‘Close the door, Kathleen,’ Ms Conway says. My bottom lip begins to tremble as Kathleen shuts the door.
In the silence that follows, I glance down and my body goes rigid. On the glass surface of the table, there’s a printout of a photograph. It’s a picture of Jake and I, arms around one another, kissing.
Tears sting the corners of my eyes.
I recognize the moment it was taken: in the basement parking lot of Brody Conway’s apartment building, last night. The image is grainy, like it was pulled from CCTV, but there’s no denying it’s our faces that are locked together.
I forget how to breathe. The thing I’ve tried to cling onto, the one thing I’m not supposed to have… it’s gone. Because it’s out in the open.
I look at Ms Conway, to Kathleen and back again, then grasp my fingers together. I know that the expression on my face gives everything away.
‘In the early hours of this morning, I received two anonymous emails,’ Ms Conway begins in an icy tone.
‘The first contained this image. The second contained an accusation so heinous, I can scarce believe it to be true. It stated that you, Miss Serenity Harper, an upstanding, valued, respected member of our CMC community, a rookie, have been moonlighting…’
She stops, as though in disbelief, and pinches the bridge of her nose, as though she’s trying to compose herself.
My stomach does a flip. ‘Have been moonlighting as a stripper on the west side of Canyon. And not only that, but that you were employed at the establishment in question even before you were welcomed into our squad.’
She raises her chin. Looks down her nose at me with such disdain that I can’t hold back the tears anymore. ‘So, I sent somebody to look into it. And—’
‘I can explain,’ I whisper, looking to Kathleen, whose shoulders sag when she realizes the accusation is true. ‘Please. I can explain everything.’
‘I don’t need to hear your explanations,’ Ms Conway hisses, her tone now jagged. ‘It’s bad enough that you already broke the terms of your contract.’ She swipes up the photograph and thrusts it in my direction. ‘Do you deny it?’
‘We didn’t mean for it to happen,’ I say, but I already know it’s useless. I am done for.
‘And yet you seemingly thought it prudent to continue – no, had the audacity to continue – despite knowing the rules, despite knowing how I feel about this sort of… frivolity. The CMC stands for everything that is good and pure. There is a reason fraternization is prohibited. It’s not good for the players, it’s not good for the brand.
You represent the brand, Miss Harper, you do not sully it!
The brand is bigger than you will ever be.
The brand matters more than your very existence ever will.
How dare you think you can come here and break the rules that I give you.
You’ve disgraced yourself. You’ve let down your squad. ’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I say weakly.
‘You’ll be more than sorry.’
‘I didn’t have a choice about working at Surly’s. My father, he—’
‘You had no business bringing your kind near this stadium. This is sacred ground. You weren’t even worthy of an audition! You are not worthy of that uniform. Take it off.’
My mouth falls open. ‘I’m sorry, wha—’
‘You heard me, take it off. It would seem you would know what you’re doing when it comes to taking off your clothes. Kathleen, get me her things from her locker. I’ll have her escorted out. Call security on your way back up.’
Even Kathleen looks surprised. I offer her a pleading look as I watch her leave, because I don’t want to be left alone in a room with only Samantha Conway for company.
‘Take. It. Off. Now.’
I snap back to reality. I can barely swallow the lump in my throat.
Hot tears run down my cheeks, my heart thumping so fast in my chest that I can’t think straight.
Fingers trembling, I unzip my boots and kick them off.
I wipe more tears before shimmying out my shorts, then lift my CMC ‘M’ branded top over my head until I’m standing there in just my underwear.
I pick up my uniform and fold it on the table.
I know I should fight back. Yet, equally, I know the power she has. Looking at her, I know I’ll never dance with the CMC again.
We wait, for a long while, in awful silence. I hug my waist, feeling exposed and cold too, under the air con vent.
‘I accept that I should never have gotten into a relationship with Jake Walsh,’ I say in a small voice, in my own defense.
‘I know I’ve broken the rules. I know I don’t deserve to stay.
But I want you to know… I danced at Surly’s because I had to.
I had to pay my father’s debt. I did what I had to do.
And maybe I should have spoken to you and Kathleen before I auditioned.
I was scared. I never thought I’d make it as far as I did. ’
‘Stop talking,’ she fires back at me while we wait for Kathleen’s return. ‘You will leave here today; you are not permitted to return. You are no longer a member of the CMC. You are fired, Serenity. Plain and simple.’
More tears follow. I can’t stop them now.
‘And don’t even think about contacting Jake Walsh. The plane is on the way to Tennessee. I’ve instructed Coach Holland to remove all phones from the players as we speak. Nothing can distract from tomorrow night’s game.’
‘They’re not children,’ I manage.
Ms Conway opens her mouth to speak but she is interrupted by Kathleen re-entering the room, holding my bag and my clothes, her face like thunder.
She looks to me, in my underwear. She puts my bag on the table and slides the zipper open. Silently, she looks to Ms Conway. Then she lifts out Persia’s uniform.
Fresh tears fall.
‘Can you explain this too?’ Kathleen asks me.
‘What is that?’ Ms Conway questions.
Kathleen pulls out the crumpled uniform in full and lays it out on the table. ‘Why do you have this, Serenity?’ she asks. ‘Why do you have Persia Takeda’s missing uniform in your bag?’
Ms Conway physically gasps.
‘I—’ I begin, but I don’t know how to continue.
I straighten. Wipe my tears. Acceptance creeps in. Yes, it looks bad, but I remind myself that this isn’t my fault. I only tried to get it back.
I raise my chin. I don’t have anything left to lose.
‘You might want to ask your son that question,’ I say in Samantha Conway’s direction.
Something flashes across her features. ‘Kathleen, did you call security?’
‘I did,’ my squad leader says grimly.
Ms Conway’s eyes come back to mine. ‘Get dressed. Take your things and go. I don’t ever want to see you near this stadium again.’
Samantha Conway stalks out. The door slams behind her.
I step forward and grab my clothes. I dress quickly – aware that Kathleen is waiting on me – and when I’m done, I wipe tears from my face and collect my bag from the table.
Kathleen opens the door and two burly men enter the room, dressed all in black.
‘We’ll need your door pass, ma’am,’ the bigger of the two men says to me.
I root around in my bag and pass it to him.
Kathleen orders them, ‘Escort her to her car.’
‘I don’t have a car,’ I mumble, in what seems like a final humiliation. ‘I came here on the bus.’
‘Then escort her from the premises,’ Kathleen corrects herself. She gathers up both sets of uniform. She doesn’t even look me in the eye when she departs.
Moments after she’s gone, I follow the two men out.