Chapter 3 #2
"About what?"
He takes a deep breath before continuing, "About... us."
He looks so nervous, and it only seems to get worse. It's strange. I never thought this would happen.
My heart leaps into my throat, and I can't help but feel excitement and trepidation at the thought of finally having this conversation with him. But as much as I want to dive right in, I also know that we need to be careful, especially if Ryan is going to find out about whatever this is between us.
"What do you mean, 'us'?" I ask carefully, keeping my voice neutral. "We're just friends, remember?"
Jake's jaw tightens at the reminder, and he takes another step closer to me. "You know that's not true," he says softly. "Not after... everything that's happened."
I swallow hard, feeling the truth of his words like a physical force between us.
Because as much as I might want to deny it, there's no use pretending anymore.
That kiss by the pool before he was deployed in the military, those almost-encounters in the kitchen and the hallway.
.. they've changed things between us, whether we like it or not.
"I know," I admit quietly, meeting his gaze head-on. "But I wonder what it really changes."
Jake's expression darkens at my words, and he takes another step closer, closing the distance between us until we're standing mere inches apart. I can feel the heat radiating off his body, and it takes every ounce of self-control not to reach out and touch him.
"And why not?" Jake challenges me, his eyes holding me captive. "Because you keep saying we shouldn't, but then you turn around and kiss me like it's the only thing you've ever wanted to do."
That's actually true. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do.
I'm not the only one at fault here. Everything that's happened between us is on him too. It wouldn't have become this mess if he hadn't played a part.
I swallow hard, taken aback by the sudden intensity in his eyes—and by the truth of his words. Because as much as I might try to deny it, there's no use pretending that I don't want him, not when every fiber of my being is screaming at me to give in to this thing between us.
"Jake," I start, but he cuts me off with a sharp shake of his head.
"No," he says firmly. "You can't keep doing this. Saying one thing and then acting like you want something else entirely."
His reaction is... something else, to say the least. I thought we were just playing around and goofing off, at least from his point of view. But it turns out it's always been serious to him.
Which is interesting, because when we met the night I came back, he seemed way less serious about the tension between us. Now he's acting so differently, it's almost like he's a completely different man.
I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling defensive and more than a little irritated by the accusation in his voice. "And what am I supposed to do?" I shoot back. "Just forget about everything that's happened between us? Pretend like none of it ever happened?"
There's a lot of history between us, things that I'd rather not remember. That's why this conversation feels so personal.
Jake runs a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "I'm not saying that," he sighs. "But we can't just keep going back and forth like this, especially not when you're the one who always starts it."
He gestures helplessly between us, as if trying to encompass all the moments we've shared—the almost-kisses, the moments we caught each other staring, the heated conversations that have left me feeling breathless and wanting more.
"Me?" I exclaim, incredulous. "You're blaming it on me?"
Jake's expression softens slightly at the hurt in my voice, but he doesn't back down. "I'm not blaming you for anything," he says softly. "I just... I can't keep doing this, Mia."
My heart aches at his words, even as I understand what he means. Because as much as I might want to deny it, I know that getting involved with Jake would be a recipe for disaster, and not just because of Ryan.
"I know," I say quietly, looking down at the ground between us. "I just... I can't help how I feel."
Jake takes another step closer and clears his throat. He's about to say something else, and I can't help but wonder what it's going to be. Whatever it is, I know it's coming straight from the heart.
"Neither can I."
"One more kiss," I say, my voice steady despite the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
That's something I've always wanted to say, but thought it would never happen.
"That's all I'm asking for, Jake. Just one kiss, so we can finally put this tension between us to rest." For now, anyway.
I know that as long as we're near each other, it'll always linger in the back of my mind.
Jake's eyes flash with something like anger—and maybe even a hint of desire—as he takes another step closer to me. He's close enough now that I can feel the heat radiating off his body, and it takes every ounce of self-control not to reach out and touch him.
"You think that's all it would be?" he challenges me, looking at me like he's either going to kill me or propose. "One kiss?"
I swallow hard, feeling my resolve waver in the face of his intensity. But I refuse to back down now—not when we're so close.
"I think it's worth a try," I say, clearing my throat. "Don't you?"
Jake studies me for a moment, his gaze searching as if he's trying to figure out what I'm really thinking and feeling. And then, without warning, he reaches out and takes hold of my waist, pulling me roughly against him.
"I know it's not," he says, his voice barely above a growl. "But since you're so determined to find out... here goes nothing."
And then his mouth is on mine, hot and demanding and unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It's like every kiss we've almost had—every moment we've spent dancing around this attraction between us—has all built up to this one perfect moment.
I gasp against his lips, my hands finding their way to his chest as I cling to him for support. His arms wrap tightly around me, holding me in place as he deepens the kiss, exploring my mouth with a hunger that leaves me breathless and wanting more.
This is what I've been craving, what I've been dreaming of, for years now. And it's even better than anything I could have imagined.
The kiss starts out as a challenge, a dare, something to prove that we can resist each other once and for all. But within seconds, it becomes something else entirely.
Jake's hands are firm on my waist, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of my hips as he pulls me flush against him.
I can feel every inch of his body pressed against mine, and a shiver runs down my spine at the contact.
His mouth is hot and demanding, his tongue teasing mine in a way that makes my knees weak.
I moan softly, my hands fisting the fabric of his t-shirt as I hold on for dear life. Jake responds by sliding one hand up my back, his fingers tangling in my hair as he angles my head to deepen the kiss even further.
My body aches with a need I've never felt before, and I press myself even closer to him, desperate for more.
Jake seems to understand my unspoken plea, his fingers trailing up my spine until they reach the clasp of my bikini.
He fumbles with it for a moment before the straps give way, freeing my breasts.
I gasp as he breaks away from my mouth, his lips trailing down my neck and across my collarbone. His hands cup my breasts, thumbs brushing against my nipples in a way that makes me arch into him. I can feel them hardening under his touch, and it's all I can do not to beg for more.
Jake seems to be struggling with his own restraint, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he kisses his way back up to my mouth. But just as I think we're about to cross that final line, he suddenly pulls away, leaving me bereft and wanting.
"No," he says hoarsely, shaking his head as if trying to clear it. "Not like this."
I blink at him in confusion, my heart still pounding in my chest. "What do you mean?" I ask.
Jake takes a deep breath, running a hand through his disheveled hair before answering me. "I meant what I said earlier. We can't keep doing this. Not when we know it's just going to make things harder in the end."
"Huh?" I say, heart pounding and struggling to believe that this is happening. But it is. It really is and I can't change it. "You can't just say something like that and then walk away."
Jake looks away from me, his jaw clenched tight. "I have to," he says quietly. "It's for the best."
I'm struggling to comprehend what he's thinking. One moment he's kissing me, then he's loving me, and then the next it looks like he's going to walk away.
'Frustration' must be his middle name or something like that.
Having said that, he turns and walks away, leaving me standing alone by the pool, my heart aching and my body still humming with desire. I watch him go, overwhelmed with frustration and anger, and something else, something I don't want to acknowledge.
"Asshole," I mutter under my breath, kicking at the ground with my bare foot. "What right does he have to decide what's best for me?"
But even as I say it, I know that Jake is only doing this because he thinks it's the right thing to do, for both of our sakes. And as much as it hurts, I can't help but appreciate his restraint, even if I hate him a little bit for it right now.
◆◆◆
The next day, sitting at the kitchen table, picking at my cereal, I can't help but steal glances at Jake.
He's leaning against the counter, sipping his coffee like nothing happened yesterday.
Like he didn't leave me breathless and confused by that intense make-out session by the pool and then just walk away without a word.